When I was in grade nine, I went to a high school that shared its building with another high school.
Basically, St. Marcellinus was a newly built high school,
and at the time, we only had two years worth of schools to occupy the building:
the freshmen, and the sophomores.
And because of that, almost half of the classrooms in the school were vacant.
This allowed another school, St. Joan of Arc, to use those available spaces until their school was built.
I didn't really think much of it,
until I met Joyce.
"Hey Dom, I don't think you make it obvious enough that you're not using real names in your stories."
"What, really, you mean people are actually searching 'Erin Kim' on Facebook?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm."
Anyway, my first period was French,
and the classroom happened to be at the border [at] which my school,
and St. Joan of Arc, were separated.
One day, as I was waiting in front of my classroom for the teacher to come and open the door for us,
I happened to catch glimpse of a cute girl from the other school who was also waiting for her teacher.
"Dom, it seems like you get into a lot of shit when you
notice a cute girl.
Is this gonna be one of those stories?"
"Shh, shh, just,
just sit down. Let me tell the story."
So this continued nearly every day.
I get to my class early
just so I could get a chance to look at the cute girl before she entered her class,
like the creep I am.
I think I did it often enough where she eventually recognized me, because
one day I came across her Asian Avenue website.
If you don't know what that questionably exclusive website was,
it was basically a Myspace,
but, you guessed it—
for Asians!
So I found her page, [and] recognized from the pictures that she was the same girl.
13-year-old me said, "what the heck? I'll leave a message."
I said "Hey, you look familiar.
Do you go to St. Joan of Arc?"
She said, "Yeah! you go to St. Marcellinus right?"
[GASPS]
(I've been noticed...)
And that was the start of a new friendship.
We started meeting up before our first classes, and although they were short, I cherished it.
We even began strategically planning the paths we took to our next classes,
just so we could briefly run into each other.
She gave me this nickname,
Domz,
and it just stuck with me. I liked it,
even though it was just adding a letter to my name.
She found my art really impressive,
and having her support really made me want to do better and improve my skills
I still remember her saying,
"Domz, if you ever become a famous artist, don't forget me!"
Eventually we found ourselves talking every day, whether it was at school or online.
I didn't have a phone, believe it or not, little six-year-old with an iPad.
I really liked her,
but was it worth the risk of spilling my feelings
and possibly making the friendship awkward?
"Yes"
I mean, I was happy where we were.
We shared personal secrets with each other.
She came to me whenever she had problems; I came to her with mine.
Intimacy was probably the only thing separating us from being a couple.
I became acquainted with one of her close friends,
and even she thought I should ask her out.
But I've never done that before.
I've never had a girlfriend at that point,
and everything before that was merely a series of crushes on girls
that I never had a chance with.
But I thought to myself that
if I was ever gonna have a first, she would be my pick
I decided to tell her how I felt.
I believe that had a good chance seeing as how we were best friends.
We already had that bond, that trust.
I told myself that if she does say no,
I would respectfully accept it and still remain friends with her.
Easier said than done...
and...
that's what happened.
I wasn't sure if there was someone else or anything, but regardless,
she just didn't see me in that way.
I felt crushed (pun intended),
but it felt amazing to get that off my chest.
She didn't find it too weird.
She was an open-minded girl.
And yes, I titled this "Best Friend Zone" because that is what it was.
I was in a realm of the relationship of which I could not proceed to the next.
I'm not using the term as a means to bolster the egos of over-entitled "nice guys."
She didn't owe me anything.
I'm not saying that just because her friends and I thought we would be a good couple, [means] we should have been one.
I'm simply saying that although I didn't exactly
get the girl,
I was happy that I still got to stay best friends with her,
and even though I could never breach that barrier
I was alright with it.
If you're one of those people that claim you got friendzoned
but complain about it like she owes your relationship,
then that's not the friendzone, mate—that's the pity zone.
Politely accept the rejection and move on.
Anyway, I obviously didn't get over her right away
I accepted her answer, but my feelings still lingered along with questions of why I was inadequate as a boyfriend.
But I guess that's the mistake most people make when facing rejection.
They just invest so much into one person that they get tunnel vision,
and when they get rejected by them they can't fathom the possibility that maybe they're adequate for someone else.
I came to realize that, and soon enough Joyce and I were back to our usual friendship.
She became interested in other guys; I became interested in other girls.
But we were there for each other.
In a way, it was probably for the best that we didn't end up together
Because at the end of my sophomore year, I came to her with some news.
"My dad got a job in Virginia."
"I'm moving."
"No no no no, Dom, you come back here, and you continue this right now."
Okay, okay! Geez...
can't appreciate a cliffhanger?
"I'm moving."
And this definitely wouldn't be the last time I hurt someone by leaving them.
We've been best friends for two years, and it wasn't easy for us to say goodbye.
I had no idea how long I'd be in Virginia. I couldn't promise her I'd be back,
but I definitely visited from time to time.
We still kept in touch online, but she wanted to keep her updates special, so she preferred to write letters.
However, while we had all these methods of communicating,
we were in two different worlds. Two different environments.
I made new friends,
and when her school finally moved to their new building, she found new ones as well.
We started talking less.
Eventually it drifted apart; not as total strangers.
We would still be what you consider... friends,
but not like before.
And that happens.
We can't always find someone or something to blame for it.
As long as you enjoyed the experience, then it was definitely worthwhile.
And even if you didn't,
it would at least make a good story.
[The feels...]