- I really love how you co-parent.
And you have been a major beacon of how it can be done
because no parent on Earth probably signs up to have kids
and then wants to, you know, have the plan change.
How did you know to do this in this way?
I mean, you literally gave a euphemism for divorce
that makes us all feel like we're saying it
with a flare of dignity and hope.
- Thank you.
- How did you take something broken and fix it?
(Gwyneth laughs)
- I mean, it's so interesting because, like,
in a way my divorce and my relationship with Chris now is,
like, better than our marriage was.
So, I do think that it can be done.
I think, you know, there needs...
I was really lucky because I had a doctor
who kinda gave us a rubric for how to do it.
And luckily he's writing a book,
and I think it's coming out next year, thank goodness.
And because it really kinda lays out the tenets of
how you do it and it's a little bit unsurprising, right?
It's like you have to have radical accountability.
You have to know that every relationship is 50/50
no matter what you think,
how you think you were wronged or,
you know, how bad you perceive the other person's actions
or whatever the case may be.
If you are brave enough
to take responsibility for your half
and really look at your own garbage and your own trauma
and how it's presenting in the world
and in your relationship,
then there's really somewhere to go
and something to learn and something to heal.
And then also you're holding the other person
in this sphere of humanity.
Like, we're all part good and part bad.
It's not binary.
We're all gray area.
We all are trying our best.
And I really wanted my kids to not be traumatized
if it were possible.
Chris and I committed to putting them first,
and that's harder than it looks
'cause some days you really don't wanna be
with the person you're getting divorced from.
But if you're committed to having family dinner
then you do it.
And you take a deep breath,
and you look the person in the eye,
and you remember your pact, and you smile,
and you hug, and you make a joke,
and you just re-commit to this new relationship
that you are trying to foster.
- None of us wanna get it wrong for our kids.
But just because of what happened in the marriage
is not about the parenting.
This is about their relationship
with their dad and their mom.
Not about their relationship with your marriage.
- You know what?
You said it, it's like you're ending a marriage
but you're still in a family.
Like, that's how it will be forever.
Some days it's not as good as it looks, you know?
We also have good days and bad days,
but I think it's driving towards the same purpose
of unity and love and really what's best for them.
And we have this idea that just because we break up
we can't love the things about the person anymore
that we loved, and that's not true.
- I've always seen you from afar and wished to know you,
and then it was, like, finally our timing came together and-
- Thank God!
- I just marvel at you!
And by the way, you're the best planner,
the most cool friend, the best sense of humor.
I die over you!
And I would be totally selfish to just love up on you
and not get, like, any insider goop information,
not to take a turn totally,
but is there any exciting news or things you wanna tell us
so that we may better the outside
after we've talked about how we take care of our insides
and our hearts?
What's the 4-1-1?
- Well, I have been spending,
you know, quarantine's been a very interesting time,
I think for all of us.
And, you know, obviously it's been pretty horrific
in a lot of ways,
but I think there has been this wonderful silver lining
of this beautiful insularity at home
and with our kids and with our loved ones.
But no traveling, no rushing around,
so it's sort of time to sit.
It's been time to sit with yourself and...
So, I sort of, like, recommitted to a few things
to feel better.
Like, my meditation practice which had been so sporadic.
And making sure to move every single day no matter what.
And, like, trying to be good with hydration and everything.
But my one little beauty tip,
since I was doing so many Zooms all I could see was, like,
these frown lines that I was having here.
And I'm really lucky
'cause one of my closest friends is a plastic surgeon.
His name is Julius and he lives in Chicago,
and I'm always asking him, like,
what's the thing coming down the road?
And he gave me a teeny drop of this thing called Xeomin
which is a purified ant-wrinkle injection.
And I just feel like...
It was purified.
It's like a uniquely purified formula.
So, I'm like, "Okay, this is in the wellness world."
And it was a Zoom face curer for me.
(upbeat pop music plays)