I don’t understand money. I don't.
That's partly why I'm a comedian.
This is a terrible financial decision.
Like sometimes I do gigs and I try to work out how much money I'm making on the gig.
I'm like "OK, it costs me about three dollars a kilometer to drive my car...
...I drove twenty kilometers to get here...
...they're paying me with a sandwich...
...how does that work out?"
It doesn't work out, is the answer.
Right, but I don't think money is real.
and whenever I say that people always go of course money's real Michael
Here's some notes here's some coins"
No, that’s currency. Money and Currency are two different things
If money was beer currency would be the glass it comes in
We have currency so when you go to the bank you can get your money out in the form of notes
Kinda like how when you go to a bar...
...we have glasses so when you order a beer...
...they don’t just spray it in your face
This guy's like "Oh, actually that sounds delicious!
The notes just represent money.
In the olden days it used to represent gold
Like a ten dollar note was worth ten dollars of gold
But now that note just represents ten dollars of the IDEA of money.
That’s like playing musical chairs but instead of having chairs…
…you’ve just got the CONCEPT of chairs…
I'm worried the music’s gonna stop…
…everyone gets hurt…
I think it's a problem
And people go “Oh Michael, It’s not a problem
Because we all believe the notes have value you can use them to buy goods and services.
You believe in it – you get stuff
That’s how our money works.
I’m like yeah but…
that’s also how Santa works.
They're like "Yeah, we just made it up...
...we just thought it’d make you behave…”
But the idea is money has values cos the government says it has value.
Now when the government makes a note and says it’s money...
...that’s called fiat currency.
When you do it… that’s… a crime…
Don't try that at home.
But that's the idea, right?
The government makes a notes and goes “This is money!”.
Kinda like how McDonalds makes nuggets and goes:
“This is chicken!”
People there going “I don't think that's chicken…”
They're like “Yes it is… that’s fiat Chicken.”
But now that's what we have.
They’ve got rid of gold and silver, now it’s just faith and hope and trust…
And that is terrifying!
That's like being on the Titanic...
And realising they’ve replaced all the life jackets...
… with happy thoughts.
Like, shouldn’t it be something tangible?
Something real? Maybe gold's a good idea.
It's always been valuable... we have that expression:
“Oh, as good as gold”.
Means very trustworthy, very reliable.
"As good as gold"
No one ever goes "Oh...
...as good as an abstract concept of value!”
It just never happens.
So this is the position we're in...
We could be on the edge of a massive monetary collapse
All our notes and coins could suddenly become worthless.
That would be terrible.
But if that did happen I would look like a genius...
Cos I've been getting paid in sandwiches.
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