- [sighs]
HAPPY SUNDAY, ESTHER.
- HAPPY SUNDAY, GEORGINA.
HOW WAS YOUR WEEK?
- OH, THE LORD IS WITH ME. - MM-HMM.
- BUT THE DEVIL,
HE GOT HIS HANDS ON MY GRANDNIECE GRACE.
- OH, NO. - MM-HMM.
OUT THERE SMOKING THE REEFER, DOING THE HANKY-PANKY WITH BOYS.
- NO, GEORGINA.
- OH, ESTHER, YOU KNOW
THAT I LOVE ALL THINGS THAT ARE GOOD AND HOLY.
- MM-HMM. - BUT IF HE DOESN'T LET GO
OF MY GRANDNIECE GRACE,
I'M GONNA CUT THE DEVIL'S [bleep] OFF
AND SHOVE IT IN HIS ASS.
- MM-HMM.
- WITH MY PRAYERS. - I KNOW YOU WILL, GEORGINA.
I KNOW YOU WILL.
- HOW WAS YOUR WEEK, GIRL?
- OH, YOU KNOW ME.
I'M BLESSED AND THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING.
- MM-HMM. ALL RIGHT.
- BUT YOU KNOW MY GRANDSON JASON GOT HISSELF WRAPPED UP
IN THE LEATHERY CLAWS OF SATAN.
- NOT JASON. - HE GOT HISSELF ARRESTED
FOR THE SPRAY-PAINTING AND THE VANDALISM.
- OH, LORD.
- AND I TELL YOU, I NEVER
RAISE MY HAND IN ANGER,
BUT IF HE DON'T LET JASON GO,
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT [bleep] SATAN IN THE NUTS SO HARD,
IT WIPE THE [bleep]-LICKING SMIRK OFF HIS HORNED-ASS FACE.
- MM-HMM.
- WITH MY PRAYERS. - AMEN.
I KNOW YOU WILL, ESTHER, I KNOW YOU WILL,
BUT ESTHER, I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE, NOW.
- MMM, LET IT OUT.
- YOU KNOW, ESTHER,
THAT I HAVE FOUND SERENITY IN THE GLORY OF HEAVEN.
- YES.
- BUT MY DAUGHTER'S HUSBAND BERNARD HAS GOT HIMSELF WEDGED
BETWEEN THE CLEFT HOOVES OF LUCIFER HISSELF.
- MMM. - SHE OPENED UP
HIS LAPTOP COMPUTER
AND FOUND THE PORNOGRAPHY OF WOMEN.
- NOT THE PORNOGRAPHY OF WOMEN.
- ABSOLUTELY THE PORNOGRAPHY OF WOMEN.
- NOT ON THE LAPTOP COMPUTER.
- ON THE LAPTOP COMPUTER FOUND THE PORNOGRAPHY OF WOMEN.
- MMM.
- I AM A PACIFIST UNDER GOD'S REQUEST,
BUT IF HE DON'T LET GO OF BERNARD,
I'M GONNA SNEAK UP ON THAT BITCH-ASS LUCIFER
RIGHT IN THE MIDST OF HIS SLEEP TIME.
- OH. - AND THEN I'M GONNA SIT
ON THAT MOTHER[bleep]'S HEAD,
AND I'M GONNA SPREAD MY BOOTY CHEEKS ON THAT PIG'S FACE,
AND I'M GONNA JUST PUCKER UP MY STANK HOLE...
- WHOO.
- AND JUST TOOPS, TOOPS, TOOPS,
SCOOPS, BEDOOP-SCOOP-SCOOP-SKEDOOPS
UNTIL THAT [bleep] GOT A BROWN DOT ON HIS NOSE
THAT I CAN USE FOR TARGET PRACTICE.
SHA-PLOW!
- SHOOT THAT. - SHA-PLOW!
- SHOOT THAT! - SHA-PLOW!
- WHOO, SHOOT THAT [bleep] IN THE [bleep]-NACK.
- WITH MY PRAYERS.
- WITH YOUR PRAYERS, OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
OH, GEORGINA, GEORGINA, GEORGINA.
- YUP, YUP, YUP, YUP, YUP?
- OH, I GOT NOTHING BUT FAITH IN GOD AND HEAVEN ABOVE,
BUT I TELL YOU, MY SON'S WIFE CRYSTAL,
SHE GOT HERSELF WRAPPED UP IN THE FIERY WINGS
OF MEPHISTOPHELES HISSELF.
- HERE WE GO.
- YOU KNOW, SHE GOT CAUGHT USING PROFANITY WITH HER OWN CHILDREN.
- WHAT? - AT THE DINNER TABLE.
- OH, LORD, CHILD, CHILD.
- GEORGINA DARLENE MARTIN!
OH, I HAVE NOTHING BUT LOVE FOR EVERY CREATURE ON THIS PLANET,
BUT IF HE DON'T LET MY DARLING CRYSTAL GO,
I'M GONNA FLIRT WITH THE DEVIL. - OH. OH.
- SHOW HIM A LITTLE BIT OF SHOULDER.
"HOW YOU DOIN'?"
HE GONNA START LOOKING AWAY, I'M GONNA START TWERKING.
START TWERKING, HE GONNA BE LIKE, "WHOO."
HE GONNA BE, HE GONNA BE DRAWN IN.
- MM-HMM.
- SEDUCE THAT LITTLE MOTHER[bleep].
GIVE HIM ONE OF THESE. "HI."
BATTING MY EYELASHES AT HIM.
THEN WHEN HE LEAST EXPECTS IT,
AND I GOT HIS TRUST, THAT'S WHEN I'M GONNA RIDE THAT [bleep].
I'M GONNA GIVE HIM THE NIGHT OF HIS LIFE,
A NIGHT HE AIN'T NEVER GONNA FORGET.
- GO GET HIM. - I'M GONNA GIVE HIM THIS WAY.
I'M GONNA GIVE HIM THAT WAY.
AND THEN, RIGHT WHEN HE ABOUT TO CLIMAX,
THAT'S WHEN I'M GONNA CLENCH UP MY [bleep]
ON THAT MOTHER[bleep]'S RED [bleep],
AND I'M GONNA SNAP THAT [bleep] [bleep] OFF WITH A DIVINE KEGEL.
- WELL, YOU GONNA SNAP THAT [bleep] [bleep] OFF.
- WHOO! - SNAP IT OFF! WHOO!
- WITH MY PRAYERS. - WITH YOUR PRAYERS.
WITH YOUR PRAYERS. - WITH MY PRAYERS.
- OF COURSE. WITH THE PRAYERS, YEAH.
BUT THAT'S RIGHT, GIRL. - YES.
- YOU GO GET HIM, ESTHER! - YES!
- [bleep] SATAN! - [bleep] HIM!
- [bleep] HIM IN THE--
- WHA--WHAT'S HAPPENING, GEORGINA?
- [deep voice] GEORGINA ISN'T HERE ANYMORE.
[maniacal laugh]
IT IS I, SATAN.
- AH!
[blows landing]
- [normal voice] AH! NO, ESTHER!
I'M IN HERE, THOUGH! - OH!
- I'M KICKING THIS [bleep]'S ASS.
- YEAH! [blows landing]
- [deep voice] OH, HELP ME. SOMEBODY HELP ME.
I CA--CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS BITCH.
- OH, GET HIM, GEORGINA! GET HIM!
- [normal voice] I STUCK A SAFETY PIN
IN THIS [bleep]'S URETHRA.
- OOH! - [deep voice] OWW!
[bleep]! THAT HURTS!
[normal voice] RIGHT NOW I GOT HIS [bleep]
IN MY HANDS LIKE A OLD RAG.
I'M WRINGING OUT! I'M WRINGING IT OUT!
- OH, GIVE ME SOME OF THAT.
I WANT A PIECE OF HIM, YES.
TAG ME IN.
[groans]
[gasps]
[deep voice] WHO IS THIS CRAZY BITCH, NOW?
[normal voice] AH, IT'S ME, MOTHER[bleep]!
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, BITCH! [laughs]
THAT'S RIGHT, [bleep]. I'M ON TOP OF YOU.
I'M ON TOP OF HIM.
[deep voice] WHAT'S GOING ON?
THIS FEELS GOOD. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
[normal voice] OH, YOU'LL SEE IN A SECOND,
MOTHER[bleep]. - JUST WAIT, MOTHER[bleep].
- [deep voice] OH, I'M WAITING, BUT OH, HERE I [bleep].
HERE I [bleep].
[normal voice] HERE YOU GO, HA!
GRABBED IT! SNAP!
- OOH! - OOH, I GOT HIM GOOD.
[deep voice] I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY.
I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY.
- TOO LATE NOW. TOO LATE NOW, SATAN.
OH, SHH. WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO.
- [normal voice] OH, YEAH, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
- WE DON'T WANT TO DISTURB THE SERVICE.
- OOH, I GOT A HOLD OF HIM.
I'M GONNA--WE GONNA GO MEDIEVAL ON HIS ASS.
[deep voice] NO, NO! OH, LORDY! I CAN'T TAKE IT.
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
[normal voice] GET OVER HERE, MISTER.
[deep voice] PLEASE, PLEASE!
GET THESE CRAZY BITCHES OFF OF ME.
JESUS CHRIST IS MY PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOR, I SWEAR.
- YOU'RE TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW.