- Why do you guys sound like Oliver Twist on crack
when you try to imitate our accent?
("Swinging Bird")
- Why you so bad at geography?
- What is your absolute obsession with red cups?
They're in all of your films,
all of your TV shows,
we just don't get it.
No idea.
- Why is your bread so sweet?
It's disgusting.
- Why is Oprah not on anymore?
- Why do you have massive gaps
in the doors of your toilet cubicles?
Everybody can see right in to the toilet cubicles.
Why? Why?
- Why you pronounce twat like twat,
and why you pronounce caramel like carmel,
and why you pronounce herbs like 'erbs?
What happened to the H?
Where did it go?
- Why do you have to make everything bigger?
If you make cars bigger,
it means you have to make engines bigger,
which means you have to make your roads bigger,
which costs you loads more money.
- Can we trade John Oliver for Madonna?
We need him back.
You can keep Piers Morgan.
- When you guys say, "I'm so excited,"
are you actually excited every time?
- Why do you pronounce zed as Z?
It would be really useful if you could kind of
standardize these things.
Also, if you spelled things like organized
with an S rather than the Z.
That would be good too.
- Why don't you use chip and PIN?
- Why do you view Europe as a single country?
- It's just a weird thing,
I just kinda thought with, you know,
Silicon Valley and all that,
you would just have, you know,
kind of be ahead of the tech curve.
- Why are your plugs so crap, America?
- This little thing here, this little chip,
it just makes it really easy just to pay for stuff.
- Why is your bacon so weird?
- Why do you call the wrong thing biscuits and gravy?
Gravy is like a meat juice.
Biscuits are cookies.
Putting them together doesn't make any sense.
What you're doing is scones and jizz.
("Swinging Bird")