Subscriber RainbowMagik asked me “What ride, if completely removed or changed, would make
you completely angry?”
So today on the Q&A I’m going to talk about how Disney can make me angry.
OK first: The quick and boring answer to that question, my initial answer, is “nothing”.
Nothing can be removed or changed at a Disney park to make me angry.
Now, I get it.
I defended Guardians of the Galaxy Mission Breakout from day one, I’ve defended IPs
being added to Epcot, and I even defended the recently announced changes to Pirates
of the Caribbean.
It’d be easy to pin me as an apologist.
However that’s because for me, the potential to be upset and let down isn’t within the
closing of rides, or the changes, it’s within what is being put in that ride’s place.
Above all, I value potential, and it’s when that potential is wasted that I really feel let down.
After all, if there’s a ride at the Disney parks I consider a classic, or one that I
love above and beyond the others, it means I have plenty of fond memories of the attraction,
and while Disney can close a ride, they can’t get rid of those memories.
That’s something I’ll always have.
So to that end I’m usually not too upset when something closes.
It’s what ends up there that matters.
When I think about it, there are three instances in which Disney’s decisions at the parks
have really upset me.
Starting at the bottom, we have instances where attractions are built where there was
previously nothing, that ultimately fell below my expectations.
To be honest the only example of this happening for me is in the Animal Kingdom, and that’s
Dinoland USA.
I’ve spoken at length about the area, but the short version is that it’s about the
most un-Disney-like land in all of Disney World.
They could put an Anastasia castle in the Magic Kingdom and it’d somehow still be
more Disney-esque than Dinoland USA.
The biggest problem is that while it’s meant to be a throwback to carnivals, it doesn’t
even do so in a classy manner, much in the way Paradise Pier does
over in Disney’s California Adventure
It’s just a quick and cheap band-aid for what was ab economic issue during the Animal
Kingdom’s early years.
But like I said, this was a land that came from nothing.
To avoid that part of the park (with exception to Dinosaur) is no different than if it never
existed to begin with.
So I mostly shrug it off, as much as I dislike the area.
Next up we have instances where one ride was closed down in order to be replaced by another.
For me, the big one is Horizons being replaced by Mission: SPACE.
Don’t get me wrong, Mission: SPACE isn’t a bad ride.
I like spinning rides.
I like space.
I like Gary Sinise, though I hear that won’t matter soon.
However when you consider what promise a ride like Horizons offered through it’s trip
through a retro future and modern takes at what we could expect in our future, the rather
shallow Mission SPACE just kind of falls flat.
Nothing about living in space.
Nothing about society in space.
Just take off, avoid some asteroids, and land.
The funny thing is I was more than OK with Horizons closing.
For as much as I loved the ride, it really began to show its age and in a poetic way
was quickly becoming more of a look back at the future than a look forward.
Last but not least, the change to the parks that upset me the most was the instance in
which rides were shut down and replaced with… well… nothing.
That’s what happened at the Wonders of Life pavilion.
Body Wars and Cranium Command closed ten years ago in 2007 and what did we get in its place?
Nothing!
Nada!
Bupkis!
What greater example of wasted potential is there than closing down two rides for absolutely
nothing?!
Similar to Horizons, I wasn’t too bummed to see either go.
Cranium Command was especially dated with it’s 90’s cast, and Body Wars was showing
its age as well.
However I’d take some old attractions over nothing any day of the week!
Yeah Disney occasionally uses the building for events such as the Flower and Garden festival,
but you know that’s not the same thing.
Ultimately I try not to go down this road that often.
I love the Disney Parks and most importantly, I love sharing that love of the parks.
I know it’s easy to grow cynical and jaded when we’re exposed to something regularly,
even if it’s something as great as Disney, but I don’t think the internet benefits
from even more cynicism.
And really, it’s not all that bad anyway.
In a resort of four theme parks with plenty of attractions, I had to really go back to
think for three whole instances where things fell flat for me.
It’s a testament to the quality of Disney imagineering that, at least in my opinion,
their record is so great.
To go back to the original question, and to quote pretty much every parent ever, I don’t
really get mad at Disney, I just end up disappointed sometimes.
Anyway I’d like to hear what you have say on the subject!
Were there instances where a replacement ride didn’t live up to your expectations?
If so, what would you have done differently?
Let me know in the comments below, and if you have questions for future Q&As, be sure
to leave them down in the comments as well.
I want to thank you all for watching, and I’ll see you next time!