this video is titled how to be single
and not go crazy so it's hard to be
single in today's world it's hard to be
joyful and single and do the things the
way that God wants it to be done do
relationships the way God wants things
to be done but it is possible so here
are five things that can help you to be
single and not go crazy
number one everybody's got an ache okay
we have an ache we have this longing and
yearning inside our hearts some people
they feel they go to drugs a good
alcohol to go to sex they go to money
success but you you're smart you know
that that ache only God can fill that
ache I'm married to an amazing husband
he is handsome and holy he's awesome
but guess what even my husband the man
of my dreams my best friend doesn't
satisfy that ache because then ache
alone is for God
only God can satisfy that ache we know
that every time every time we tried to
fill it with something else whether
again whether that's drinking drinking
our palms away you know getting high
having sex looking at pornography
whatever it is we always feel that ache
afterwards and that's how we know we're
not made for this world we're made for
heaven and only in heaven is that it
gonna be fully satisfied so when you
feel that ache that's an opportunity to
turn to God in prayer and to just sit
and let God love you someone said well
every time you feel that ache that's God
knocking on your heart saying I want to
spend time with you and so look at Psalm
63 that's my favorite Psalm about the
ache oh god you are my god for you I
long for you my body yearns for you my
soul thirsts like a land that has
parched lifeless and without water so
personally when I would feel that ache I
would turn to Psalm 63 sit in prayer
with God God Oh Lord that egg is so
strong today because it's gonna be
strong it's gonna be it's always gonna
be there but even when you get married
that egg is still not gonna be fully
satisfied because the person that you
are the love of your life is not God
are imperfect but it's but it's possible
to be joyful even in the midst of that
ache number to be healthy and holy now I
love the saying if you are not happy as
a single person you are not gonna be
happy as a married person
oh shoot dang you know people think that
again marriage is gonna solve all their
problems and that somebody's gonna be
their Savior their therapist it's like
no you don't need a boyfriend you need a
therapist you know if you've got issues
if you if you're dealing with depression
anxiety if you're dealing with some kind
of addiction there's no problem in
seeing a therapist there's no problem in
getting help
I know someone who struggled you know
their father was an alcoholic growing up
and was abusive and they struggle with
it security and an eating disorder all
this stuff and they thought when they
got married I'm gonna that'll go away
because my husband will solve everything
and they got married to an amazing
person it was like oh I'm still dealing
with all my issues
nobody actually in a relationship it
doesn't solve your problems when you're
in a relationship it actually exposes
all the issues so if you've got
emotional issues if you've got physical
spiritual issues you know get a
spiritual director go to therapy get
help be as happy and holy as you can be
now as a single person and man that will
help you in your marriage you're your
spouse I'll be so thankful like oh thank
god this person isn't crazy number 3
memento mori
what Jackie what are you saying okay it
means that remember your death okay
remember this life doesn't last forever
we're gonna die when I was single I
would actually help me to think man I
might die tomorrow I may never get
married on this earth I might be married
to Jesus in heaven and that would
actually help me think like I want to
live life to its full fullest today I'm
not gonna sit and pine about my future
and sit and just whine and whatever I
want to be happy today and live life to
the fullest so your life doesn't start
once you get married your life doesn't
start once you get a boyfriend or
girlfriend or life is happening right
now
so go travel go on adventures get to
know Jesus get to know yourself have fun
I mean I got to travel around the world
when I was single I still get to travel
a lot as a married person but I have
kids now and so I can't just like
get up and buy a ticket to Italy or
Hawaii which I would love to do every
day when my kids are crazy
um but when I was single if I saved up
the money I'd be like hey tickets right
now are really cheap to Europe let's go
500 bucks let's do this and I would go
and travel by myself but now I can't do
it I have her different responsibilities
so when I was single I knew that I had a
different type of freedom that they
didn't have when I was married and with
children and so live your life now your
your life doesn't start once you have a
boyfriend or girlfriend so live every
day you know again memento mori remember
your death remember that this life is
short and go get to it now there are
some stupid sayings about being single
and they may help you they may not but
if it helps you great if it doesn't just
be like this is ridiculous and don't you
don't you don't pay attention to it but
if it does help you write an on a sticky
note write it on a you know like on your
mirror or something here are some things
that when I was single helped me to be a
joyful single person because I was like
well this is tough but I want to be
joyful I don't want to be this miserable
single person so here it goes
God won't show you gold and give you
silver okay which means that if you've
if you've dated someone who's amazing
and they broke up with you know that
there's someone better out there for you
like God doesn't show you an amazing
person and be like haha they don't exist
for you but I used to think I would see
a lot of amazing married men or I would
see a lot I'd be like man God if you
created that kind of person I know that
my future husband is out there somewhere
and he's got to be good okay you can't
just show me these amazing things and be
like no sorry there's no one like that
for you but I I knew you know God
doesn't show you gold and give you
silver like wow and I look at even my
own life and people like Oh Jackie you
and Bobbie have a fairy tale I'm like no
I I'm not like just this special person
but I see a ton of friends I can name 50
couples 100 couples right now that have
beautiful marriages um I'm not just like
this special person that only only I get
to have a good relationship God is
faithful okay
and he loves you you are his son his
daughter and God is faithful and wants
the best for you another stupid saying
is rejection is God's protection and
obviously it rhymes so it has to be true
right
but but I love this actually rejection
is God's protection because in a way and
when you're rejected man that stinks but
what the good thing is about rejection
is like okay they're not for you they're
for somebody else and I just think I
don't want to be with somebody who
doesn't love me as much as I love them
so if you have been rejected
I know rejection stinks okay and you
might think what did I do wrong there's
something wrong with me I'm not good
enough listen that is the devil and
right now in the name of Jesus we want
to rebuke that spirit of insecurity
rebuke him because he has no place in
your life that you deserve somebody who
loves you as much as you love them and
that person that you were pining after
that you are still in love with even
though they rejected you get in your
head remember they're for somebody else
they're called marry somebody else and
you're called to marry somebody else it
is not about you not being good enough
you are good enough and God has a plan
for you and and God has somebody that is
right for you that person they're not
right for you they're right for somebody
else okay
so whenever you feel that insecure and
you feel like you're not good enough
just remember like no mm-hmm I am good
enough and and and God created me and
and don't listen to the devil because
he's a jerk another saying is uh and I
say this all the time listen I would
rather be single and happy in Jesus than
miserable in a relationship I would
rather be single and happy because I was
a happy single person I would rather be
that than settle for just any
relationship where I'm miserable because
I see people who have settled I've had
married people come up to me be like
Jackie I wish I would have heard this
when I was 18 years old not to settle
because they're telling me now hooked
horrible their marriages they've been
cheated on bla bla and they're like man
I wish I want to have settled out of
lust out of money like security don't
settle
don't sell for somebody who is not going
to help lead you to heaven don't sell
for someone just because they have you
know good sex or good chemistry
obviously you shouldn't know them for
marriage anyways but you don't mean like
don't settle for just because you're
lonely again God has somebody in mind
for you if you're called to marriage God
has an amazing person for you so I
personally would rather be single too I
was fifty years old then to settle and
be in a miserable relationship and I
actually know a few 40 45 50 year old
people who've come up to me and it was
their first marriage and they said
Jackie you're so right I I met this 50
year old woman one time she said it was
worth waiting for him it was so worth it
I'm so glad I didn't settle another
stupid saying is the longer you wait the
better he will be or the better she will
be it's true if you're growing in
holiness and they're growing in holiness
then really the longer you wait the
better they'll be and I know personally
marrying Bobby h-how'd I met him five
years earlier we weren't ready I wasn't
ready yet and he wasn't ready yet God
had to do he was working on us got how
to do some things in us before we met
each other and so I remember writing in
this journal I had for my future husband
and saying maybe I'm not ready yet
Lauren or maybe he's not ready yet but
I'm just gonna keep praying I'm gonna
keep praying for my my vocation and keep
praying for my future spouse and I knew
that God was still working on my spouse
and and he was and God's timing is the
best which leads me to point number five
which is the hardest thing to do these
are the two hardest things that you will
do as a single person and that is to be
patient and to trust God patience is the
worst I mean it's the best but it's also
the worst you know to be patient and to
be like I don't know when when this is
gonna happen like Lord you are the
savior of the universe you can bring my
spouse now okay we don't know God's
timing but his timing is way better than
her own so might as well trust that that
God knows what he's doing okay God is
God and He loves you again you are his
son you are his daughter he absolutely
loves you and God wants us to be happy
it doesn't want us to be miserable and
so whether that whether you're in a
single life whether you're married he
wants you to live a life of joy and that
comes above all again to my first point
that God is God and that ache is for him
alone and then again if you know that if
you know that they had a can that
longing is for God you are like a head
of ninety nine point five billion
percent of the rest of the world okay
who tries to satisfy the ache with
everything else so oh god you are my god
for you I long for you my body yearns
for you my soul thirsts and God you
alone satisfy that ache I pray for
everyone watching
every single person help them to be
joyful help them to have that peace and
help them to be a light to the world cuz
life is starting now go get it done
amen
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