Riaz: Let's get real for a moment.
How many times have you had an important message to share where right before you stand up to
speak, your palms get sweaty, your stomach starts turning and then that dreaded dry mouth
kicks in, it's not good but it means that you care about your message.
If you do, there will always be an underlying anxiety every time you present.
In this video, I share a proven technique that will help you use your fear as fuel and
manage your speaking anxiety the next time you need to step up.
Riaz: I'm Riaz welcome to the Every Conversation
Counts Platform.
This is the channel that helps leaders, experts, and coaches connect every time you speak on
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Riaz: Think about this the number one cause of your
speaking anxiety is simple, it's uncertainty.
Will your message be heard?
Will you be able to land that big contract or close that important deal, or maybe just
influence the audience to do things differently?
When all eyes are on us, we can feel exposed and then do what's necessary to protect your
wellbeing.
Avoiding the eye contact, maybe even hiding behind a podium or even worse a never ending
PowerPoint deck.
Whenever I started speaking professionally, I would struggle with this managing the anxiety.
In fact, there were times I thought I was going to forget what I was supposed to say,
because I was so focused on how I would come across.
To try and fix this I would start visualizing my desired outcome.
Listen, I would do the relaxation and breathing techniques.
I would practice the presentation just to make myself more comfortable.
Riaz: But the thing I've come to learn from years
of experience with presenting, listening to feedback, and then course correcting is that
if you want to beat your speaking anxiety, stop focusing on yourself and point your focus
outward.
Think about that.
This shift, isn't something that happens instantaneously.
You've got to put in the effort to make that happen.
Given the virtual world, we are all living in now, the technique of pointing your focus
outward isn't just an option, it's a necessity.
If you want to conquer your speaking anxiety.
Here are three key tips to help eliminate that anxiety and make your audience love you
at the exact same time.
Riaz: Number one ask first, talk second.
Before you step up to share your message, build relationships by talking to people individually
first.
Choose about maybe say five influential people that will be in your audience or virtual setting
and then take the time to ask them the important questions beforehand.
Get their take on what's been happening in the company, the challenges that need to be
confronted, the heroes that need to be celebrated, and then use those findings as powerful context
to customize your content.
You can discover great personal stories or new perspective that you had yet to consider.
Then when it's time for you to present, focus and speak to those topics and specifically
those people in the room, addressing their needs and watch how you will earn the respect
from your peers from knowing what the group is thinking, feeling, and doing.
Great comedians, do this all the time on tour.
They find out what's happening in the city they're performing in and make a local references
to help win the audience over.
Riaz: Number two, be a giver, not a taker.
The one thing I've learned from speaking and coaching other presenters is that the takers
are the ones that have more anxiety because they want and need validation from the audience.
They're wondering, will, the audience like me?
Will they pay attention to me?
Will they find my jokes funny?
Meanwhile, the givers are all about service.
Once the work beforehand has been done with the pregame conversations, you'll know what
the audience needs, so you can confidently speak to their specific pain points and it
becomes an act of service to support your audience's growth and transformation versus
the anxiety that comes from guessing is my content good enough.
Riaz: Third tip, stop scanning and start seeing.
The number one tell if someone is nervous or anxious about speaking their eyes just
scan the room yet they failed to see anyone in the room.
If you want to ground your nerves find your fab five.
Five people you can consistently lock eyes with so it feels like you were having several
personal conversations.
Take your time with this, speak to one person and share a thought or idea, then move to
the next one and use your entire space.
The people in the back of the room, the people on the sides of the room, they'll be appreciative
of your attention because the ones in the middle they'll be getting most of your eye
contact.
Riaz: Now I know what you're thinking.
What about in virtual meetings?
Yes, this becomes a new challenge because your audience members can't tell if you're
looking directly at them, but if you've interviewed your fab five before your presentation, you
can call on them and light them up and engage them in a similar way.
Riaz: Look, speaking could be a nerve wracking experience,
no matter what the context.
If you approach the exercise, though, with an attentive giving, it will help you manage
your anxiety.
Loosen up, have fun and most importantly, maximize the impact you can have on your audience.
Like anything, the more speaking reps you can get in the stronger your presenting muscle
will become and your anxiety will then be an afterthought.
Riaz: What helps you beat your speaking anxiety?
Drop a comment below.
For more ideas on how to connect with others you can download the free guide, The Five
Secrets to Making Every Conversation Count.
Thanks for watching this video.
We cover many more ideas on calming your nerves and projecting confidence when you present
in these videos.
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We'll see you in the next video.