Thank you so very much for being here, everybody.
I appreciate it, and I like to keep you up to date on what's
going on in the world.
So I'm going to show you an article.
Look at this a group of people.
Look at this right here.
Look at those innocent, smiling, happy people.
Here's a problem.
None of those people are real.
They don't exist.
I know, I'm blowing your mind right now.
You're like, what do you mean, they don't exist?
They were created by a computer program.
I swear I saw that lady at Starbucks
this morning, the one on the bottom.
This is a website called--
thispersondoesnotexist.com.
It generates the faces using an algorithm, which
is something I guess they taught after I dropped out of college.
But-- and much like the Kardashian family,
it can generate an infinite number of new people.
It's kind of creepy, because you don't really
know what's real anymore.
You know?
Because I look at those people, and they look just
like all of you.
You look real, and yet I have no idea if you're real.
I'm going to make sure.
I'm going to walk up here and check out--
you're real.
You're real.
You feel real.
You feel-- oh--
you feel real.
Let's see who else feels real.
You're laughing like a robot would laugh.
Stand up.
What's your name?
Whitney.
Right.
You got me.
Whitney what?
Bilbao
Uh-huh.
That's a made up name if I've ever--
Bilbao.
How do you spell that?
B-I-L-B-A-O.
Ah.
No.
Prove to me you're real.
Just do something that a real person would do?
I love you, Ellen.
I robot would do that.
I don't think a robot would be like so starstruck right now?
Or shake like this?
All right then, I trust you.
Sit down.
All right.
Oh.
You're very suspicious.
Stand up.
Give me your purse.
Let me see some ID.
OK.
What else is in there?
My cell phone.
Your cell phone?
Let's take a selfie.
[CHEERING]
Let me just turn it back on.
I don't got all day.
OK.
[CHEERING]
Have a seat.
Thank you.
You're real.
OK.
Stand up, sir.
Hi.
What's your name?
My name is Colin Brown.
Hi, Colin.
Hi.
How are you?
Fantastic, how are you?
Good.
OK.
So prove to me that you're a real human.
Yeah, uh-oh.
Well, my mom--
I'm-- I have a mom.
Oh.
I'm his mom.
Did you give birth to him?
Yeah.
You gave birth to him?
How much did he weigh?
Seven pounds.
Seven pounds even?
Nine ounces.
OK, be specific.
Seven pounds, nine ounces.
OK.
Do the dab.
Oh, I saw some--
Yeah.
Horrible.
That's my first dab.
That proves to me that you are a white human being.
Translate this.
Beep bob boop boop beep beep beep.
Boo bip bop.
Beep beep beep beep boop bop bop?
Ba ba ba bop boo.
Op-ee ee bee beep boop boop boop boop.
Wee-ba.
Er.
Boop.
Ooh.
All right.
It's a computer.
It's not real.
All right.
All right, so that's all.
You're all real.