Before I Am
Monte Sahaja, Portugal
[Interviewer:] Who or what am I?
What is my purpose in this life?
How do I find true happiness?
All of us have asked these questions
at some point in our lives.
And many of us are still asking.
Today on A Million Ways to Live, we're journeying
deep into the mountains of southern Portugal to Monte Sahaja,
where Sri Mooji provides clarity
on life's most important issues
and shows us the path to inner peace.
MILLION WAYS TO LIVE
Luke Sniewski Claire Robbie
REST AND RELAXATION LIFELONG LEARNING
COMMUNITY REAL FOOD
LOVE
[Mooji:] We live primarily in the notion of
merely being our body-mind and conditioning.
That is not our true self.
It is a limited portrait of our completeness.
We don't get it right at this level.
And I think that it is good that we don't get it right at this level.
Because our failure at this level
to find that complete state
stimulates an urge to go more deeply into
exploring into our nature.
If our projections,
our idea of who we are
in this limited portrait
was true,
we would not grow.
So the deeper
question and quest would be
a real search for completeness,
which you will not find simply by having a healthy body.
It's a good start. It's helpful,
but it is not enough by itself.
It would have to be something internal.
[I:] I may have asked Mooji general questions
but I thought he was talking directly about my life and my experience.
But I'm sure anyone listening would feel the same.
Internal work is tough.
You come face to face
with powerful negative emotions like fear,
sadness, depression and anger
which led me to the question,
Why does personal growth have to sometimes be uncomfortable and painful?
[M:] Pain and the suffering
are essential components in life.
They have to be there
because they
generate and promote
evolution and maturity.
Pleasure by itself does not promote introspection.
So often, difficult, challenging situations and so on,
they trigger more
reflective and meditative
qualities within ourself.
[I:] No one wants to feel bad.
And it's human nature to want to feel better or feel good.
So we create our lives around chasing the good and avoiding the bad.
Negative emotions are not easy feelings to sit with.
Especially when you are in the moment feeling them.
I asked Mooji what a person can do
when they feel these intense sensations
and clearly the instinct is to run the other direction.
[M:] The healthiest way I can tell you
is to become silent and empty.
It's not immediately appealing to the mind
because we are sort of used to go
and to get tools to fix things.
Because our outer
coaching and conditioning
does not put much value
on say, meditation or on stillness.
We put a lot of value on time and money.
But on silence
and peace and emptiness,
we rarely talk about that.
We even are a little bit scared about it.
Even uncomfortable about it.
And yet, you have to go to this place of total emptiness.
You can say, 'Thank God for sleep', because life makes sure
God gives you that opportunity for eight hours,
almost as full as your waking hours,
to be completely nobody and to be completely empty of intention,
of identity, of activity.
And we don't go into that state screaming,
'Oh please, don't let me go there!'
No, we totally love it.
We buy the best bed
to ensure that we can forget about everything!
[I:] When you clear the mind and find stillness,
you begin to lead a life that is less reactive and angry
and more tolerant and patient.
Not just for yourself, but for everyone around you.
Your entire world transforms
and you find the harmony that all of us are seeking.
[M:] Our urge is for lasting happiness,
for peace, for harmony actually.
But not being aware of that consciously,
we go about it in search of this
through relationships, through sport,
through so many different activities.
And we have to go through them.
And then eventually to discard them, to say,
'Well, it's not that. It's not lasting.'
If your seeking is earnest, life brings it to you.
Life arranges it for you
that you will come to the next opportunity
and it will be introduced to you consciously.
I want to show you a simple way
to get back in harmony with yourself.
Just sit quietly for a little bit
and just feel the sense of Beingness.
Just the sense 'I' or 'I am'.
Once you are aware of how simple it is,
just the feeling of being.
If you had nothing to do, nothing to become,
nothing to change, nothing to fix, nothing at all!
That simple empty space. Just be there.
In the beginning, it might become very difficult, might feel very difficult to do.
But persist. And gradually, you'll be able to stay
even though thoughts and noise come and say,
'Oh my God. There is even more noise
than before is coming.' But don't give up.
And after a short time you will discover something
very, very beautiful.
You are going to discover a silence in yourself, peace.
The feeling of 'Am'-ness
is the most powerful discovery
in the human kingdom.
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