Principal Steven, your 4 o’clock is here.
Great. Send them in.
Hi, I’m Tammy!
Pardon my look. I chased what I thought was my neighbor’s missing hamster
through a construction zone and wound up ankle-deep in wet cement.
It took an industrial pile driver and two dozen jackhammer’s to chisel me out.
And after all that, it wasn’t even a hamster! It was a squirrel!
TMI, Tammy!
I call you and your mother here to discuss some reports I’ve gotten from your
- teachers. - Oh, she’s just pulling her Carl around.
- You mean her car? - No, her Carl.
My Uncle Carl lost a bet when they were kids. And now he has to give her
piggy back rides wherever she goes!
That’s… a lot of information!
Sorry, I’m late!
[laughing]
Thanks Carl. Go ahead and park yourself out front.
[laughing]
- Hi, I’m Tammy! - Hi, Tammy!
- Hi, Tammy. - I’m Tammy!
Wait, you’re both named Tammy?
Well, technically, Tammy’s my middle name. My first name is…
[screaming]
My mom saw a really big spider when she was filling out my birth certificate.
[laughing]
- Got it. - Okay.
Well, take a seat.
Oh, I’ll stand. I mistook maple syrup for laundry detergent.
Now my pants are sticking to everything I touch.
[laughing]
Pretty sure the neighbor’s hamster is stuck to my butt. Is it?
- Is it there? - Biscuit! Oh there you are!
Okay. Let’s jump in. I’m afraid Tammy’s teachers have complained that her…
- over sharing is disturbing class. - Oh you want disturbing?
You should see her giant neck hair. It’s over a foot long and it won’t pluck!
Go on, give her a tug!
[laughing]
It won’t hurt. If I pull it taunt, I can even play it like a fiddle.
Do the one we practiced.
[laughing]
[music]
Wow! Oh! Yeah, that is…
[music]
disturbing.
Thank you. Earned me last place at the Spring Talent show.
Let’s focus.
Tammy’s behavior is making it difficult for her classmates to learn.
If they need a tutor, Tammy’s a great teacher.
She taught me about self-hypnosis. Now I can fall asleep at the snap of a…
[snoring]
- Tammy, wake your mother up, please! - Haven’t taught her that yet.
- I can make her cluck like a chicken. - Why on Earth would I want that?
When I clap my hands, you will begin clucking like a chicken.
[gasping]
Sorry, what did I miss?
Oh, I tried to get you to cluck like a chicken. But it did…
[clucking]
What is happening?!
[clucking]
Tammy! Why am I clucking like a…
[clucking]
Stupid chicken!
Chickens aren’t stupid, Mr. S. In fact, we had a pet chicken when I was growing up.
Not a live chicken. But a piece of fried chicken that I kept on a little leash
and took for walks around the neighborhood.
We named him Crispy.
[clucking]
Make it stop!
[clucking]
Thank you.
Now.
If you could both please… please! Restrain yourselves.
I would like to read some comments I’ve gotten from some of Tammy’s teachers.
- Talks too much in class. - I have an 11th toe. It’s on my elbow!
[laughing]
A constant distraction.
I once farted so loud, I travelled 2 minutes back in time!
Does not focus on the lesson!
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, my reflection is a guy names Burt.
[laughing]
Enough! I have had it with you two! I’ve tried to be patient!
But I’m afraid you’ve left me no choice!
- Uh oh. Principal Steven? - No! No! No! I don’t want to hear it!
I simply cannot deal with anymore of your…
[farting]
Hi! Sorry, I’m late!
[laughing]
Thanks Carl. Go ahead and park yourself out front.
[laughing]
- Hi, I’m Tammy! - Hi, Tammy!
Hi, Tammy.
Did she just fart us back in time?
I’m Tammy!
[screaming]
[applauding]