whats the point of spending this money if you're not gonna use it
you fucking dickhead
hilarious, well done sir. Australian of the year goes to that man.
g'day ladies and gentlemen, the buttsmarn here. now lets have a look
at ten things you should never say to the true blue aussie
but before we do that, we have a sponsor
to this video, it's me i'm sponsoring my own fucking video. that's how good I am
ladies and gentlemen, Melbourne and Sydney
i'm coming your way in a couple weeks time
the Melbourne comedy festival and Sydney i'm filming a special
right there on the 1st of February
this fucking week when this is being released holy shit
get your ticket down below cause it's gonna fucking insane
number 1, don't you ever fucking tell me to throw a shrimp on a barbie dickhead.
if you think Australian ran around throwing bloody Bubba Gump shrimp
on the bbq at the back while they enjoy a couple of beers
you are a complete fucking idiot
once you spend anytime down under you'll learn quick
bloody smart that shrimp don't fucking exist
no ones ever called shrimp... shrimp
you racist fuck
they're called prawns you dickhead, now get it right or get fucked.
number 2, a dingo ate my baby
if you think its funny to put on Australian accent and say
"o crikey a dingo ate my baby"
well you're a piece of shit mate because that actually happened
allegedly, that actually happen in the outback
near Alice Springs back in the day
it was a fucking national tragedy you don't see Australians
put on shit on an Americans by saying
"hey, a school shooter shot me recess" we don't do that shit
so don't you fucking do it us cockhead number 3
anything negative about Steve Irwin
you listen here you ignorant
fuckface if you think you're gonna take
his name in vain or use a stingray
in the same sentence as his name well
I've got another thing coming for ya mate I'll tell ya what all the bloody happen as soon as you step foot
in custom in Australia
we'll drop a fucking drop bear on your head
you dickhead and you'll be fucking gone
number 4
anything negative about vegemite
if steve irwin is the god of australia
then vegemite is the food of the god
it has more yeast
than the australian female cricket team
on a tour of bangladesh in the steamin' fucking heat
and that's a lot of yeast ladies and gentlemen let me tell you right now
sure you may have seen some people
eating out of a spoon well let me tell you
this the reason they are repelling in
disgust freaking out about the taste of the vegemite
is because they don't fucking hate it you fucking idiot
you spread it lightly and enjoy the yeasty
i don't know all that type of shit i spoke about it early
with the underpants and stuff
you don't shove it in your mouth like a big old spoon of nutella
you fucking ignorant cocsucker number 5
never ask an australian for a fosters beers
in modern time around the world assuming someone gender
is a very despicable thing to do
but when you come to Australia if you assume
that us australian drink fosters beer
then ladies and gentlemen let me tell you this
right now from one aussie to million of others
that person can fuck right off
no australian has ever touched the fosters in their lives
do you wanna how it taste like well do ya
come here come here
c'mon i'll tell you what it tastes like don't know dickhead
now fuck off we're full 5.5 asking a true blue aussie if they subscribed to this particular
youtube channel because of course everyone subscribe this youtube channel
it's fucking fantastic
i want to reach a million subscribers by my birthday 14 of july get it done right now
number 6 do you ride a kangaroo
every single person across the world
every little foreigner
seems to think that us aussie jump on the back
of marsupials just to get around
out great country listen bitch
we got uber we got cars
we got buses we got jetski we got other shit
why the fuck would we jump on the back of some motherfucking
that just bounces around and it's smaller than average human
it doesn't work mechanically as what i'm saying
the closest we happen to get these beautiful national icons
is when a fucken bullbar hits the mother fucker
because they're too fucking stupid to move
out of the way of a car i mean how fucking dumb can you be
standing there staring at a bloody car how many cars
have you seen you know how your uncle,
your sister, your brother, your father, they
all died on the road on the highway coz they got hit by a fucking big car
here's a hot tip kangaroo-man
don't fucking stand in front of cars you cockhead. Number 7
"ya Australia's nice but i prefer New Zealand."
You fucking what
sure New Zealand's got some amazing features
on there home land
Lord of the Rings ect ect
but let me just explain this to you
really really quickly and quite bluntly
New Zealand is Australia's little brother and
by that I mean every single person in New Zealand
fucks sheep.
Do you want to go to a country where they
sexually attack sheep?
No no one does fuck New Zealand
fuck them to the moon. Number 8, "do your toilets
flush counterclockwise?" Okay
we've heard this a lot, we've seen it on the Simpsons, that apparently in Australia
the toilets flush counter clockwise who
gives a fuck which way your shit spins
before it leaves the toilet and floats out into the ocean.
Who gives a fuck? If you're travelling
across the country for twelve
fifteen, eighteen, twenty four in an aeroplane
and you get to the country just for the sole purpose of doing a big old gurnso
and
and you just wanna see where it goes and how it spins
whether it is in line with the way the clock spins or in reverse, you
are a dead set fucking goose. Alright. Fuck you
goose goose honk honk. Number 9,
Don't try and
use the Aussie slang
don't come up to an Australian and say "g'day
mate" or even come up to an Australian and say
"how are you going, mate?" alright
you don't understand the vernacular here, the vernacular here
works in a very different way okay it's not
"g'day mate" it's g'day mate.
See that? G'day mate nice and quick, g'day mate
"how are you going, mate?" is how ya goin mate?
how ya goin mate? g'day mate, how ya going mate? alright
it's not that fucking hard. And number 10 we are
here, the last thing that you don't want to say to an Australian
is "oh I don't want to go there
it's too dangerous the animals are too dangerous." Bitch
are you serious, sure we've got some dangerous animals
like red backs, funnel webs, taipans, brown snakes
fucking big fuck off emus, cassowaries
apparently they live here as well, never seen one
whatever. Blue ring octopuses, massive fucking crocodiles
huge fucking great white sharks
but at least every dickhead and his dog doesn't have a semi
automatic weapon that can mow down forty fucking people in thirty seconds
so in Australia
basically all you have to do is check your shoes for red backs
and then you don't have to worry about getting shot in the fucking head in the movies
sounds fair. But there is a group of animals
that you need to be aware of if you come here they are
the disgusting, freak like animals
and you know who I'm talking about, I'm talking about
Australian cyclists, and this video caught my eye
this week when this
I don't want to say Australia legend because he is doing something very illegal
very illegal and I don't agree with illegal things so
don't do this at home don't do this on the road but this
was fucking hilarious
whats the point of us spending this money if you're not gonna use it
you fucking dickheads
fuck off fucking idiot use the fucking bike track
you dumb cunt
hilarious, well done sir Australian of the year
goes to that man. Ladies and gentleman be a good motherfucker
peace in the middle east me dick stinks
and ill see you on Monday you good
fucking human beings make sure to subscribe and like the video
and I don't know send me something because it's fucking
hot in here I just ate a spicy meal with jalapenos
and I'm sweating motherfuckers