- Hey.
- Oh Jeezus.
Oh, you scared the sh** outta me.
What? What are you doing here?
- I go where you go.
- And it's 9:30 in the morning how are you so drunk?
- Travel takes a lot outta me.
I gotta unwind.
- So, wait, did you, do you get on a plane too?
Like a, like a mirror plane?
I still don't know how this works.
- Do you know what?
It's best if you don't think too much about it.
- Yeah.
- What are we doing in LA anyway?
- You know, I just thought I'd get some work done, you know?
Escape the cold, maybe audition-
- Whoa.
What's that?
- What?
Oh, um..
- Are you bloated or something?
Most people come to LA to diet but,
and don't take this the wrong way,
you have really let yourself go.
- I don't know how else to take that.
- Oh, are you saving up fat for a BBL?
You know, I've been meaning to tell you the
flat ass is really an eye sore.
Turns off a lot of people.
You don't see it.
I see it.
- I have an ass.
I have an ass, I- no, I.
I've been meaning to tell you that I am pregnant.
(laughing)
- Oh.
What?
- Yeah.
- With a real baby?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's not a big poop?
- It's not a big poop.
(scoffs)
Wait, I-I-I
So, can, um -shh.
- Take your time.
- I've, okay, so you're like a Russian doll.
If, if I were to cut you open, there'd be a smaller one
of you inside?
- A little graphic, but yes.
- Ho- this, this is like Rihanna's,
this is the halftime show all over again.
I feel blindsided.
- I mean, I'll take any comparison to Rihanna.
- How did, how did this happen?
- Well, like phy- physically?
Like my partner and I-
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is, this is too much for me, okay?
Ev- ev-, every, everything's ruined now.
- It's not.
Um, I know it's a lot to take in.
I'm, I'm sorry it's coming out such a surprise.
- It's just like you do these things and do you even think
of me like, how how's this gonna affect me?
- Wow.
- Oh my God.
- I, I, I don't, I don't know.
- Oh my God.
(sighing)
- Okay, okay.
Okay, I'm gonna say something.
Are gonna s- can, look at me for a second.
I'm gonna tell you something and it's very important.
I need you to really hear what I'm about to say, okay?
- Okay.
- You are not ready to be a mom.
- Okay.
- This, I mean, this is the worst thing you could do for
your career.
- Right.
- This is not gonna help your already pathetic physique.
- Yeah.
- Nevermind this, the world is an absolute climate change
shit show and you're bringing a child into this
disaster zone.
- Thank you.
Thank you for outlining every one
of my deepest fears about this process.
- I mean, it's what I do best.
You're welcome.
- Oh my God.
- Well, it's kind of brave.
- Come again?
(burps)
- Well, you know, to (burps) be s- (burps) scared
of all these things to be doing it anyway, I guess.
- Oh.
- You know, it's kind of admirable.
- Yeah?
- I mean, there are people way less qualified
than you who pull it off.
- That's true.
- The bar is low.
- Okay.
- It's not gonna help your non-existent ass.
I-I-I
- That's for sure though.
- I know.
- But it, but it is, it's probably one
of the most important things you could do with your life.
And that's pretty epic.
That's kind of badass.
- Are you gonna cry?
- No, I got something in my eye.
I hope it looks like me.
- I mean, it probably will.
- Auntie Mirror.
I'm gonna teach it the ways of life.
- I hope you don't.
I hope you don't rip all the way to your asshole.
- Good talk.
- Hey, can I name it?
Can you do one thing for me?
Can you do me a solid?
Can I name it?
Oh my god, what is this?
What is this?
I'm not doing that.
I don't, this one's on you.