Hello everyone today is the day we get to learn about a type for I'm so excited
hi everyone welcome back to my channel today we are continuing the series all things India gram
and for those new to my channel I'm Hilary and I identify as a type 9 also known as the peacemaker
alright so let's get to today I have the privilege today of interviewing Bethany welcome to my
channel Bethany yeah I'm excited yeah alright so Bethany tell us a little about yourself okay well
hi my name is Bethany and I have been married to my sweetheart my high school sweetheart for over
eight years and we have one son named Tyler and then another boy on the way yeah and miler is so
cute yes I am obsessed with watching them I he's the baby alright and what is a type 4 well a type
4 is known as the individualist the romantic they are a reflection of God's creativity and depth
after best they are authentic and compassionate and expressive they inspire others to notice deep
meaning and the simplest of things they can have an artistic flair that is expressed through how
they dress and also their decorating style but on the flip side their unredeemed characteristics can
be withdrawn and moody and sometimes depress so Bethany does this ring true in your life yes I
would say so yes and I think what I see in you is I notice like your house and I noticed like
the decor is amazing but to me it seems like like truly your style and what you love is that
do you feel that way we're sure yes yeah you do seem see beauty and everything around you I can
even see it how you style miler you know in like that kind of stuff yeah yeah I definitely agree
like if there's something specifically with like interior design or sense um something
like that if I don't like it even if it is like so fashionable or so inst about like it doesn't
matter doesn't matter doesn't matter at all yeah yeah and if my husband probably gets annoyed with
that but yeah that's really nice ya know I mean I tell definitely noticed it and thought like
that creativity and how you can see see beauty in things and also creating love it okay so the
core fear of a4 is the fear of being an adequate emotionally cut off plane or abandon and then the
core desire is to find themselves and their unique significance and for you what is unique look like
for you or how has it looked like throughout your whole life have you one has that like had meaning
to you where you wanted to be different or yeah definitely um I don't know that I can speak of
any specific examples but I've always wanted to stand out yeah and not necessarily meaning I want
to be the center of attention hmm it's kind of different and I don't know how to explain that
exactly but I want to stand out I don't like being the same as everyone else I like doing something
different you know it sounds very similar to the other force that I know and so we're you
are unique you want to stand out but I understand that part of like you don't want to be the center
of attention right yes all right so this next question is do you feel like you really understand
yourself that is a really hard question because I would say no mm-hmm I'm confident in Who I am but
I feel like I'm constantly trying to figure out who I am yeah do you hold on to your emotions and
constantly playback your thoughts and feelings and and how you yes whatever you said oh good
time yeah okay yeah I had read that about a for how you're constantly wondering if what you said
was good enough or yep they were want wanting or something like that definitely yeah totally
right yeah there's something called a shadow side into for where it's called envy and it's like the
deadly Center before and it's not what you think you're not envious of materialism you're not
envious of people's things but it's you're envious of other people appear to be normal and you feel
like that's something that you're striving for yeah definitely I I feel like and maybe that goes
with being like feeling like you're misunderstood yes and I think that my whole life I've felt a
little bit of that especially know as younger really mmhmm yeah that totally makes sense and
I have heard that from other force to that they feel misunderstood a lot yeah and that and that's
where that that can flare up and that it's called a deadly sin because it's not something that's all
the time but if you let it get out of control yeah then you can start to feel like um why is everyone
else normal yeah and you don't feel itself okay so the wings of a 4 is a four with a three wing and a
four with a five wing what that means is the four with a three wing is called an aristocrat okay
so they tend to be more extroverted competitive outgoing more concerned with their image though
and they can be emotionally volatile and then on the flip side we have a four with a five wing and
that is called a bohemian so the form of the five wing they are more introverted reserved observant
withdrawn and they have great intellectual depth to them so which of these two do you tend to lean
more towards or are you balanced oh definitely wing 525 yes so you probably tend to be more do
research a lot yes 100% Irish everything uh-huh and yummy you can ask my husband like especially
with having miler now my research everything about kid stuff raising kids food anything like that if
it's like interesting yeah right that's what my son says so he's at five and and with you with
that five wing he says if it's interesting to me I research it to death yeah and I enjoy it
you enjoy it yeah yes I have heard that before and then also do you are you able to make a decision
if you're researching um eventually yes but I I need like to know everything mhm yeah and research
everything before I really can make a decision I think yep yep and actually I do remember on your
Facebook or not Facebook but Instagram I don't know I think it was a while back when you would
put out there like okay this rug or this rug or this or this and but it looks to me like you've
researched at a time yes and this is what we're down to yeah and then you're like you could tell
me your opinion I'm probably gonna choose what I want yeah but tell me your opinion but the
opinions do help oh good I think and like feedback because I definitely take it on to consideration
mmm-hmm but even just a rug thing like yeah I research for months months not for months but
for months and months and months and runs yeah on run chicken yeah which is silly but I love that
silly looking at rugs yes exactly and then what I love about that is somebody like me who doesn't um
naturally do that I trust a four or five wing and a five okay I literally trust you guys I I can ask
that question seriously cuz I know if you're gonna give me an answer it's because you've researched
it yeah and you have a really solid solid backing to it's all an opinion about it and so I go to my
son all the time for that and so for you like even when you'd put stuff like there and and
share about you know the decisions and stuff that you're making I was like the whole I kind of like
I kind of want one of those has been that he needs to listen to me question everything no no I'm just
getting love you don't question her she's amazing style too so let's talk about the arrows of a for
a for under stress moves towards the average to unhealthy side of a to and this means that they
suddenly become overly involved and clingy and believe that getting attention from others will
replace their own emptiness and loneliness and when a floor allows the Holy Spirit to enable
them to transform and grow they move towards the healthy side of a type-1 they start to believe
that nothing is missing on them and they realize that they are not their feelings and they become
more disciplined reaching more of their potential so that they can make a difference in the world
do you have any examples of how you've seen the arrow show up in your life I would say probably
through social media getting that attention yeah if I am feeling insecure if I am on that unhealthy
side you know going to social media or as like the way of yeah getting attention from people
and you know building up my self-confidence yeah yeah and when you're allowing the Holy Spirit to
enable you to grow your spinning time with Christ your reading your Bible and he's really putting
things on your heart how does that show up do you does it help you like you know not get so
caught up in your own feelings and then start to believe you know what God says about you versus
what the world says about you yeah definitely hmm and because I'm so emotionally driven mm-hmm when
I am on that healthy side I am able to think more clearly uh-huh and and listen to my brain or the
Holy Spirit and rather than my emotion yes I will say that a for for me is extremely important my
life because you're not scared to go deep with me you know when I'm under stress I have anxiety and
panic and like I have very unhealthy thoughts of like oh my gosh if I fly here then what if
something happens to me and you know but I can go to a friend that's a four and you're not afraid
to talk to me about that deep subject I'm not afraid to go really deep and experience it and
and really bring me back up and so to me that's like one of the best gifts that afford brings
to let's see okay well at least for me I think that we enjoy that - yes feels like it feels
like we're helping someone and you want to be like you know that significance in someone's life yeah
absolutely and you're not afraid mm-hmm here we go no I'm not afraid you're literally not afraid
of any of your emotions no which is I'm afraid of all the time so that's where I'm like drawing you
do and I'm scared about that's all right so let's have a little fun here okay I'm gonna say like a
statement and of what it's like to be a four and just answer yes or no or whatever comes to mind
okay okay so the first day bit is I'm not like everyone else yes yes you know because it's like
I you know they're like I want to be like everyone else right right melancholy is comfortable for me
so it's annoying when people try and cheer me up yes yes yes for sure if you're in your emotions
and then someone's like come on let's go yeah be happy yes okay another one is some people think
I'm aloof but I'm really just unique yes I'm okay with sad songs and stories and sad movies overly
happy people give me a headache yes am i giving you a headache no I think if it's if it's real
the real happiness yeah great yeah because fourth are authentic yeah yep yeah when it seems fake or
forced yeah no and you pick up on it right away pretty much um in social situations I tend to hang
back and wait for others to approach me yes mm-hmm I can easily sense the feelings of others and
support them emotionally mm-hmm for sure okay so a type for is called the trust friend which means
you are comfortable in a safe space for them your friends can be their true selves with you and it
doesn't affect how you love them or how you feel about them what does it look like to be what are
you looking for in a friend I think someone that can open up that is able to go deep and that is
authentic and real and doesn't hide their feelings yep for sure that's what I look for in a friend
yeah all right so we made it to the last question yay how was the new drug helped you I for sure
number one think it has helped me feel like I'm normal yeah no way yeah because I'm like oh this
is how I feel when I was listening to a podcast about the immigrant for or reading about it like
yes so other people feel this way too or yeah that makes total sense er I feel like this is the first
time I've actually been able to hear like who I really am like it makes sense to me and be able
to articulate it I've never heard you know someone articulate my personality so well so that was good
but then secondly with my husband figuring out how we work together yep and seeing things of why
he makes certain decisions in certain ways or why he does things the way he does versus me so I can
understand him more and it's definitely helped even though it can be frustrating because we're
total opposite yeah um I think that it's giving me more of an understanding and a grace mm-hmm for
him and vice versa mm-hmm which is so true same for me it gave me such a grace for other people
and understanding that all nine types make up the body of Christ yeah and we're all important and
so it gives us such a love for everybody I love it yeah perfect all right well that's it for now
thank you so much Bethany this has been so much fun thank you and I I appreciate you having me
so thank you so much oh I was so excited to have you on not only to get to know you a little better
but to just get to see I just have a little more insight in you and a type for and I don't know
and just it's been very insightful for me and I am a Grimm coach yeah so just learning about
you actually helps me so thank you so much all right guys we're done I hope you liked the video
and if you are a four I hope you gained some more awareness into yourself and if you know 4 I hope
it gave you a little more insight into who God has made them to be and it helps you love them even
greater so please remember to like this video by clicking the thumbs up and if you want yay thumbs
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me your Enneagram number that's all for now bye guys we play by your thought the eristic and the
Bohemia no so dumb and I will cut out every awesome it's so annoying to me he's dang it