No, I don't want to do this one.
Me in 30 years.
[GASPS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Ellen's Booth of Internet Wonders.
Love that.
OK, here we go.
Old photo.
[DING]
Bro, you're about to be the bachelor in about 14 years,
so buckle up.
Adventure calls.
[DING]
Aw, that's me.
I would tell that girl that she is enough
and that she's worthy.
[DING]
You will gain some confidence, young man, eventually.
And you'll never wear a white suit ever again.
[DING]
Why can't I look like that without makeup now?
I was so pretty.
[DING]
Oh, there he is, chubby little Jared.
Don't worry about not having a girlfriend right now.
You're going to be just fine.
You're going to have a jaw line.
It's going to all work out, kid.
[DING]
[LAUGHS] Slugger.
You're not an athlete.
Get braces.
Me in 30 years.
[DING]
30 years?
Yeah.
I need to work on my skin routine.
[DING]
I need to get a stash, though.
I need to get my dad stash going,
because it's pretty suss right there, not going to lie.
[DING]
That's really sad.
But I still got my lashes.
[DING]
I need to start doing Botox.
That's what Cass is going to do to me in 30 years?
[DING]
Huh.
She's so cute.
That's a grandma that can get it.
[DING]
Well, I'm thinking I clearly didn't age like fine wine,
drank way too much wine with Kaitlyn.
It's going to be a tough go.
Kaitlyn, would you still stick with me?
[DING]
Still got it.
[DING]
Oh, my god.
[DING]
Ooh, I better lotion up.
That does not look good-- some of those wrinkles.
Meme Of Me.
[DING]
[SIGHS] I told Cary, who was the stylist on the show.
That was his idea.
I was like, I don't feel like this is the move.
He's like, no, it's in.
I'm like, OK.
[DING]
After a guy watches you eat Chipotle.
I was freaked out that I had freaked Chris Soules out
about being a virgin.
But it works with Chipotle, too.
[DING]
[LAUGHS] That's really funny, guys.
That's really funny.
I know.
I'm a-- I look like a baby.
Yup.
I'll do the Do You Remember Tweeting this?
[DING]
"Can I just marry a surfer."
Oh, my gosh.
[DING]
"Skittles taste like the rainbow."
Skittles ended up sending me a bunch of Skittles,
so that was nice.
[DING]
I mean, yeah, I remember tweeting that.
Did you know that I took the epic picture
of Kevin Jonas in the yellow sweater
at the Easter Egg Roll in 2008 going like this?
[DING]
Tweets are pretty much forever.
So yeah, be careful, because you never know what will come back
and bite you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]