Welcome to the Ellen Show.
Your one stop shop for all your Ellen needs.
Can you believe it's already June?
[APPLAUSE]
Yeah.
I can see it in your eyes.
Some of you can't.
[LAUGHTER]
Summer may be just around the corner,
but this brain never stops working.
Unless I'm drunk.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm kidding.
That's when I do my best.
[LAUGHTER]
Over the past 16 seasons, I have come up
with a lot of good ideas, some of them good-er than others,
and today I want to show you my top four
inventions that I can't believe haven't caught on yet.
What happens when you combine sexiness of lingerie
with the comfort of a snuggie?
This is back in season 8 I came up with this.
[APPLAUSE]
Know what I call this?
Loungerie.
[LAUGHTER] This is wonderful.
I've never felt more beautiful.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, remember how I said it was June?
That means a lot of people are planning
trips for the summer vacation.
Airline tickets are expensive, but back in season 10
I came up with a perfect solution.
It's very expensive to fly.
Seriously is, and babies fly for free.
You know that, right?
So it gave me an idea.
And you know those baby bjorns that you always see parents--
so I asked Andy and Layla who runs our Ellen shop here
to help me out with my version of this.
And I really think it can help.
Come on out you guys.
[LAUGHTER]
So.
[APPLAUSE]
It's great, right?
So it makes your spouse look like a baby.
They don't need their own ticket.
The one thing.
It's great with your spouse.
A little awkward if you're traveling with your grandma.
That's the only--
[LAUGHTER]
Kind of have to really know the person.
[LAUGHTER]
And probably most famous for my Ellen underwear.
Back in season 12 I invented an innovative new bra
called Adjusta-bust.
Enjoy.
Lauren is wearing--
[APPLAUSE]
Lauren is wearing the Adjusta-bust under her sweater.
You can't tell, but--
[LAUGHTER]
Here, let me show you how it works.
Let's say Lauren is speeding.
She gets pulled over, and the officer
is walking up to the car.
You just pump it up.
OK.
All right.
So that when the officer.
[APPLAUSE]
No speeding ticket.
[LAUGHTER]
Now Officer, my eyes are up here.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, and then later in the day.
Lauren's going home, and she's gardening,
but then she gets locked out of her house.
So she has to shimmy through her window.
So then she just does that.
OK.
She just does that.
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
Does that.
[LAUGHTER]
Ah.
That's not the only wearable.
Yeah.
Oh.
You like that one.
[APPLAUSE]
That's your favorite.
You didn't care for the other two.
That's your favorite.
I see that.
That's not the only wearable technology
I've come up with over the years Lauren helped me model.
Back in season 11, I invented an ice dispenser
called mini-freeze.
It's ice, it comes--
just look.
Now the skirt that Lauren was wearing
looks like a regular mini-skirt, but it's not.
It's called the mini-freeze.
Watch what happens when you hit this button.
[APPLAUSE]
It's also an ice dispenser.
[LAUGHTER]
You're not getting this anywhere else in daytime.
[LAUGHTER]
Three more seasons of that, everybody.
[APPLAUSE]