>> WHY, THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME, LARRY.
>> Larry: OKAY.
YOU ARE WELCOME, BEECHUM.
SO WHY DOESN'T MISSISSIPPI WANT GAY COUPLES TO ADOPT?
>> LARRY, MISSISSIPPI ISN'T ANTI-GAY.
IT'S SIMPLY PRO-YESTERDAY.
>> Larry: PRO-YESTERDAY? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> LOOK, LARRY.
MISSISSIPPI IS JUST TRYING TO REBRAND ITSELF FROM THE
HOSPITALITY STATE TO THE NOSTALGIA STATE.
>> Larry: THE NOSTALGIA STATE?
>> THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE WE WANT TO BE THE ONE PLACE IN AMERICA
WHERE THE GOOD OLD DAYS OF THE 1950'S NEVER ENDED.
WHERE YOUR BIGGEST CONCERN ISN'T GLOBAL WARMING OR ISIS, BUT HOW
MANY PENNY COLAS YOU CAN SNEAK FROM OLD MAN JOHNSON AT THE OLD
FIVE AND DIME, RIGHT? NOW DOESN'T THAT SOUND NICE, LARRY?
>> Larry: WELL, YEAH.
IT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT.
BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BANNING GAY ADOPTION.
>> CALM DOWN.
NOW, LARRY, IF YOU GO BACK FAR ENOUGH, GAY DOESN'T EXIST YET.
>> Larry: WHAT?
>> LARRY, THAT IS SIMPLE SCIENCE.
NOW, LISTEN.
>> Larry: IT IS NOT SCIENCE.
>> SO WE ARE NOT ANTI-GAY.
WE ARE SIMPLY PRE-GAY.
>> Larry: WAIT.
DID YOU SAY PRE-GAY?
>> THAT'S RIGHT, LARRY.
AFTER ALL, IT'S ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE.
>> Larry: OKAY.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
LOOK, FIRST OF ALL, GAY PEOPLE EXISTED IN THE 1950'S.
WHAT ABOUT ROCK HUDSON?
>> YOU TAKE THAT BACK, LARRY!
>> Larry: WHY? WHY SHOULD I TAKE IT BACK.
>> YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT FUTURE ROCK HUDSON.
NOW HERE IN MISSISSIPPI, ROCK HUDSON IS STILL A MAN'S MAN.
>> Larry: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING, HE WAS A MAN'S MAN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> LARRY, DON'T YOU TWIST MY
WORDS WITH YOUR NORTHERN TRICKERY.
>> Larry: IT IS NOT TRICKERY.
>> BESIDES, EVERYBODY KNOWS IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE, NOT CHRISTMAS
STEVE.
>> Larry: CHRISTMAS STEVE? LOOK, THE FIFTIES WERE NOT A
PERFECT TIME FOR ANYONE, ESPECIALLY GAY PEOPLE.
YOU DIDN'T SEE THEM BECAUSE THEY HAD TO STAY IN THE CLOSET.
>> LARRY YOU KNOW WHAT I KEEP IN MY CLOSET? A FISHING POLE.
AND WHAT I DO ON A NICE SUMMER DAY I TAKE IT DOWN TO OLD RAY'S
CRICK AND I PUT SOME TROUT RIGHT THERE IN MY WICKER BASKET.
WHICH REMINDS ME.
IT'S BASKET WEAVE, DON'T BASKET STEVE.
>> Larry: THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL.
>> YOU KNOW, LARRY, IT'S SHREVEPORT, NOT STEVE-PORT.
>> Larry: WITH A WHY ARE YOU O OBSESSED WITH THE NAME STEVE?
I MEAN YOU CAN'T USE EMPTY PLATITUDES TO TRY TO DISPROVE
MEANINGFUL GAY RELATIONSHIPS AND DENY THEM BASIC RIGHTS TO HAVE A
FAMILY.
>> WOW IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE'S GOT A PET STEVE INSTEAD OF A PET
PEEVE.
>> Larry: OKAY.
>> YOU ARE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE.
I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.
>> YVES ST. LAURENT, NOT STEVE ST. LAURENT.
>> Larry: BEECHUM, GRADY, EVERYONE.
>> IT'S TEL AVIV, NOT TELL A STEVE!
>> Larry: WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK!