(pages turning) (sleigh bells ringing)
(men groaning)
- Is it in?
- I don't think it's in yet.
(foreboding drum beats)
- Let's do this.
Remember what we talked about.
You read the book, you have an opinion, and it's valid.
- Okay.
- Don't be nervous! - I'm not!
- We'll come for you later, we'll cuddle.
- (crying) I don't wanna--
- I've got five of my good guys here.
We'll be together soon, okay?
- No, I don't wanna. Where are you going?
- Alright, welcome to our book club meeting!
(applause)
Let's discuss
When Love Dies: How to Save a Hopeless Marriage.
- Oh man, this puppy got me pumped up.
I love the intrigue.
- Nonstop thrilling.
- I thought it should be called
When I Loved This Book, I Loved It.
- Hey, well look at this guy's small hands!
(laughter)
- Hey, what character did you guys most identify with?
- This is a nonfiction book.
- Adam, you're new here,
you're probably gonna be wrong here all the time.
Brian, what character did you identify with the most?
- Train man.
- I don't think there's a train man in there.
- Train man was not in there.
- But there was a part of the,
the nervous part of the book, right?
- Yeah, but that's not really, well yes.
- Yeah, no, train man.
- Train man was my favorite character.
- Train man!
- Actually that is right.
- There was the waterfall we all remember that part,
and then it, when it splits, it's like who was--
- Water, water!
- Train man lying on the ground and he say,
he asked himself, "Is this when love dies?"
- Train man!
- "Not on my watch!"
The book should have been called
The Adventures of Train Man.
That's just bad editing.
- Train man?
Did you guys even read the book?
- What?
- Is this, is this a words?
- Did you guys even read the book?
- What?
Can you, can we even hear what this guy is saying?
It's like this guy is talking into a napkin.
- Let me please clarify Mr. Adam's confusion here
by reading an all-too-relevant excerpt from the book.
I crawled out of bed to check on our small sons,
Matthew and Trevin.
- Trevin?
- Are you right down the hallway at home,
or are you on a play date with train man?
- Train man!
You were right, oh my god.
- Train man.
(Brian claps)
- I'm trying to participate here but that guy's hitting me,
this guy keeps rubbing me.
- Come on, you can't take a slight little roasting?
- I'm excited to find people
that are as passionate about books as I am.
Maybe I just don't understand them the way you guys do.
I'll see you guys later.
- Where are you going?
- Someplace where people read books.
(playful music)
- Brian, read a quote from train man.
(screams)
- Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
(man crying)
You're fine, it's okay, he's just going to the park to play.
(woman crying)
- Dammit, I would like to invite you all
to my child-dog funeral.
He's dead so it should be happening now.
- Lovely sweater.
- Thank you, this one's belongs to me.
(pages turning)
(vigorous classical music)