Challenge time.
Lose five pounds in one hour?
Yep, sweat it away! Come on, then.
No.
Okay, it says here we must not be shot or arrested,
as we drive across the proud state of Alabama.
But we will get bonus points if we can get one of the others shot or arrested.
I don't understand. How do we do that?
You will therefore decorate one another's cars
in such a way to draw maximum attention to yourself
in this Bible-bashing, redneck, deeply Christian part of the Union.
Decorate? I think what it means is, we each have to write slogans
on the other ones' cars. So you...
-To get them killed? -Yeah.
-All right. -So, you do Hammond's.
-Take it away into the bushes. -I'm doing yours. I'm getting you killed.
Well, come on!
The South, the South. It's Christian, short hair.
They don't like communists.
What is closest to their heart?
I've got to get him killed. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'd be letting you down, me down, everybody down.
Revenge for all those height gags. Every time he's called me Hamster.
This is for every time you've been late and lost.
Can you tell what it says yet?
James. I hate you for that. I really hate you for that.
All the times you drove into the back of my Cadillac.
-Yeah. -Do you know, actually, I think,
honestly, we've all done a good job here,
but I do believe that the person most likely to be shot
is indeed Hammond. I think what you've done there, James,
-is killed your friend. -Yeah.
Gingerly, we re-joined the open road.
Three religions down here, George Bush, God, country and Western
in that order.
Ascending order.
I'll be honest, I have felt less conspicuous than this.
Here we are, sweet home Alabama.
They've shot their own sign!
What are they going to do to us?
To understand what Jeremy's actually done to my car,
you have to understand that this is deep Republican territory.
That woman is the arch-Democrat. She is the Antichrist.
It's not just the slogan. It's the fact that it's painted on a pick-up,
a symbol of the South.
I mean...
And then Jeremy has written on the boot: "NASCAR sucks."
That's a type of saloon car racing that is very big in this part of the world.
This is where the drivers come from. All the building of the cars is done.
All the supporters come from here, and to say it sucks...
is a bit like going up and punching somebody's sainted mother.
No! No!
We'd survived the highway, but then we had to pull into a town for fuel.
Oh, this is... really terrifying.
Okay!
Just...
That's diesel.
That's... I've gone...
"Hillary for President," that's not going down well.
This lady was cross, but not as cross as the garage's owner.
You!
Now, are y'all gay looking to see how long it takes to get beat up in a hick town?
I'm not gay. I'm married. I've got three children.
No, we're not. No.
We've just sort of decorated our cars in a distinctive manner.
"NASCAR sucks. Country and western is rubbish"?
Guess what, you're in a hick town, man!
-We're going to die now. That's it. -Don't you dare! [bleep]
She said she was going to get the boys.
I'm gone!
So, we decided to scarper.
I've just remembered, I've actually got loads of petrol.
And then, of all the moments...
-Oi, jump leads! -You're joking?
-Jump leads. -Not now!
This is going to be the quickest jump in history.
You get the leads. I'll start it.
Tell your friend if he tears up my parking lot again...
The rednecks arrived.
We've just got a slight problem here.
[bleep]
This is bad!
Then they turned on the film crews!
-[bleep] -Hey!
Quick!
Rocks started pelting our vans.
Go! Get out of here!
What's happening?
[bleep]
For the next few moments, our TV programme became a radio show.
Oh... [bleep] There are the pick-up trucks.
Get your foot down. I think we've got a load of them on our tail.
Something's going on here, I'm telling you.
These three trucks that were in the petrol station have now just torn past us.
We need to get these slogans off, lads.
Pull over, pull over.
Get the other side.
Got nothing to wipe it off with now.
With the artwork gone, we hit the road... hard.
I'm doing something I never thought I'd do.
I am running for the border.
God in heaven, that was actually frightening.
They could have killed us!
They really do have an irony deficiency.
I honestly believe that in certain parts of America now,
people have started to mate with vegetables.