[David A.] This is a story that unites each of us with every animal on the planet. [Adam] We all take shits.
[Mark] Everyone poops. [Adam] Fuck you. Ah! That was weird. Ah! Glitching out.
[D.A.] Waiting for this year's youngsters to emerge and start exploring their world. [Mark] I'm hungry.
[Adam] Here they come. Snack! [Mark] David Attenborough bites his head clean off.
[Adam] My favorite treat. [Mark] They just walk right into your mouth.
[Adam] He's like, so high. [Mark] He's either high or just drooling.
He's just like "eh, the meerkats have now accepted me has their king".
[Adam] Disgusting.
[D.A.] Now, the immediate danger is from each other. [Mark] My brothers and sisters are looking pretty yummy!
[Adam] Starting to look really tasty there, Joe.
[Mark] Let me get a bite of that booty.
[Adam] Scary. [Mark] Hello, nightmare fuel.
[Adam] Daddy. [Mark] I love you, father. Lets reconnect.
[Adam] Oh, dad, no! [Mark] Give me a kiss. Kisses all over your body.
I don't know which is worse, us or them.
[Adam] Poop out some birds. [Mark] Oh, gross. They're growing out of the...
[Adam] I just ate one. [Mark] I poop my own food. It's amazing.
This is the most self sustaining creature on planet Earth.
[Adam] Well, see ya down there. I hope you sprout some wings really quick.
[Mark] Oh, they got their little baby chicken wings. [Adam] Mommy...
Noooo. [Mark] Oh my god....
[Adam] I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky.
[Mark] So bad...
Think about it every night... [Mark] Oh my god! Oh, fuck!
[Adam] ...and day. Spread my wings and fly away.
[Mark] Oh, oh my god, Ducky! [Adam] Oh, Geronimo! Oh fuck.
[Mark] Oh my god! [Adam] This sucks...
[Mark] Yeah. [Adam] David Attenborough is just waiting at the bottom with like, salt and pepper.
[Mark] Baby chick, noo... Its so fucking cute but so tragic. [Adam] Such is life.
This are asshole birds.
[Mark] U wot?
[Adam] Mom? [Mark] Why did you let me jump? [Adam] Terrible parents.
[D.A.] A lone cub has, on average, only a 1 in 5 chance of surviving. [Adam] That sucks!
So, the only one they showed was Simba and there we like 4 other kids that died.
[Mark] No! [Adam] Yeah, boy. Snoop Dog.
[Mark] That c-dog is looking at dank OG Kush.
[Adam] Fuck! [Mark] Fuck! They're just mermaid dogs. That's what I love about them.
[Adam] Mermaid dogs? [Mark] That's what they are. I want me a mermaid doggy.
[Adam] Not really mermaids, they're just kinda like dogs anyway. [Mark] Yes.
[Adam] Wow. Yeah. [Mark] It's puppy land. [Adam] They're all shitting in there, too.
[Mark] Spring Break! [Adam] Spriing Breaak! Foreever!
[Mark] Spriiing Breaaak... [Adam] Spring Break.
[Mark] Spriiing Breaaak... Foreeever... [Adam] Foreeever...
[Mark] I wanna dive in the puppy pool. [Adam] I wanna swim in the meat pooly.
[Mark] Fuck out of here! [Adam] I love mustaches.
[Mark] Go! Fuck out! [Adam] Fuck you.
[D.A.] The pups, born two months ago, are growing well. [Mark] There's only twelve left and I'm still hungry.
Oh, fuck! [Adam] Oh.
[Mark] Oh, oh my god! Nooo... [Adam] Fuck. [Mark] This is so bad! Ahh... Fuck!
This little guy hasn't played Dark Souls. You gotta strafe around and hit him in the butt.
[Adam] Hey, what are you doing? [Mark] Imagine if this is what god looked like.
[Adam] Oh, god... [Mark] Now the bible makes sense, if you think about it, when it was written by a rat.
[Mark] Oh! [Adam] Oh! Shake that booty, yeah.
If you guys don't wanna come, I'll just hang out here by myself, you fucking losers. [Mark] Bunch of squares.
[Adam] Ahh! [Mark] Ohh! Oh my god! [Adam] Well.
[Mark] Nope. [Adam] They didn't like him anyway.
Ow, ow, ow. Oh, oh, oh! [Mark] They actually don't act anything like sharks in Sharknado.
[Adam] I though Sharknados were a really thing. [Mark] Oh, no, Adam. Oh Jesus. Hey guys, they found the first fish casualty of the day.
[Adam] That was really bad aim. You had one job. [Mark] I'll tickle you. I'll tickle you.
[Adam] Oh. Well, still ok. [Mark] Ah, fuuuck! [Adam] Why didn't he do that before?
[Mark] Yeah! [Adam] Now the shark jumps out of the water and eats it. That'd be great, actually.
[Mark] The blood of the innocent keeps me immortal.