You can’t play that at a funeral...
That’s a funeral, you know why?
Go on.
What can you do something off of this?
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. Time out, time out.
Ha, let me just get the hair out of my face.
Let’s give her a round of applause. Good vibes, please!
Hello and welcome to The Culture Capsule.
I'm your host, KG. Welcome to The Culture Capsule.
I'm your artificial intelligence D Double E -
Big man! I was fully gonna introduce you myself
make it more profesh and ting,
but since you wanna rush me, I’ll do it now.
Our in house artificial intelligence system is voiced
by none other than grime legend D Double E.
Think of him as our Alexa,
there to jump in with important facts.
Today, I'm joined by a rapper and somgwriter, Miss Banks,
actor and comedianne Thanyia Moore,
and one of the godfathers of the UK comedy ting, Arnold Jorge.
Three classic albums.
Which one will be serenading the future black generations?
It’s the music episode. BLUKU, BLUKU!
Let's get it going.
Why have you chosen Janet Jackson, bro?
Listen, I’m gonna be very very real.
[Yes] This is Janet Jackson.
[Ok] Big, big Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson’s sister but hasn’t come off
Michael Jackson’s back, done her own ting.
Very good start -
I’m not gonna lie, it’s a strong start, I feel like
like I need to go to Mariah Carey right now.
You came with 'Music Box',
why this album? When you think
of Mariah Carey you think of the original diva.
You think of number ones, you think of Christmas. [Mm]
Just an Aries queen, like myself.
[OK] I have to choose her and this album. These, these are strong statements -
And now I 'm coming to you -
They’re not, let me tell you why they’re not strong statements -
[OK, Whitney] I'm going to cut you. I'm going to cut you. [Cut me!]
They're not strong statements. Go ahead. Why?
Let me tell you a strong statement.
'Whitney Houston' is the name of the album, not 'Music Box', not 'Control', not
'Let's find another reason to not focus on your vocals.'
Just Whitney Houston.
To think of a natural face, not hair in your face.
Not covering, covering.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Round one: The debate.
Now, you guys, I just want you to argue why your album belongs
in this capsule here. Without you arguing this point, it doesn't get in. Talk to me.
Why should it be in there?
Mariah's got hits.
Do you know the tunes us on this, on this on this album here?
Do you know the tunes that's on this album. YEAH!
Don’t try me bruv. 'Hero' is a big boy tune.
Yeah other than 'Hero', other than 'Hero'. Um... [EVERYONE LAUGHING]
When you listen to the lyrics
when you listen to songs, each of her titles mean something.
OK, 'Let's wait a while'.
She’s telling the man, "yo", you know, you know what women on now.
She used to tell them back in the day, "What have you done for me lately?"
She's saying, "What have you done for me lately?"
That's what - she even claps. [CROSS SPEAK]
Because she said to herself, "I got it on my own baby boy".
1986 big man. [CROSS SPEAK]
Because she's asking a man, "What have you done for me lately? "
This lady has got hits, let’s let the music talk, she’d even
[Yeah] when we’re talking about covers,
all this stuff, she didn't
even have to do much, see how she’s just there looking sultry, just chillin’.
What we gotta do right now is each album should meet these three criteria:
[OK] Can we play them?
At a Christening? [Yep.] A wedding? [Yep.]
And a funeral. [Yes.] Yeah?
That's the Holy Trinity of black gatherings, yeah?
Three bangers: 'Hero'
[Yeah] 'Anytime You Need a Friend', [Yeah] 'Live Without You'.
[And it can go-] Anytime, anywhere.
But I don't even need three tracks. I just need one.
Go on. 'Greatest Love of All'.
Wedding? 'Greatest Love of All'. Christening?
'Greatest Love of All'. Funeral? 'Greatest Love of All'. [Wow]
I don’t know you know, you called me
here to be a contestant
but I just feel like you called me here to be great, I don’t know what happened.
Listen, I can already tell you the, the pattern.
Wedding, yeah?
'Let's wait a while'. She's talking about
"Let’s chill before we get the nasty, let’s actually talk."
That’s a wedding type of ting, put a -
Don’t interrupt, let me, let me show, yeah?
That’s the wedding song. [Mm mm]
'Wait a while', yeah?
'What have you done for me lately?' You can’t play that at a funeral.
That’s a funeral, you know why?
Go on.
Beacuse what can you do for me off of this?
No, no, no, no, no, Time out. Time out.
No, no, no, no, no. [CROSS SPEAK] Time out!
Do you know what? I, as, Janet Jackson -
What have you done for me lately?
If you play that at my funeral, I will rise from the dead that night.
That's what I do for you lately. Oh my god.
It's time. Yeah.
We can't carry on. 'Control'? Nah.
Yeah, Janet Jackson I’m, I’m sorry that he didn’t
have the argument for you.
You just written off my ting like that?
It’s gone, it’s gone.
You’re out of control, bro.
I’m sorry. Don’t worry,
you can still help me with the other rounds, yeah?
You’ll help me judge these other things,
but don’t do it with bad vibes. Pure hearted. Pure hearted judging.
Round two, one of the most epic mic battles known to man.
Think Lord of the Mic but with miming, mad ting.
The lovely Ms Banks, you lot, round of applause please, good vibes, good vibes.
Yes runner up.
But don't let anyone Tear them away, hey yeah
Just hold on
There will be tomorrow
And in time you'll find the way
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
That was levels. That was levels. [CROSS SPEAKING]
That was levels.
It was for sure.
Well...
Thanyia Moore.
Ha, let me just get the hair out of my face. [EVERYONE LAUGHS]
Let’s give her a round of applause, good vibes please. [APPLAUSE]
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all
That was a madness.
You guys did that.
But I need to hear from D Double to just make sure. I want to hear what he's saying.
Who should win this one.
D Double!
Told you already my G. I’m just the artificial intelligence.
You make the decisions.
That's a tough one.
I'm not going to lie. It's tough.
She Drake's man up. So it's tough. You know, I'm saying.
What would you do? You. I was in a headlock bruddah.
At this point, you know.
You know what to think. What goes into the capsule?
I'm sorry to say it.
The person that goes to the capsule. Whitney Houston. Oh, my God. No way.
[CROSS SPEAK]
It was a strong performance.
You delivered. She has to serenade the future black generation.
Congratulations. Thanks, babes.
And it's because your nails are done. Anyway.
So what we're gonna do. Can we put this?
Can you put your - it's going into the cpasule.
This is amazing.
I'll see you in the future, babes.
Alright so listen, all I'm going to say yeah, is...
Bun the pagans, bun the vultures.
This is the capsule for all the culture.
INSIDE!
That’s gonna, you’re gonna join uh...
'Control' under there because 'Control' is in there as well.
That’s why it’s not here.
No, 'Control’ is in the bin, babe.
Opening capsule.
Smoke and everything?
This is so crazy.
Bun the pagans, bun the vultures.
This is the capsule for all the culture.
And that's it for this episode. A big shout out to our amazing guests.
They smashed it so clean, but it's still dirt-t-t-t-y
Join us next time.
I'll be joined by more celebrity guests to decide another artefact to go into
The Culture Capsule.