Here are seven life lessons I learned from Stoic philosophy, in the form of a letter
to myself.
(1) Wisdom is realizing what you can and can’t control.
In the past, when you’ve tried to get into better shape, you found that focusing on the
things you couldn’t control—such as your cravings for food, your body fat percentage,
or your weight—led to zero progress.
Instead, it often led to feelings of shame and guilt.
But when you focused on the things you could control—such as finding fun workouts, moving
each day, and looking for new, healthy, and satisfying foods to eat—you made better
progress on your health.
Everything in life falls into one of two categories: things you can control and things you can’t.
When you focus on the things you can control, you actively shape your future, but when you
focus on the things you can’t control, you are imprisoned by your past.
(2) Your emotions depend on your expectations.
Let’s say you’re expecting to get a D on a test.
If you get a C, you’re gonna be happy because your reality is greater than your expectation.
If you get an F, you’re gonna be sad because your reality falls short of your expectation.
But if you’re expecting to get a B on that same test, now a C will make you sad, and
only an A will make you really happy.
Your emotions equal your reality minus your expectations.
(Emotion = reality - expectation).
(3) Right perception leads to right action.
If I told you a million dollars were buried in your backyard, you’d go out there and
start digging right now, and you wouldn’t stop until you found it.
Your actions arise from your perception of the world.
So right perception leads to right action.
(4) Your relationships will make or break your life.
In the light of recent worldwide events, this lesson is easier to understand than ever before.
The line that separates your health from someone else’s health is very thin, perhaps nonexistent
in the long run.
You depend on the tree for your oxygen, the farmer for your food, and the builders for
your home.
And all of these entities depend on you too.
If you drag people down to climb higher, the people around you will learn to do the same.
And soon, you will be surrounded by people who do nothing but pull each other down.
But if you lift people up with you, the people around you will learn to do the same, and
soon, you will be surrounded by people who always lift each other up.
In reality, all things are in relationship, directly or indirectly, and the quality of
your life is inseparable from the quality of your relationships.
(5) Being attached to what other people think of you will rob you of your potential.
I made a full video on this topic which you can check out by clicking the link in the
top right of this video or using the link in the description below.
But basically, the most valuable thing you can do is be yourself.
Like a tree, you don’t need to do anything but be yourself—you don’t need to do anything
but truly thrive—to be of use to the world.
But if you’re attached to what other people think of you, you’ll be what they want you
to be rather than being yourself, and by abandoning yourself, you abandon your full potential.
(6) Your values determine whether your internal life is peaceful or stressful.
If you value money but don’t have any, you’ll spend your life in a stressful chase to get
it.
But if you value the process of creating useful things instead, you’ll spend your life in
peace.
And you’ll spend your life in peace because you can create something useful at any time.
Nothing is stopping you.
You already own the thing you value: your own action.
If you value something that you don’t currently have, your life is full of stress until you
get it.
But if you value something you currently have, your internal life is peaceful.
(7) The most valuable things are available in the present.
What’s more valuable than knowledge?
Isn’t it the quality that leads to knowledge in the first place?
Let’s call it curiosity.
What’s more valuable than a strong body?
Isn’t it the quality that leads to strength?
Let’s call it determination.
And isn’t the quality that leads to money more valuable than money itself?
Let’s call it usefulness.
You acquire knowledge, a strong body, and money through time, but the qualities that
will lead you to these rewards, which are more important, require no time to achieve.
Curiosity, determination, and usefulness are available now.
What is acquired through time can be taken away through time, but what can be achieved
instantly can never be taken away.
If you have the right qualities, you will never lose your way.
And if your compass is oriented properly, you’ll always find your treasure.
Whatever is most valuable, whatever is the thing from which all good things come, whether
it’s virtue, truth, justice, love, or some other name, it’s available in the present.
It’s available in every moment.
It requires no time to acquire, or achieve, or act upon.
It requires no learning, no money, no status, nothing special.
It can be achieved right here, right now.
And if
you really want it, you’ll find it.