Augustus!
Augustus, this way!
I'm eating the Wonka bar and I taste something...
...that is not chocolate,
or coconut,
or walnut,
or peanut butter,
or nougat,
or butter brittle, or caramel, or sprinkles,
so I look and I find the Golden Ticket.
Augustus, how did you celebrate?
I eat more candy.
We knew Augustus would find the Golden Ticket.
He eats so many candy bars a day that it was not possible for him not to find one.
Veruca, can you spell that for us please?
V, e, r, u, c, a, Veruca Salt.
As soon as my little Veruca told me she had to have one of these Golden Tickets,
I started buying up all the Wonka bars I could lay my hands on.
Thousands of them, hundreds of thousands.
I'm in the nut business, you see, so I say to my workers-
Morning, ladies. From now on you can stop shelling peanuts...
...and start shelling the wrappers off these chocolate bars instead.
Few days went by and we had no luck.
It was terrible.
My little Veruca got more and more upset each day.
Where's my Golden Ticket? I want my Golden Ticket!
Well, gentlemen, I just hated to see my little girl feeling unhappy like that.
I vowed I would keep up the search until I could get her what she wanted.
And finally, I found her a ticket.
Daddy, I want another pony.
These are just some of the 263 trophies and medals my Violet has won.
I'm a gum chewer, mostly.
But when I heard about these ticket things, I lied off the gum, switched to candy bars.
She's just a driven young woman.
I don't know where she gets it.
I'm the Junior World Champion Gumchewer.
This piece of gum, I'm chewing right at this moment,
I've been working on for three months solid.
That's a record.
Of course I did have my share of trophies,
mostly baton.
So it says that Wonka is gonna get this special prize, better than all the rest.
I don't care who those other four are.
That kid? It's gonna be me.
All you had to do was track the manufacturing dates,
offset by weather and the derivative of the Nikkei Index.
A retard could figure it out.
Most of the time I don't know what he's talking about.
Kids these days with all the technology.
Die! Die! Die!
Doesn't seem like they stay kids very long.
In the end, I only had to buy one candy bar.
And how did it taste?
I don't know. I hate chocolate.