tell you
okay welcome jackie thank you so much for joining me in this video um i just want to introduce to our channel here um to all the viewers that this is jackie she is joining the neuro team uh at porn
brain rewired she's going to be our individual coach and i'm really excited to have you here
so that people can um i think it'll be fun for you and i to talk because i feel like we are
kindred spirits in this journey of helping people get out of this you know vortex that is a porn
habit or porn consumption or porn addiction so i'm really excited to have you with us so that you can
help me help everybody heal themselves so that we can get on purpose so thank you welcome thank you
i'm really excited to be here i i feel like it's a divine appointment and that we are kindred spirits
and uh we come from very similar sort of backgrounds and i i understand um
i understand the porn brain because um i was married to a person
who had the porn brain and uh and and did a lot of work on the back end
yeah and i love what you just said we were talking off camera and i'm like can we record this because
people need to hear this and so thank you for allowing me to record this because you know
talking about the empathy and the compassion that you developed through that process and this is a
process it's a process for men who are impacted by porn it's absolutely a process a different process
for partners but you know if if you engage in the process you evolve that's what we always say and
if you don't then you don't evolve and there's no such thing and you'll hear all my little
euphemisms i guess that i try to help people understand like i always say there's only an
upward spiral or a downward spiral horn there is no horizontal spiral no not a thing so if it's not
getting better it's getting worse and i'm sure that's a situation that you were involved in if
you had to say to yourself enough enough now like if we're not moving up we're moving down
absolutely i have seen it firsthand and i do have a lot of compassion and empathy for for people
but the the fact of the matter is there is a solution there is a solution and i know it can
be kind of scary and oftentimes well from my own experience i found that my ex-husband was really
caught in his own trauma and just it was just so difficult for him to look at some of those
events from his past that escalated the behavior of sort of checking out with pornography and other
addictions and my heart broke for him and i know that there are so many people people men that i
speak with on the daily who have this issue and it does escalate it escalates unfortunately into um
you know worse behavior over time as we know yeah and you've been good you've been a coach for a
long time so it's not like you just decided you were going to coach i'm lucky to have you join my
team because it really is important for me to have high quality coaches thank you and i'm so excited
to have you as the first and honestly i don't plan on adding that many because high quality
coaches are not that easy to find so i'm so lucky to have found you to be able to i'm so grateful
that you found me and that i found you i feel like i was born to do this work i have um the coaching
experience obviously i have years of recovery experience and then i also have unfortunately um
experience you know being married to a person who did have a porn addiction unfortunately or
fortunately i always you know yeah i know maybe it is fortunately because i'll be able to help
a lot of people it always it always becomes fortunate it's just at one point in life like
you know it's good point it always becomes fortunate but uh yes and indeed unfortunate
for the experience that you yeah and unfortunately for him you know um but excited for all the people
that we are going to be able to help and and all the people that um will be we're going
to be able to speak life into your your program is amazing and it really you know fundamentally
gives very simple action steps how a person can get help and it can be
a slower process or a faster process um people can piecemeal it and take it one day at a time
and it doesn't have to be overwhelming and that's what i was so impressed with yeah thanks so
jackie took the 90-day complete essential guide digital program that's what she's talking about
oh there's my dog friend um and so you know the digital program is set up so that people
can move through the process in a safe way and it's designed that way intentionally so that
people can move through the process and you know not have to have a coach at the beginning if they
don't want to but what i want people to know and that's what this video is about what coaching is
what it involves why it's so beneficial but what coaching is is having a social support system
and you know it's somebody who's emotionally mature who can meet you in your journey where
you are with no judgment no shame and more importantly the right tools to be able to
get you over whatever hurdle is in front of you at that moment so the digital program is set up
so that you can move through it and learn what you need to know and it's always what you don't know
that bites you right it's like what you don't know takes you down is what i say so you can
move through and learn a lot but then as you approach these moments in your recovery journey
when you're weak and it's difficult and you're struggling having somebody who you can get on with
and say okay what's going on and then you know i tell you this thing happened i was triggered
i had urges yadda yadda and then you're able to say okay xyz you need to do this or i encourage
you i always tell people you need to do this and rather i encourage you to do this because
nobody likes being told what they should do but people don't mind being encouraged and you know
to get to the other side and science shows this that the one of the two of the most important
things to be done in recovery to ensure success is to get to the other side of those initial
cravings and urges figure it out figure out the plan the plans in the digital program and you
help people implement their plan and then number two is changing routines and habits
so that you can change the way that you act and your behaviors which then in fact changes your
mindset and changes the way that you think and you know you already mentioned trauma there's a
one of people's favorite lessons is the trauma lesson so you know having the trauma lesson so
thank you for bringing up the 90-day program but coaching adds to that in such a powerful way which
is what you'll do for people yes coaching is is the best i mean i have a coach myself and
it's always nice to have a person to run things by and to add it with the 90-day program i believe is
paramount because there are there will be slippery slopes there will be i mean recovery is not linear
you know it there's lots of hills there's lots of valleys so to have a person you can connect with
once a week and um you know create action steps create accountability steps um and i i always i
always have a coach and i tell people here too and i had a coach and i was just talking about
this when i recorded a podcast yesterday i had a coach a new coach and you know it was okay but
actually it was and this brings him a point about our coaching he wasn't responsive enough like i'd
show up with something i was struggling and there was a framework they had a framework
they were work he was working within yeah but when i showed up with a struggle like it was
always bringing it back to the framework instead of responding to the thing in front of me oh yeah
so and that's too tricky you need someone who can meet you right where you are in that moment
teach you over that moment because it's gotta be authentic it gets really nice so i was looking for
a new coach and i was kind of going through this process and i remembered my old coach
who i coached with for a long time and i called him up and i have my uh appointment with him at
four o'clock today and i'm so excited because he would call me out on my you know the thing that
a really powerful thing a coach does and you can you know throw it back over to you then is
to call you out on kind of like you know the thought process that you're in and it might not
even be a bad one it's just not the one that's serving you in the moment and he was really
great as i was thinking about him i'm like man he would call me out on any like circular or scarcity
mindset or fear he would call that out in me and then he'd tell me what i need to go do and
then i would go do it and then i wouldn't even i would do 10 more things because he'd empower me
and then i meet him the next week and i'd be like you know and the strong moment would be
like where are we at now and then or the next week once i'd be like no and he'd be like so you know
that's so awesome that's so funny that you say that because i recently moved back down
to orange county from northern california and i called my old coach yesterday and i'm going
to meet with her on monday because i and the same kind of thing she would like empower me
and like when you have a coach they see things that you don't see and they're able to to tap into
you know your systems right and your fears and your limiting belief systems and and almost like
your subconscious mind and like and like pull it out of you and encourage you to move into you know
just better or kinder or more loving behavior for yourself you know and that's the piece that i love
about having a coach it's just so i think everyone should have one everyone should i know totally i
know i've even my kids like my kids i've taken them you know and off camera you were talking
about you know you're an energy worker you can feel people's energy so there's a woman we've
worked with for a really long time i have a you know kind of a few different people with different
specialties i guess that we work with but when my kids were young i took them to see this woman
her name's winnie and and i took all the kids so they could learn about their energy and learn to
perceive it and to feel it and then when kind of you know the crap hit the fan for
my kids they've already have somebody who could help them and i've sent the kids and actually
my daughter fiona was just struggling i always looked down to her bedroom she's over there um
and i'm like she'd kill me right now she was home thankfully um that you know when she was
struggling with something a couple of months ago she went to see winnie for a few sessions
and just lifted the burden of the thing that was bogging her down gave her some tools to deal with
you know and really beautiful beautiful that's the cool piece i mean like you can be fine you
can finish the program and coach for a while and then be fine and be doing well and six months in
year in and then there's a slip and you know who to call you know where to go yeah and everybody
knows you knows your history knows you know you're strong your assets are liabilities
and you're able to work through that usually in a couple sessions and you know and in our program
what the way that we're doing it is that in the 90-day program clearly it's 90 days so we're
encouraging people to stay in coaching for three months because you need to build this foundation
and fundamentals and you need to learn you know people who and i guess maybe we could just
transition into i'll tell you a couple things i think makes for successful coaching versus
you know coaching that quote-unquote fails or doesn't work but i know people that i've worked
with who haven't gotten out of coaching what they wanted to that was my fault back in the day
because i allowed them to coach one session at a time at the beginning and those people like they'd
come or actually it's always been three sessions for me but they didn't show up for the second two
and i didn't make them and i didn't make them keep paying for a little while you know you pay
for stuff you value it you show up so you know long story short you know it's to be successful
you have to build connection and build rapport melt melt the guard that you've learned to put
up in the defenses and allow yourself to show up authentically in those sessions you got to get
to that place and that takes a little while but then once you've built that then you can go okay
here we are at the core of it and then then you build it back up and so you don't have to be in
coaching forever and in the our program we have an initial program then we have a maintenance
program and then we has have an as you need it program but you have to basically get yourself
through that to get to that and i know once people have done it they really appreciate that because
they like having the foundation being set with them for them then they like flexibility of not
having to pay for coaching for the rest of their life and showing up all the time but they still
need accountability and you know what that looks like is after those three months of initially the
three months it's three weeks on one week off for implementation after that it's a monthly check-in
and then after that you can you can usually do quarterly or we'll have check-ins after that but
you know this way you know who your person is and that is amazing when you feel something coming on
that's when you call your person if you didn't call your person then and you know you've had a
slip you call your person then you get back on the horse exactly and that and that's the piece i i
it doesn't always have to look the way that it may look in the beginning i mean people can have lives
beyond their wildest dreams i mean the sky is the limit and and this is what we help people do
we help them build um satisfying lives filled with love and joy and compassion for others and then
they might end up going and helping of others who who knows thank you for saying that because when i
say things on the internet people will comment back that's just you dr trish only you can do
that i'm like no negative and the podcast that i recorded yesterday is one of my uh clients from a
year ago we recorded a podcast about nine months ago i think and he was talking about his journey
in coaching and he was a coaching client his journey in coaching and how it got him out of he's
he lives in london he was working at the walmart of london which i always forget what it's called
but oh yeah i know what you're talking about it's like walmart of uk and he was working there and he
was caught in a bunch of stuff he didn't want to be caught in in terms of addictions and especially
sex and pornography and through coaching he not only got out of all those escapism behaviors
wow he became an investment banker with actually minimal qualifications he moved to london he
lived in the suburbs but this is what i wanted we recorded yesterday we recorded a podcast
a couple you know nine months ago or so we recorded the follow-up of where he's at now and
he was talking about the challenges that he's had moving to a new city getting a new job you know
accepting constructive criticism learning to grow but he was talking about all the tools he learned
through coaching and then check this out he went to greece because he always wanted to travel and i
said wow but his family would tell them you can't travel you can't move out you can't move why oh my
gosh and so we get on and i'd be like you need to move to the big city and you need to get a new job
oh and then he was panicking during the interviews i'm like you got this man you got the interview
and so he he crashed unburned on the cup first couple but then he nailed it and he literally got
the job of his dreams then he moved to the city of his dreams he went to greece then he got back
from greece then he went to paris wow it's like literally amazing he's like i would have never
thought that this year would have been that because he signed up for coaching in the beginning
of the year but in one year your life could be different that's incred and it's so true in six
months your life can be different just by like making a choice to put your addiction right here
and pursue health and wellness and have somebody to tell it to have somebody to tell them you can
do it you can do it you need someone to go you can do it and then especially break down break
down the little things that you've put up that in your head you're telling yourself you can't
do it and you need the screen and and you don't deserve it you know self-worth is so low when
it comes yeah and all the shame and the guilt i know i know so so i like there is a solution yay
exactly i love that's why we were off screen and you're like i'm so glad to be here i can't wait
to show people compassion and create the space for them and i'm like so excited and to live i mean i
you know like as you know i come from i have my own addiction that i've had that i've given
up 20 years ago so i've done the work i know firsthand that you can have a life beyond your
wildest dreams that nothing nothing is out of reach nothing to decide so exciting to be able
to give that away and actually share stories with people and let them know that they too
that yes i believe i'm special but and you're special we're all special we can all do it
100 that's what i tell people like we all have that calling inside of us that we ignore
and even if the special thing is being uh you know i use the example of a plumber yesterday
anything like like if it's in you that is the specialness of you that is the contribution
and lord knows when you need a plumber you need a good one and you know what i mean and you're
willing to pay because plumbing is very important actually you know so like those you know that's
why people think my dreams aren't big enough or it's funny too because yesterday two days ago
two people told me in the calls like for a pretty long time making me feel uncomfortable
like how important my work is and i must know that and i'm like not that i wanted them to keep
telling me that but i said every day i wake up with doubt that i should be talking about this and
every day i feel like i'm not doing enough and so like but the point is like and every day i have to
tell myself i'm here for this like the mission's bigger than my doubt and needs this way more than
i'm making a perfect video i just need to make the video and tell people what they
need to hear even if it's cheesy because i made a powerpoint video yesterday i'm like oh no i need
i need somebody to edit these videos beautifully and then i'm like i don't have that i'm just going
to make a powerpoint and call it a day because people need to know this information more than
they need to know it doesn't matter what it looks like it mat it's a heartfelt connection you know
it matters the information that we're actually sharing with each other and how we can be of love
and support with each other like it's not about me right it's about the people i get to serve
and that's the gift that's the special gift that's the specialness and that is actually the point in
that when you realize that it's like yeah i'm here from a plumber or or i'm a coach if i'm a
plumber i'm serving people you know you're really you're helping people and that everybody serves
everybody is a reality when you look at any job in the entire world it all comes down to service
it's a mindset it all comes out of circles okay so we'll wrap up but i just wanted to welcome you i
want to people thank you to meet you and um there is it's not there yet if you watch this video
immediately but very soon there will be a page on dr trish lee.com that says coaching under the porn
brain rewire um tab at the top of the page and if you click on that coaching page all the details
of working with jackie will be there yeah okay thanks appreciate it we'll see you soon okay bye