(Clickity clackity)
Welcome, flesh bags. Your new ruler, Starscream, has arrived.
As your new leader,
I find that it is important for me to connect with my newfound subjects.
And what better way to do that than to answer your pathetic, meaningless questions?
Let's begin, shall we?
Dear Starscream, how does it feel to be Megatron's bitch?
Just gonna ignore that..
So Starscream, how does it feel being beaten up by Megatron all the time?
Well, for crying out loud...
Have you ever enjoyed Megatron beating you so much, you started to call him daddy...? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What is wrong with you people?!
Is this all I am to you?!
A joke?! (yes)
I set aside time for my work to give you humans the opportunity to talk to me.
I'm seriously starting to regret doing this.
Someone, please give me the respect I deserve or I'm leaving!
Now... let's try this again.
I've always wanted to ask this, Starscream.
What would your first order of business as the rightful leader of the Decepticons be once Megatron is gone for good?
P.S. Don't tell Megatron I said any of this.
Thank you!
Finally a flesh bag with some manners!
Well, as the leader of the Decepticons,
I feel it is my duty to conquer all of Cybertron so that everyone will be under one ruler.
Me.
Once that is accomplished, I plan to fix all the problems that have tainted our people in the past.
Such as removing old debt, destroying the inequality between the lower and higher classes,
focusing on the economy rather than the military, and possibly providing free health care for all Cybertronians.
And of course...
Make a statue in my honor so that everyone may worship me as their new Lord and Savior.
How did you feel when you found out that you weren't fighting Bee in the Bumblebee movie?
Not gonna lie, it was pretty disappointing. The reveal trailer got me so excited..!
But alas... it was just Blitzwing.
This was supposed to be my moment of glory! He didn't need to tease me like that. I don't know.
What do you think about all this, Blitzwing?
(Oof...)
Ugh!!
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.
Do you get annoyed for not being a unique robot type?
I mean, you look exactly like Thundercracker, Skywarp, and almost every seeker in existence, just varying in colors.
Well, I am a very good looking Decepticon if I do say so myself.
It is only natural for others to copy my greatness.
But yes, I do get annoyed. :(
Imagine having to live every day of your life working with lamer versions of yourself. Not fun at all.
Couldn't Hasbro have worked a little bit harder on those designs? There can only be one, you buffoons!
Starscream why do you despise Megatron's leadership so much?
It's a long story. So long, in fact, it could probably be its own spin-off movie
(cOugH)
Starscream movie-
(aHeM)
But, basically, what happened is...
He didn't invite me to his birthday party! That monster!
Hey, Starscream, is there any Decepticon you would consider competent enough to be your second-in-command upon your inevitable rise to leadership?
Good question. I don't trust anyone besides myself which is why I'll make clones of myself to serve as my loyal disciples.
Nothing will ever go wrong. I can assure you that. (Flashbacks to TFP)
If you were a Prime, what would you name yourself?
Oh, that's easy.
I would name myself...
Holy Thunderus Spark-Crusher the Third!
That reminds me... I recently went to an audition to become the next Prime, but when I walked in...
Well...
Let's just say it was intense.
Not doing that ever again.. egh...
Starscream, how did it feel to throw Megatron out of Astrotrain and into the vacuum of space?
(Starscream's laughter)
It felt amazing!
I never thought I would get the chance to do something like that!
It was like... all my life's work was building up to that moment..!
But in the end, it didn't really mean anything since Megatron was just reborn again.
He's right. I am an idiot...
Should have just gone for the head. (snappity snappity)
Hello, my Lord, I must ask. How are you able to stay looking so fabulous all the time?
Yes!
Worship me! Feed my ego, GayGiantRobots!
(More Starscream's amazing laughter)
But to answer your question, it's because I'm Starscream. I'm perfect in every way.
That and I use face masks.
Who is best girl? You? Thundercracker? Or Skywarp?
Pfbfft!
You're comparing them to me? Obviously, I'm best girl.
(Starscream laughing)
Wait a second...
What's your opinion on the other seekers?
You really wanna know?
Well, here's what I think of them:
Thundercracker is a- (BEEP)
Skywarp is a- (BEEP)
Acidstorm can kiss my-!
(Damn, Starscream. Damn.)
Ramjet is a piece of- (BLEEP)
And, finally, Slipstream...
Slipstream is cool. I like being with her. She's really genuinely funny and I think we should hang out more.
Moving on.
Starscream, are you a fury? (Furry)
What is this "fury" (furry) you speak of?
Might have to do some research on this later.
Do you believe in Primus?
Primus isn't real. They beat him up for money. Stop worshiping him. Worship me instead!
Starscream, have you considered trying to rule the Decepticons with Megatron?
No.
Starscream, consider the following.
A man named Peter Piper and his wife Sandy had their own businesses.
Peter sells pickled peppers.
Sandy sells seashells, about 50 a day. (Starscream struggles to English)
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
and she sells seashells by the seashore, (Come on, Starscream, you can do it!)
Would they be making an equal income? --What the fuck is this?!
What is this nursery rhyme bullshit?
Someone bring me an aspirin...
my brain hurts...
I'm also incredibly proud of myself because I got that on the first try.
HEY SCREAMER! What the?
How the heck are you able to transcend death?
Love your long-lost brother, Acidstorm..?
Well, Acidstorm, when you're as awesome and popular as me, you can transcend anything.
Even death itself.
And don't call me brother.
Let's keep it professional.
Starscream, would it kill you to be nice to Megatron? He may promote you if you don't try to kill him every five minutes.
Last time I was nice to someone, I got betrayed.
Trust me.
Arrival's cruel treatment is nothing compared to the feeling of being backstabbed by a close friend.
It breaks my spark thinking about it.
I'm never going to let myself make the same mistake again.
Never again...
Push those feelings down! Next question!
Starscream, can you make a sandwich?
Ha! Of course, I can! Who doesn't know how to make a sandwich? Am I right?
Ha, ha, ha...!
Eh, mmm...
Starscream, why do you think Megatron hasn't killed you yet?
You know what? I don't know
Come to think of it, I'm surprised I managed to stay his second-in-command all these years.
Do my constant betrayals and acts of mutiny not warrant an execution?
My best guess is..
My suffering is his entertainment.
I must be damn entertaining then.
Meh.
Dear Lord Starscream, have you ever had a talk with Megatron about how abusive he is to you?
Ugh! It's always about Megatron, isn't it?
Megatron this. Megatron that.
Can't I be my own individual?
I'm tired of being associated with that pathetic excuse of a leader.
But answer your question, no, we've never talked about it.
We probably should though, so that we can work out the problems in our relationship and build a stronger connection.
Uh! I mean, screw Megatron! He can go die in an acid pit!
Hey, Starscream.
Do you realize that this whole time while you were reading our text that Megatron was standing right behind you this whole time...?
(yElp)
You guys are enjoying this aren't you?
How many times have you failed?
Failure is a strong word. I prefer the term...
Happy accidents.
There, that's more like it.
Now, I believe the question you're asking is how many happy accidents have you had?
The answer is...
Too many to count.
How does it feel to be killed by a human in the Bayfilms franchise?
We don't ever talk about that.
Why is your laugh so damn annoying?
Don't answer the question... Just trying to get you... Remember what your therapist said...
Mmh...
My goodness! There's so much disrespect in here! For every good question, there's like a bazillion mean ones!
What did I ever do to deserve this treatment?
Someone give me a good question that I can work with, please!
Starscream, have you ever looked up "Starscream" in the Urban Dictionary?
Huh, interesting, I've never thought of doing that before. Let me look it up real quick.
Okay...
Starscream...
(HAH!!!)
OH, COME ON!
You know what?
I'm done.
I'm not going to take this anymore!
I'm gonna do the smart thing and just walk away.
Whose stupid idea was this anyways?
Why does no one understand me..?
Someone get me my therapist... (Guys, go get his therapist.)
(Subtitles/CC [English] by Mysticxxl)