I haven't made one of these videos in like nine months.
Hello people on YouTube its Caffinejedi and it's been a long time since I've made this kind of video but what the hell, let's
get to it. So, when I shower it's very basic, I mean, I adjust the water for like five minutes.
Oh fuck, it's too hot again. Then I body wash everything. Just 'cause she dances go-go,
it don't make her a ho, no. Then I shampoo my hair. We gonna eeeelope to Meeeexico. Then
I condition. Called up my mama, said I'm in love with a stripper, yo. Then I condition
again. Bones in your body and you was made to be a celebrity. And then I use shower-cream.
He without sin cast the first stone. So, as one might imagine when I lived in Japan I
did a lot of showering. As should everyone everywhere. But, there is a lot more to it
than that in Japan. Japanese bathing is the art of relaxation. Seriously guys, it is.
Okay, so, let's just generalize it here: The Japanese are very high-strung people. They
have a lot of stress and they work all the time. "work" Yes I use air-quotes with that
because there seems to be a lot more quantity than quality. And this is not made up by me
and my evil western judgement. Japanese people will admit the same thing. Since they can't
leave home till OJ Bath goes freaking home the time they do get off to relax is all that
more important. It is practically sacred. Than how do Japanese people like to relax?
Bathing! The wonderful, wonderful bathing! Now, before I went there showering was like
fine, yeah, whatever, you do it. I never was a kid who didn't enjoy taking a shower. Unlike
some of you. Hm, you know who you are. But in Japan, people, they take it very seriously.
And I mean seriously, they have been taking this thing seriously for a really, really,
really long time. Like long before all these westerners were bathing every day, Japanese
people had this thing down packed. In fact, the first thing they noticed when a lot of
foreign missionaries came was the fact that they didn't bath every day. And they stunk.
So, how much do they enjoy bathing? I guess for the rest of this video let's just talk
about the onsens since... my personal favorite, but I will touch up on the sento, the public
bath. The public bath, the sento. It essentially used to be the only way people used to bath
back in the day. To the point, that when I was in Tokyo, apartment hunting, there was
actual apartments that didn't have their own showers. The real estate agent would point
me to the nearest sento and say "well, if you need to shower, there it is". But unlike
I guess the "porn" aspect of bathhouses, bathhouses in Japan are very clean, very efficient and
very relaxing so I much enjoyed them. Oh, and BYOS. That is: bring your own soup. Trust
me on that one. But these places become very handy, especially if you decide to take the
overnight bus from Osaka to Tokyo which takes you eight hours. Or vice versa. Tokyo to Osaka.
Anyway the point is: sentos, they get your ass clean. So, I am just going to stick to
the onsen which is Japanese for the best bath you will ever have in your life. Or hot spring.
Not actually a literal hole in the dirt or water pops up from, they have like basically
every shape and size and type of onsen imaginable. So to be considered an onsen the basic rule
is the water has to be sourced from I guess underground. And from this there is like different
qualities and quantities and all these types, they come from just like this tiny little
family owned ones to like huge theme parks of onsens. But at the very basic, an onsen
will usually have an outdoor bath and an indoor bath. And there is something truly magical
about taking a bath outside. I don't know what it is but it's like you've never lived
before until you had little tiny snowflakes falling on top of you as you sit in a giant
pool with steaming bubbling hot water from the ground. But depending how big the place
is you know you can get like food. Oh, and there is this stupid orange hair again! A
ton of booze... which, uh... is perfectly acceptable but there is a warning to this
which is: when you are in an onsen and it is super giant boiling hot, you are sweating
like a maniac and do not realize it. So make sure to hydrate yourself when you're getting
completely smashed of your bottom. Oh god, I'm starting to sound English. I said the
word "bottom". You can also dress in ukata which I always found delightfully fun... and
comfortable... and easy to fall asleep in... and also it hides the fat really well. Just
something I noticed. And for some extra yen there are lots of different spa treatments
available. I personally love getting massages. And Japanese people, they know how to do a
massage right. Painful as hell which is how I like them and none of this pussy crap I
always get in England which is just like "piep"..."piep" I'm not a goddamn typewriter okay? Put some
force into it! Strangely enough though this is like one of the only things that Japanese
people tend to do with cloth on is get a massage. So, hmmm. Word of advice though going to the
onsen might not be the best date idea for the reason: sexes are segregated so you'll
spend a lot of your time like you know possibly talking trough the wall which I know people
have done before. Now, I have heard of the rumored same sex onsen. I know they exist.
I personally never went to one but if there's anything a same sex German sauna taught me
is that there are some things that are meant to be hidden by clothing. Especially the opposite
sex. Urgh. Japanese people won't prevent them from pointing out your "western abnormalities".
I can't tell you how many times I got the question "Nan Cup Ne?" Yes and there was actual
like "let me try and feel you up a little bit" "are those real?" I never thought of
myself as a crazy boobalicious person I mean, I never think I don't have anything, but god
damn, caveat to that Japanese bras suck so come prepared. So I guess I can conclude by
telling you that bathing is probably one of the best experiences you could have in Japan
and everyone should defiantly try the onsen. But it also makes basically any kind of spa
anywhere else look like complete and total horrible crap. And you will have to live with
that the rest of your life. So, make sure to like, subscribe, favorite, favorite me
on facebook and feel free to check out my new channel "SharkHelpingFish" which is going
to have all my scripted stuff. Our new video is down here so click on it and take a look.
See you guys.