-Thank you very much, Roots. Hi, everybody.
Welcome to "The Tonight Show." Thank you so much for watching.
It is Monday, July 20th.
There's a lot of news to catch up on,
so let's get right into it.
Guys, everybody is talking about this.
Yesterday, we got to see President Trump's interview
with Chris Wallace on "Fox News Sunday,"
and the reactions to Trump's performance were mixed.
Some experts called it a fiasco,
while others called it a debacle.
I'm not saying it was bad, but by the end of it,
Kanye was calling for Trump to get some help.
Anyway, as the pandemic continues to surge
across the country, Wallace asked Trump about
a statement he previously made about the virus
and whether he still stands by it.
Take a look.
-I think we're going to be very good with the coronavirus.
I think that, at some point,
that's going to sort of just disappear.
I'll be right eventually. -[ Laughs ] I understand.
-I will be right eventually.
You know, I said, it's going to disappear.
I'll say it again, it's going to disappear,
and I'll be right.
-Yeah, he really believes this is going to go away on its own.
Trump is like, "Everyone knows the virus will disappear,
just like chicken pox and herpes."
That's right -- Trump is just going to keep ignoring it
until it disappears or, as he calls it, "The Don Jr. Method."
Let me ask you a question.
If your dermatologist said, "That doesn't look good,
but I'm sure it will disappear eventually,"
would you keep going back?
During the interview, Trump repeatedly knocked
Joe Biden as being unfit for the job
and then challenged him to take the same cognitive test
that he brags to have aced.
Check it out.
-Let's take a test. Let's take a test right now.
Let's go down, Joe and I. We'll take a test.
Let him take the same test that I took.
-Incidentally, I took the test, too,
when I heard that you passed it.
-Yeah, how did you do?
-Well, it's not the hardest test.
There's a picture, and it says, "What's that?"
And it's an elephant. -No, no.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, Trump was thinking, "Damn it.
I knew I should have written down "elephant."
Elephant! I wrote 'dinosaur.'"
I'm glad Trump knows how to identify an elephant.
If the country ever has an elephant pandemic,
we'll be in great shape.
Meanwhile, Don Jr. took the test, but he just shot a hole
in the picture of the elephant.
Later in the interview, Trump bragged about finding
all of the hidden objects in a
"I found the telescope, the treasure chest.
I found the diving helmet. That was very hard to find.
That was in the seaweed."
Just to prove Trump aced the test,
he spent the rest of the interview
pointing at things and naming them.
"That's a chair. That's a tree. This is a shirt.
I can go all day."
Trump claims that doctors were surprised how well he did.
Mr. President, it's not good when you have to take
a mental test and doctors are surprised you did so well.
Well, we actually got ahold of Trump's cognitive test,
and I'm not sure he did as well as he claims.
I'll show you what I mean.
For example, for the question, "What is this shape?",
Trump wrote, "A terrifying ramp."
Next up, for "List three words that start with the letter 'J,'"
Trump wrote, "Jobs, Jared, jenius."
Up next, for "What is this color?",
Trump said, "Mirror color."
And for this question, "What is this?",
Trump wrote, "My Twitter stick."
And this was bizarre.
For "Starting at 100, count backwards from 7,"
Trump said, "7, 8, 9, 10," while he backed out of the room.
And, finally, for "What number is half of 50?",
Trump wrote, "My approval rating."
Ooh.
Later in the interview, Wallace asked Trump
about the 2020 election and what he would do if he lost.
Listen to what Trump had to say.
-I think mail-in voting is going to rig the election.
-Are you suggesting that you might not accept
the results of the election?
-You know, I have to see. -Can you give a direct answer?
You will accept the election? -I have to see.
Look, you -- I have to see.
No, I'm not going to just say "yes."
-Trump was like, "I don't accept the results
of any elections at all.
As far as I'm concerned,
Justin Guarini won "American Idol."
The interview was so rough, now everyone
who enters The White House gets tested
to make sure they're not Chris Wallace.
"Just making sure."
These photos also of Mark Zuckerberg
surfing in Hawaii.
Did you see these yet? Take a look at this.
Him surfing.
Can we zoom in on his face at all?
Yeah. He's the Facebook C.E.O.
He looks more like the Snapchat logo.
When reached for comment, he said...
"Mime over matter" is what I said.
I'm sorry. I forgot to...
Trump saw that and said, "Oh, I know this one.
It was on the test. He's a swan."
After that, his wife changed her relationship status
from married to it's complicated.
Well, guys, as the number of virus cases
continues to rise here in the U.S.,
it sounds like our neighbors to the north
are interested in extending their travel ban.
Listen to this Canadian broadcast.
-IPSA's polling shows 93% of us feel it's just too risky
to travel to the United States right now.
85% think the border should stay closed
until the end of the year.
-While the other 15% of Canadians
were too nice to say anything.
Man, Trump is going to be so mad
when they build their border wall before we do.
And, finally, as the virus continues to spike,
you hope more people will wear masks,
practice social distancing, and do their part
to help stop the spread,
and then you hear something like this.
-A woman was told to leave a Verizon Wireless store
after she refused to wear a mask,
and rather than going quietly,
she decided to pee all over the sales floor.
[ Laughter ]
-Employees were like, "Lady, what do you think this is?
A P-Mobile?"
To be fair, Verizon did say they offered
streaming anytime, anywhere.