(upbeat pop music) - The following is an
accurate representation of when I go grocery shopping.
I'm gonna be healthy this week.
Let's go shopping!
I'll need some broccoli,
oh, some spinach, a bit of kale,
some spring onions,
oh the cheese section.
No, I won't go over there.
I'll just, oh, maybe I'll just go on over
and have a look at the cheese.
Ooh, they've got a special on Swiss.
Oh my God, you can buy Swiss, and get a free Jarlsberg.
Hi, can I just have a small sample of the Swiss?
Mmm, that's good.
Maybe I'll just do a little bit of Swiss.
Oh, and I get the free Jarlsberg as well.
May as well do the blue cheese,
'cause that's really nice.
Oh, I've got to get biscuits, actually.
Oh, the quince paste.
We'll do the French onion dip with a bit of feta.
That can be my cheat meal.
Ooh, the chip aisle!
Canned beans, are they down this aisle?
This aisle says chips, but I'll just
check to see if they're healthy.
Oh, veggie chips?
Practically vegetables.
I'll do two packets of the soy veggie chips.
Oh my God, Burger Rings!
Ooh, Cheezels are on special.
They're only a dollar a box?
Mmm.
Uh?
Oh, I'll just get four boxes of those.
Mmm, kangaroo meat's quite lean and healthy, isn't it?
(gasp) Cheese-filled chicken, wrapped with bacon.
15 minutes in the oven, that's so easy.
Maybe I'll do that.
Chicken's healthy.
Okay, I think that's,
oh, iced tea!
Ah, it doesn't fit in the bag.
Hold on, let me put the kale, and the spinach,
and the broccoli back, and I'll get two,
four liter jugs of iced tea.
All right, I think that's everything.
I've got the chicken stuffed with cheese,
wrapped in bacon for dinner.
I might have the Cheezels for dessert,
with maybe a couple of liters of iced tea.
Oh, when I get home, I'll do a bit cheese, butter, oh shit!
The double cream brie, where's the double cream brie?
The double cream brie.
Yeah, okay.
So, I've got the double cream brie, the Jarlsberg,
the Swiss, and the blue.
The quince paste.
Oh, I got some prosciutto.
I got the green tea flavored iced tea,
'cause green tea's really good for metabolism,
you know, helps you shed the weight.
Oh, and the cheese platter serves nine.
I mean, I am eating it on my own,
but it serves nine, so,
maybe I'll just have like, four serves,
instead of nine serves.
(upbeat pop music)