how many times did i say i wanted true love when you read stories and held me to your breast
how many times did i ask i wanted to stay up but my daddy told me i should go to bed
and they left me there wide awake so excited
i crept downstairs and heard something break in the room
oh and then my dad left the room
and i said mommy please don't cry oh i'll stay up with you all night
we'll eat the cookies off the mantle by the lights
and she said baby it's alright just look around it's warm and bright
but i still felt so cold upon that winter night
i was 5
oh oh oh i was 5 oh oh oh oh oh
that star on the tree that i cannot reach
is looming weighted over me and the presents beneath
dont mean shit to me if i can't have my family
on this christmas eve i can't let you leave
i need you to stay, here with me but these little hands
no they can't grasp anything
so i said mommy please don't cry oh i'll stay up with you all night
we'll eat the cookies off the mantle by the lights
and she said baby it's alright just look around it's warm and bright
but i still felt so cold upon that winter night
i was 5
and they left me there and they left me there
so on the 25th tonight i'll just wash my .45
and pull the only thing that i can hold tonight
and i wrote mommy please don't cry just know i loved you all my life
there's just so much shit i feel at 25 so this is goodbye