Heya playa, have you ever sent your crush a text message and it left you wondering,
"Should I keep messaging them until they respond back or should I just let it be?".
I'll share my thoughts on that, what you should do and how often you should text them right
after this.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self.
Now when it comes to texting it can be a tricky game because you don't want to over-do it,
make the person annoyed with you or just simply bore them.
It's gonna require a bit of skill on your part navigating how often you should text
them.
So, I want to knock out a few of the simple questions right off the bat.
Number one, how often should you text them?
Well, I would say it's dependant on how close you are with them.
For example, if the two of you really aren't that close I would say texting once a day
is fine.
But if it's a person you know a little bit better and the two of you have that vibe going,
I would say texting them multiple times a day is fine.
What you really wanna know is how close you are with them to see how often you should
text them.
And that leads to the second question, how do you determine how close you are with them
to decide how often you should text them?
Well to figure that out, I think you need to look at the quality of responses that you
get back from them.
For example, do you send them a message like "hey" and all you get back is a "hey"?
Or are they more open?
Do they kind of share more in their answers?
Are they engaged in a conversation or are they simply not?
Chances are if you're watching this video they're not that engaged.
In fact, they're probably not even responding and you don't want to look like a creep and
send them too many messages because that might turn them off.
So what is this dance you have to play?
What is the magic number, the amount of times you should text them throughout the day without
being overboard or overkill?
I would say that number rests around two.
So I've only given you two texts to use throughout the day so let's craft that first message.
Umm, I don't know.
Umm...
Hey what's up?
How's it going?
What's going on?
Wrong!
That's a waste of a text right there.
By sending a person an initial message like "Hey what's up?" or "Hey what's going on?"
you're really putting it in their court to figure out what the conversation is going
to be.
They're either gonna tell you something fun and interesting that's going on or they're
not gonna have anything to share and then they'll respond back with "nothing much, what's
up with you?".
And after you have that exchange, now it's back on you and the pressure is twice as high
for you to say something interesting because you've gotten their attention and now they're
waiting for you to deliver but if you don't have anything to deliver with, you've kind
of ruined it.
It's incredibly easy for that person to get bored if they feel like there's no substance
behind what you're saying.
So instead of saying something like "Hey what's up?"
always start by asking a question.
When you ask a question, you're prompting for an answer.
Not a generic response like "Nothing much, you?" from them but by asking something specific
they can give you a specific response that's related to them.
For example, let's say you send them a text message saying something like "Hey, I'm thinking
about going to check out this movie.
I've heard good things about it.
Have you heard anything about it?".
Now that prompts them to share their actual thoughts with you.
They can give you their opinion on the movie or simply tell you that they know nothing
about it or don't care about it.
But at least then, you've gotten them engaged in the conversation.
They know that you want to do something.
You want to go to the movies and if you're not gonna go to the movies, you'll find other
plans and those other plans can potentially involve them.
Let's say they don't respond to that first message, how then do you get them engaged
in that conversation?
It seems like they're ignoring you so what should that second message be?
That second message has to be good, it has to be something really really spicy for them
to be part of the conversation so what do you say?
I think your second message has to be a little more straight forward and jokey at the same
time.
Now what a lot of people tend to do which is a huge mistake is send these long paragraphs
of text telling the person "Why don't you respond?", "How come you don't let me know
what's going on?", "Why do you ignore me?"
and that overwhelms the other person if they do eventually read your message so, you don't
want to do that.
Instead, have fun with the second message.
Send something like "Oh my god, it finally happened!"
and then leave it at that.
Anything that's fun and witty like that, something that will intrigue them or get them to send
you a question mark as a response is something you can do to get them engaged.
You don't want to kind of put them on the spot and say "Why don't you respond to your
messages?" because all that's gonna do is make them respond defensively which is kind
of counter productive and not really what you want to accomplish here.
You could say that or something like "You won't believe what just happened to me, wow!",
remember try to think a little clickbait-y here.
The whole purpose is to get them to actually start engaging with you so, if they didn't
respond to your first question, maybe the statement that has a little bit more pizazz
and mystery to it is what's gonna hook them in.
Now the main purpose of saying something like that is not just to get them to respond.
You don't want to say afterwards "Oh I said that just to get your attention" because that's
gonna make you look even lower in their eyes.
Try to share something fun and interesting going on in your life.
Go back to the question piece and start that over.
For me, the magic number for how often you should text your crush is two but now I want
to know what you guys think.
How often have you texted your crush before getting a response?
How many messages did you have to send to actually get their attention?
And are you in that state where they've just ghosted you and not responded at all?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
Otherwise thank you so much for watching, if you enjoyed this video hit the thumbs up
button and check out the playlist over there on the side where I go more in-depth on texting.
I've done a few videos in the past about it so that playlist is gonna kinda walk you through
how to text someone, how to make it work and how to take it to the next level.
On that note guys, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.