okay if you want to feel confident and in control around women you need to take
charge of your life and feel in charge of your life and there's something that
a lot of guys are doing that prevents them from feeling in charge and
confident in their lives and that's what I'm gonna be talking about in this video
Stephan Erdman is my name if you're into getting more videos like this one
or others on dating advice and how to meet women naturally and get their
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button and also hit that notifications bell so today I want to share with you
something that's changed my life and I hope it will change your life too and
it's a kind of a concept really but it's you know it's really hard to always keep
at the forefront of your mind whenever I'm not feeling good whenever I'm not
feeling confident in charge and all of that this is at the heart of it what we
are going to be talking about in this video it has proven that the more in
control you feel in your life the more confident you will feel and the more
self-esteem you have and that's something that we all want around women
right that also has to do a lot with being a adult male I guess taking charge
of your life and feeding and control all of those things give you self-esteem and
confidence great but what stops us from feeling in control of our lives or
feeling in charge of our lives well it's something to do with our experiences
seeing here's the thing most of us we do not take responsibility of negative
experiences in our lives however we tend to take responsibility
very happily for positive experiences in our lives why is this distinction so
important well the truth is we are responsible completely responsible for
what we experience let me just say this again we are completely responsible for
what we are experiencing we create our own experiences now let me just be
clear I'm not talking about things that happen to us
and talking about how we experience those things we that happen to us okay
that has to do with choice of an unconscious choice but it is still
something that we are responsible for let me give an example let's say a girl
doesn't want to talk to you when you start a conversation with her let's say
at a train station or something okay and she just doesn't really want to talk to
you and she doesn't seem interested to talk to you so and you go off and
thinking well okay that just happened so there's very different ways of
experiencing that same interaction some people would experience that as
rejection it might further then be experienced as a personal affront make
yourself esteem disappear further and stuff like that it might make you angry
frustrated sad anything like that another person might take that same
situation God doesn't want to speak to you walking away might take that same
situation and experience that very differently for example you might
experience it as oh I've just saved some time because clearly if I speak to this
girl and she doesn't wanna speak to me if she had carried on speaking to me and
not giving me a clear indication that she didn't want to speak to me that I
would have wasted time because she she clearly isn't somebody that is really
interested in me so oh great okay I saved some time there fantastic or you
might see that same interaction and experience it as Oh a learning
opportunity okay so you speak to her she doesn't speak to me I go back and I'm
like wow that's interesting she didn't want to speak to me that's odd
so maybe it can teach me something about what I said to her maybe I shouldn't put
my hand on her leg when I talk to her okay right but suddenly there are very
different experiences of the same interaction of the same thing that
happened you decide and you are responsible for your own experiences you
are creating your own experiences is not
other people doing it and when you realize that and when you also choose to
take responsibility for unpleasant experiences that you are having then
you're on the way to starting to take really truly responsibility for yourself
and that built massive confidence self-esteem and a real sense of being
and controlled in your life and also it makes you feel very imperturbable it's
not even a word like indestructible because you get so real with yourself
it's not easy at first but to truly accept responsibility for even negative
experiences that you have it helps you massively because then you grow then you
develop and the more responsibility you take the less unpleasant experiences you
will have from my experience and if you entreat as I am by how your mind can
work and how much more powerful and in controlled and confident you can feel
that if you haven't done so already do yourself a favor and try out the
six-week W your confidence challenge here it's a fantastic program and it's
free for seven days to try out and it will blow you away if you want to work
on your confidence your inner game and how you feel around women