- First up, we have Ty Rushing
from Nashville, Tennessee.
Hello Ty, what is your question?
- Hi, Drew.
Hi, Garcelle. - Hi.
- Here's my question.
So I've always been told men enjoy the chase,
so I shouldn't be the one to chase him.
Nowadays I feel like women go for what they want.
I don't wanna be too assertive,
so any advice on how to make a subtle advance?
- [Drew] Garcelle, thoughts?
- I would say if you don't wanna make the first move,
I do think men do love the chase,
but you also have to give them a sign
that you like then, whether it's a smile,
longer eye contact, you know, saying hi.
I think that's okay.
I think they have to know that you're interested.
- So.
- Dangle a little carrot.
- The hankie in a Jane Austen novel and you drop it.
- Ooh, did I drop, no.
- All right.
- No, I think you have to give them a sign,
but I also feel like we do live
in a new normalized modern society
where you can go up to a guy and say
would you like to go to dinner,
would you like to have coffee?
- Ty, would that ever work for you?
- I could try it.
I would definitely try it.
I think that could work for me.
- I like it, Ty, thanks for asking that question.
- Bye, good luck, who wouldn't want you?
- Thank you so much. - Totally.
(audience applauding)
- All right, Mike Draper.
What is your question?
- Yeah, so I'm a single dad,
I'm in the dating scene
and so my issue is more when I love, I love hard, right.
And so when I make that kind of commitment
to somebody where I'm like how many ever dates
and I'm like, okay, I like this person,
like my mind goes zero to a hundred
and my heart goes zero to a hundred, right?
And so how do I slow that down
and how do I still stay open to that person
without going full speed ahead with love?
- Yeah, I get it, I'm like that, too.
When I love, I love hard.
How old are your kids if I can ask?
- I have one 7-year-old daughter.
- I would say take your time.
What's the rush?
Do you wanna get married again?
- I'm in no rush, by no means.
- You're in no rush.
- No, not in a rush.
- I say take your time.
I mean, you can do all the sweet things
that it sounds like you would do,
but don't go, like, you know, don't go ring shopping.
- No, I'm not overbearing like that.
- I just think slow down a little.
I mean, slow yourself down.
She doesn't need to know that you're doing that.
Don't call as much.
Let her, I think this mystery is nice.
- [Drew] And when there's a kids involved,
you already have- - Exactly.
- Boundaries built in
of how slow or fast you can take it.
- Agree.
- Because no revolving door
of dating for children, it's not healthy.
- No.
- So, protect her, protect yourself.
- I'll take it to heart, thanks.
- [Garcelle] All set.
- Also you're raising a daughter.
- I know.
- Yeah, I was gonna say.
What would you tell your daughter?
You know?
I would think you'd wanna give
your daughter advice about not moving too fast
and seeing if this truly is your person.
- All right, thank you, Mike.
I look forward to hearing how this all goes.
Okay, next is Sarah Chen.
Where are you, Sarah?
- Right here. - Hi.
- Hi, Sarah. - Hi.
- So I have a question about paying,
the dreaded question.
So do you think that the girl should expect
the guy to pay for the first few dates
or do you think we need to be a bit more lenient nowadays?
- I go back and forth on this
because one, I truly believe a man
should pay for the first meal, absolutely.
But I'm also raising boys
and I don't want them to be taken advantage of
all the time.
So I don't have a problem paying
for like maybe the third or fourth date,
saying I have this,
but I think the first one, he should pay.
I really do.
- What would you prefer for yourself, may I ask?
- I mean, honestly, I want them to pay
for the first few dates.
I've gone on dates before where like
I'll always do the ask of like,
oh, like I'll also do halfsies with you
and then I work in the corporate world and stuff.
- Do you do that. - I know, I know.
- I probably shouldn't.
- Don't you say I'll pay half.
Not right away.
I mean, if we wanna be courted,
if we wanna be treated like a lady,
I think they really should pay.
But, there's other things you can do.
If you're at the valet now,
I mean, I live in LA, so there's a lot of valet.
I know New York, you don't,
but you can say oh, I'll get the valet for you.
Do you know what I mean?
I think there's different little things you can do.
- Yeah, if you're gonna cohabitate,
you're gonna have to split eventually,
but going Dutch on the first date isn't as sexy.
- Yeah.
- Fair.
- But it's nice that you offer,
but it does leave a door open,
so maybe figure out what you want,
but trust your well-intended person
who wants to offer.
It's confusing, it's not obvious.
Well, let's just keep talking
about love together, it's so fun.
- I would love it, anytime. - Me, too.
- "Love Me As I Am," Garcelle's beautiful new memoir.
(upbeat music)