I'm Steve Kroft I'm Lesley Stahl
I'm Bob Simon. All the other clowns before me are jokes.
Part of the fake media. I'm Ethan Klein, the only reputable journalist in the -- on --er -- in United States today
and you're watching The H3 Report
What up Pimps
Let's just get riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight into it!
Guys and just as a token of my
seriousness I picked up this $1 comb from my local convenience store and I'm gonna be combing my hair before every episode just to show
You how serious I am about delivering the best news show on the whole god damn fucking
mother fucking Internet. Oh, and did I mention? I also curse
Fuck you mom!
Hey, Ad rater watching this video
Fuck you, bitch! The top story of today is bullies. Man, bullies are the worst
I wish we could just kill them all but unfortunately murder is illegal
but we found the next best thing Bully Hunters. Bully Hunters is an
Organization set up by a ton of elite gamer -- girls to help supporting other gamer girls and destroy the bully
Poison that's ruining this earth. Let's have a look and see what we're talking about here
Welcome everyone. We're here at ignite gaming lounge. I'm Natalie Casanova also known as Zombie Unicorn.
This is a very serious topic, presented by Zombie Unicorn a reputable journalist and gamer who has
Assassinated over 25 bullies and put them in their own shallow graves take us off, Zombie Unicorn. Tell us more about this serious issue
I'm really excited to be here today for the first ever Bully Hunters Live
Bully Hunters Live will be going to bully's houses kicking down the doors and executing them in real life on a live feed
This is -- this issue is a serious one and it's really near and dear to my heart
making gaming a more safe and
s -- pecial place for everyone more welcoming place for all
So
Right on Zombie Unicorn you go girl. I'm great there with you
All I have to say one thing, fuck bullies! I was bullied at school
I know what it's like your son Charles is bullying on me. I called his mom and tattle on him and guess what happened
Him and his friends kicked my ass the next week!
Fuck bullies!
So.
So we know it's an organization set up to slam dunk on bullies, but how does it work? Let's find out.
So the Bully Hunter has now been alerted and should be joining the game soon
Okay pause right there now zoom into the bottom left corner
It says our Bully Hunter has just entered the game. See BULLY HUNTER_77 has joined the game
Now our victim the Rose Thorn and our Bully Hunter can communicate with one another
Let's take a look at how that plays out anyone who plays CS:GO, or any video game really knows how stupid
This is you first of all he's not in a competitive game because you can't leave and join a competitive game
So he's in a -- she's in a quick match game
Take a look at this clip to give you an idea of what voice chat actually sounds like in a quick match of csgo
*various overlapping voices*
Anyone who doesn't mute other players in quick match is a psychopath and
Probably the bully themselves.
Now our Bully Hunter has asked the Rose Thorn live in game who is harassing her.
And our victim then immediately replied. Let's zoom in again on the bottom left-hand corner
Now you see there the tool connected these two a victim with a Bully Hunter
Okay, so now BULLY HUNTER_77 knows the name of the harasser
And she is ready to take action
Name the bully. I will take care of this.
She's like it's uh Jeff Dunham, and then the bully hunters like mute Jeff Dunham. My service is done. Goodbye
You're a fucking idiot. That's what my Bully Hunter service would be like if you go to
EthanBullyHunter.web, you can sign up for my exclusive Bully Hunter package
Only fifty dollars a second. I'll join your game
You tell me the name of the bully and I'll tell you, "Mute that sucker, fool!"
She knows who the harasser is and she's on the hunt
You can still hear the harrassment in the background it doesn't stop
So now BULLY HUNTER_77 is looking for the harasser
And it looks like she's going to use her knife folks and there it is just pause right there
Let's back up and see that again.
Who did they make this for?
Anyone who actually plays CS:GO knows how painfully stupid this is. It's a quick match. She spawns right away
A brilliant knife move, very difficult.
And look right there, see in the lower left-hand corner. Let's pause that and zoom into that
Our bully hunter left the calling card message to the harasser. Harassment is not a game BullyHunters org
Oooh! Harassment is not a game
Unless you're a Bully Hunter. Then it is a game. This is like bringing your mom to school and confronting your bully on the playground
Bullying is not a game
She says and then she leaves you know what happens when she leaves they beat your ass
Bro because you're a little fucking pussy who narcs to your mom and brings them to the playground to tattle
Except that it's even worse because they just leave immediately afterwards also. It's just a game just mute them just mute them
*clapping intensifies*
Now that's what this is all about removing harassment from gaming. How did you do that?
How did you remove harassment from gaming if anything you brought in more harassment
Into the game if I could offer one suggestion to BullyHunters.org I would replace it with just an image of a person
closing their eyes
Because that is pretty much all you need to do to get rid of cyber bullying so I urge you all to just do this
And then you should be fine. Thank you guys for watching
PETA's back in the news, and I'm not talking about a delicious bread bowl that you put meat in. No the other pita
That's trying to take the meat out of your pita
Yes that PETA. a close-up photo of this monkey grinning at the camera went viral on the internet in
2011 according to the wildlife photographer David Slater
He left some of his equipment on the jungle floor
And the monkey had grabbed the camera and taken the selfie PETA brought a suit against Slater claiming he had infringed the monkeys copyright
PETA you seriously can't find more egregious animal violations than this? What are you doing?
Why are you doing this? For them to go and harass and sue this poor
Photographer who got the photo of his lifetime and say that the monkey, what is the monkey gonna do with the photograph you idiot
What's the point? Are you trying to deprive the world of this wonderful?
beautiful photograph of this animal that celebrates his intelligence and his curiosity and his
Inquisitiveness you want to deprive that of the world because you think that the monkey owns it? The monkey can't publish the photos. You're
Taking away monkey rights. PETA, You're a bunch of flippin Frick sticks dude get fricked PETA.
Here's a little something that was spotted in the London Underground that I thought was cute Papa's in the house
Pizza arrived good had a couple of saudi pops two great moves. Papa John keep it up
I have repeatedly tried to get sponsorships from Papa, and they always say no, okay
I've threatened to go to Little "Seizures" and eat their pizza. I have threatened to actually eat Little "Seizures"
Papa I got to tell you I'm upset I'm saddened and I feel like you're infringing on my copyright if you're not careful
I'm gonna hop on over to BullyHunters.org and they're gonna break into your house and assassinate you named you while you sleep
That's what BullyHun -- is that what they do or they just go in a video game and just they'll kill you in a video game
Sorry, that was over the top. I'm not -- definitely not doing that. Next story has
Clickbait gone too far. We've been going down the rabbit hole for a long time
And I have to say I think that the coin, and the wealth has finally flopped in the water
This is the bottom we have hit rock bottom
One killed equals removed one clothing with my 13 year old sister
We've done it guys
We are playing
Strip Poker incest on youtube everybody we've achieved
enlightenment we have made it to the bottom and finally I actually do want to get sincere and
Talk about something that YouTube has done a really beautiful awesome thing on
They've introduced this thing that they gave us beta access to called self certification and what that does is allows us
Instead of YouTube's algorithm and bots to decide what's in the video for example
I have all these options is it appropriate for all audience or
Teenagers and up does it have no profanity moderate profanity all the way down, and you get to select it
And they're doing a trial with like I don't know how many creators
But to see can they trust us to self-certify and since we've been using this just our last video the CPM is actually up.
It seems to be working great
I'm super happy
And I'm also looking forward to lying on all my future forms to get as much CPM as possible so kids who are watching this
Video because I marked it appropriate for all
Welcome don't show your parents that you're watching this video. Thank you YouTube.
I'm gonna make ten CPM cuz all the kids are gonna be watching this video. I'm kidding.
It's based on trust go to BullyHunters.org, if you've got a problem with it guys. Thank you for watching this report,
I'll see you next time and sleep with both eyes open because the Bully Hunters are always watching,
Buster.
I'm really excited to be here today, for the first ever Bully Hunters Live. This issue is a serious one and it's really near and dear to my heart. *clapping in background*