[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CROWD NOISES]
PRESIDENT OBAMA: --who now have served either
in Iraq or Afghanistan.
All of them have done extraordinary work,
and it is our moral obligation to make sure--
RANDALL: Look at this bird.
Thanks for the treat, stupid!
"Hey, come back here," says the honey badger.
Birds don't care.
And you know what?
The jackals do it, too.
Look at these little dogs--
TED WILLIAMS: --listen to one of our area radio announcers.
And I went as a field trip to go meet the guy,
and he looked nothing like what he sounded like.
So--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC - THE GREGORY BROTHERS, "WINNING"]
[MUSIC - MARIA ARAGON, "BORN THIS WAY"]
[MUSIC - M.I.A., "PAPER PLANES"]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SYMPHONY MUSIC PLAYING]
MALE SPEAKER: --and it looks like the tsunami has engulfed
several cities in Miyagi Prefecture.
Live footage of Miyagi as the tsunami--
[BABIES TALKING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PRINCE WILLIAM: --in sickness and in health.
ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY: To love and to cherish.
PRINCE WILLIAM: To love and to cherish.
ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY: Till death us do part.
PRINCE WILLIAM: Till death us do part.
ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY: According to God's holy law.
PRINCE WILLIAM: According to God's holy law.
MALE SPEAKER: --so all Jax and Stryker
are going to find is you dead, the robotics gone,
and my men waiting.
[MUSIC_-_NYAN_CAT]
[OLD TIME PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHOUTING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MALE SPEAKER: So you know, I went to the fridge,
and I opened up the meat drawer.
You know what the meat drawer is, right?
DOG: Yeah.
What was in there?
MALE SPEAKER: Well, I'll tell you what was in there.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON: My kid is an honor student,
which is nice-- nice-- nice.
You know, guys, I did a little research
and looked up the "Blue Book" value of this car,
and it's approximately two packs of menthols
and one bag of beef jerky--
[APPLAUSE]
CONAN O'BRIEN: You now have a crushing advantage
over 8% of the workforce.
[LAUGHTER]
CONAN O'BRIEN: I'm talking about dropout losers
like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MALE SPEAKER: We can stick around.
[MUSIC_-_JANE'S_ADDICTION]
[MUSIC AND SHOUTING]
HARRY POTTER: Let's finish this the way we started.
Together!
[MUSIC AND SHOUTING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MALE SPEAKER: Take two.
Two for one.
HARLEY MORENSTEIN: OK, I'll take two.
I'll take four.
MALE SPEAKER: {Is_it} {party?}
HARLEY MORENSTEIN: No.
MALE SPEAKER: Oh my god, that's an awesome thing.
MALE SPEAKER: Here you go.
Apple pies for all the children.
MALE SPEAKER: Just waiting for the page to load.
Hey, there we go!
A million subscribers!
Ahh!
Thank you so much.
COMPUTER VOICE: Congratulations.
[INAUDIBLE] for reaching 1 million subscribers--
[MUSIC - ADELE, "ROLLING IN THE DEEP"]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MALE SPEAKER: What?
MALE SPEAKER: Can I tell you something?
MALE SPEAKER: Yeah.
MALE SPEAKER: Will you love me, period?
MALE SPEAKER: Yes.
MALE SPEAKER: Like you'll always love me as long as I'm--
MALE SPEAKER: Don't worry.
MALE SPEAKER: I can do "Mrs. Doubtfire," [INAUDIBLE].
Oh, it's perfectly all right.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Let's see, take a series of photos.
I was doing that wrong.
MALE SPEAKER: That's OK.
FEMALE SPEAKER: And you can email these to selected media,
but why can't-- why won't it take a picture?
MALE SPEAKER: --gets better.
They touched hearts, drew tears, and brought smiles to faces.
You never know when your story can change a life
or when it can change the world.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MARK BLOCK: Mark Block here.
Since January, I've had the privilege
of being the chief of staff to Herman
Cain and the chief operating officer--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
STEVE JOBS: --decided to put me up for adoption.
She felt very strongly that I should
be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all
set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC - KARMIN, "LOOK AT ME NOW"]
LADY GAGA: --that poor boy.
[LAUGHTER]
FEMALE SPEAKER: There's also so many fan remixes and remakes
of your songs on YouTube.
I was wondering if you have a favorite there.
I know there's Maria, the young girl, I think really--
[YELLING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MALE SPEAKER: Dad, I'm gay.
MALE SPEAKER: I still love you, son.
[MUSIC - FLO RIDA, "GOOD FEELING"]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
FEMALE SPEAKER: --or the next president of Egypt
will be chosen by the people.
[MUSIC PLAYING]