Man 1: Group attention!
Man 2: Welcome to the new Calvary! We will ride into battle and this will be our horse.
Tripp: He thinks that's a horse. Forgive me for correcting you sir, but I'm pretty sure this is a
horse.
Man 3: Everybody check each other's feet like Godboldt and me.
Man 2: Now that young man's a leader.
Man 1: Yes sir. That other fella, the big strong one there, he wants to win medals.
Man 2: He's eager. This is normal on a battle field, normal.
Man 3: Where the hell is that coming from?
Tyler: Turn it up.
Tripp: Which side was it on?
Tyler: It was this side.
Tripp: Which side is it playing? Is it playing when it's facing up?
Tyler: I promise...dude!
Man 2: When Crazy Horse was a baby, he nursed from the breast of every woman in the tribe.
The Sioux race is #[02:34] way. Every warrior called every woman in the tribe mother. Every
older warrior, they called him grandfather.
Tyler: Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but what is your story about. I'm lost.
Man 2: My point here is that #[02:50] family.
Tyler: Oh!
Man 1: #[02:56] calls me grandpa, I'll kill you.
Tripp: Hey, grandpa!
Tyler: Pappy!
Female: Ladies, I'm just really glad you're here today. I know that some of you are new to the
Army and all of us are new to this post, so I thought we could pull our resources and cover
whatever questions we might have. So, why don't we start with item #1, food?
Tripp: Well I just couldn't believe the price of the gelatin here.
Tyler: How much was it?
Tripp: Six dollars a box!
Tyler: Now is that with double coupons or single coupons or...
Tripp: I didn't get double coupons.
Tyler: Who doesn't have double coupons?
Tripp: I don't have double coupons!
Tyler: Sunday paper, Tripp.
Tripp: I don't know that.
Tyler: We've got a real Dodo bird here. Am I right? A real nincompoop.
Tripp: What, what?
Female: That takes care of food shopping. So, item #2, laundry?
Tyler: Don't even get me started on laundry.
Tripp: Has anyone tried to use the permanent press cycle at the laundromat?
Tyler: I mean what good is a washing machine without permanent press?
Tripp: It's just a big hunk of metal, is all it is.
Tyler: Gosh.
Tripp: All my delicates were wet.
Female: Alright, I'll take care of that.
Female 2: But I've already complained.
Female: Well, we'll just go to the general.
Tripp: No, no that won't be necessary.
Tyler: No, no, he already took care of it.
Tripp: Yeah, I pooped in washer #3.
Tyler: And four.
Female 3: In a public laundromat?
Tyler: Yes, in a public laundromat. Ok, the permanent press didn't work. The owner came over
and started making fun of our nylons and our air fluff.
Female 3: That's awful. To say that his laundry's not good enough. I'm sorry! I just...
Tripp: Yeah, I'm sorry too, but not as sorry as that odors going to be. You know, I had Taco
Bell for dinner the night before, and actually, I had it for lunch, now that I think about it and
breakfast.
Female: Well, I guess that takes care of item #2.
Tyler: Well said.
Tripp: Right on your nose...on your mouth and your eye and nose. Nothing. No reaction.
Momma, poker, momma, poker, my poker face. Momma, poker, momma, poker, my poker face.
There it comes. There he is.
Captions by GetTranscribed.com