(spooky music)
(evil laughter)
- [Man] Wait, did you rewind this?
(groan)
Goddamnit, why did I hire you? - [Man] No, I'm sorry.
(rewinding sound)
- I am a mega scary movie fan.
Trailers and them, in general,
used to terrify me to no sleep.
- I don't even watch scary movies anymore. (laughs)
I have quite an imagination.
And I sleep with a knife,
so there you have it.
- I feel like scary movies are a staple
of us being human beings.
I feel like we need to be spooked once in a while.
- When I was probably nine, I saw a picture of Chucky,
and I didn't sleep for a week.
So I think I've matured a little bit since then,
but who knows, who knows.
(rewinding sounds) (slow rock music)
- Signs just (beeped) me right up.
I couldn't look at a baby monitor,
I couldn't really look at the sky.
I'm from Pennsylvania, so anytime I passed a corn field,
or the forest, a full panic-attack anxiety-inducing moment.
- Candyman.
One time in school, these girls thought it was funny
to close the bathroom door
and say Candyman a couple times.
I remember pushing one of the girls. (laughs)
Mind you, I'm not scared of a lot of things.
But, calling for Candyman?
Yeah, no. I was out.
- Silence of the Lambs.
Way too young.
It was like, my first experience with gore.
My parents were probably
too liberal with videos, growing up.
- Pee-wee Herman's Big Adventure was the one
that spooked me into oblivion when I was a kid.
I stole the tape from Blockbuster's
because I was not gonna pay for that.
I did not know what I was getting myself into.
(female scream)
(eerie electronic music)
- Halfway through the film, Joaquin Phoenix,
Okay, Joaquin looks a mess.
He's watching--
This woman on the news is like,
"What you're seeing will disturb you."
If a reporter really said that,
I would just turn the TV off.
And he gets closer, so here we go.
A Brazilian man who's filming this birthday party.
When does he say, "Move, children"?
(laughs)
Vamanos!
And they show this alien just kind of like,
jut out of the bushes.
And....
I know it's coming!
Bam!
Oh, I forgot how tall it was!
Look towards the camera.
And they rewind it because it's the 24-hour news cycle.
And then go away.
That's all they show.
What the fresh hell is that?
Nightmarish, to say the least.
M. Night, you had something going, girl.
And then...
the village.
- These girls were in the bathroom.
Oh my god. (laughs)
You're scared!
I kind of forgot what happens.
And he broke out of the (beeping) mirror.
(crash)
(screams then laughs)
As if he was like Batman.
All right, dumb bitch.
Why would you go back inside of your apartment?
I feel like this (beeping) girl's dumb.
I also remember
Why are you trying--
Oh shit!
He was covered in bees.
Ew!
So this is more nasty than scary.
I have goosebumps.
(shudders)
Bitch...
Actually, I don't think I should do this. (laughs)
I hate scary movies! - [Man] I'm sorry.
- Why did I watch that? (laughs)
- Large Marge was this character that made me
not have any trust in anyone named Marge,
or anyone wearing red flannel ever again.
Man, this is giving me memories.
She picks up Pee-wee.
This is why I'm not messing with hitchhiking, bro.
- Ten years ago--
- (laughs) She just starts telling this story, man.
And she's like,
- It looked like this!
- And then her face turns into some weird
(silly evil laughter followed by scream)
(laughs)
Oh no.
- Large Marge sent ya! - Large Marge sent ya.
(evil laughter)
I did not sleep that night.
- Oh no, I don't like this.
Hannibal Lecter is being held in a cage.
(groans then laughs)
He kills the guard.
(shouts) Oh my god!
(laughs)
He didn't even eat the potato.
And puts him as like, a bloody death angel above the cage.
(shouts)
Still makes me so tense. (laughs)
And he wears the dude's face.
(strained grunt)
No, it's still gross!
(screams then laughs)
Oh no, it stopped playing.
It's almost even worse!
Still spooky, but I thought I was over it,
but I guess not. (laughs)
I'm gonna probably just stick to Hot Rod
for the next two years of my life.
- I'm embarrassed to say it still kind of freaks me out.
I can't believe that that, it did, she got me.
She got me good. (laughs)
- Man that shit wasn't that scary at all.
I laughed
pretty damn hard at it. (Man laughs)
- Uh, it's kind of scary, isn't it?
Like, there's a man filled with bees.
I'm all right, I got this.
I'm sleeping by myself tonight.
(ghostly music)
(menacing laughter)