(Music)
Hellooo everybody! I am super excited to announce that next year I will be participating in Write Hive.
Write Hive is an online writing convention designed to take all the fun of a
physical convention while eliminating the barrier to entry. Basically, if you've got
Internet access, you can attend. It's that simple! There will be panels featuring TONS of writers and
authors. Some will be speaking over on YouTube, others will be on Twitch or Reddit. I will be
doing a Q&A all about life as a full time author over on Twitter. Be sure to mark your calendars
for April 18th and 19th, because that is when the Write Hive convention is going down. It's
going to be super fun and informative, so I hope I'll see you there! Moving on,
it's the holiday season. A lot of us are going to be stuck with our families, which means it's
the perfect time to discuss shitty family-related tropes in fiction. It's relevant, I promise! I'm
gonna be breaking down the worst tropes I've seen in fiction that revolve around families, whether
it's parental relationships, marriages, babies, siblings, whatever. We're gonna bitch about 'em!
Trigger warning: I will be briefly mentioning physical and sexual abuse in point Number
Three (3) of this video, so if you want to avoid listening to that, skip this time in the video
and you should be good. I will also be mentioning child abuse in point Number Eight (8), so if you
want to skip that, as well, here is the time for you to avoid. Can't talk about shitty families
without discussing abuse, am I right? On to the whining! Number One (1): Where are the parents?
This teenager is going on an epic adventure and their parents are okay with it? We don't know,
because although they're alive and they exist, we haven't heard a single mention of them since
the start of the book. I don't know about you guys, maybe you were off battling vampires at sixteen.
But when I was sixteen, my parents required a phone call just to let them know that I got to my
boyfriend's house safely. Maybe I'm too old and I just don't get it, or maybe all the parents
of young adult protagonists are catatonic. Who's to say? Number Two (2): It's okay,
she has brothers. How else is a woman gonna learn how to do manly things like change a tire, or
play sports, or manage her money? Everyone knows women can't do math! Thank God she has brothers,
or else she'd be absolutely helpless. I don't have brothers, and I can't even wipe my ass.
It's filthy! I can't imagine a world where women are capable of having their own interests or have
female family members who can teach them basic skills that aren't actually gender specific at
all! It's not like I learned about finance from my mom who's an accountant. That sounds made up!
I mean, can you believe? Number Three (3): The abusive, alcoholic father figure. This douche
comes in a wide variety including dad, stepdad, mom's new boyfriend, or freeloading uncle. The
story most likely follows one of his children. If the child is male, he hates his dad and regularly
gets into fistfights with him. If the child is female, she's a victim of his sexual abuse,
because of course she is! Writers just can't miss an opportunity to sexually abuse a woman. It's not
that this trope is unrealistic; it's absolutely believable. It's just that it's so damn common.
I genuinely cannot think of the last contemporary novel I've read that didn't include some kind of
alcoholic dad. There are other fathers in the world to write about, I promise you. Number
Four (4): The long-lost twin. Unless a character was adopted, I find the whole ‘secret family member
you knew nothing about’ element to be kind of a reach. It feels a bit like a soap opera. Next,
a character is gonna get amnesia, then fall in love with a wizard. How exactly does a twin become
lost? Does the parent just drop it? Pretty sure that would kill an infant...their skulls are soft.
And it's not just long-lost twins; it's really common–especially in series that are starting
to get stale–for the writer to throw in some kind of secret relative. “Your dad isn't ACTUALLY your
dad! It's the murderous king who squirted you into existence!” This doesn't feel forced at
all... Number Five (5): The evil career woman. She doesn't want marriage and she doesn't want kids.
Her life is fulfilled by her rewarding career...and that's bullshit! Women were put on this earth
for one reason and one reason only: to incubate fetuses! A woman working hard to cultivate a skill
she's passionate about? Is that even real? It goes against nature! But don't worry guys, the author
isn't gonna leave you hanging. Eventually, she'll meet the right guy who will help her realize all
those years she spent building a life for herself were a complete waste of time. All she needed was
his seed to live happily ever after, just as Crog intended. Number Six (6): The clock is ticking.
Now, this woman is a reflection of real women, because she is desperate for a husband–and more
specifically, his semen! She needs to make a baby and she needs to do it now, because the clock is
ticking! I think it's great if you want to be a mom. I think knowing what you want out of life,
whatever it is, is fantastic. It's just this particular trope is so overdone and always
portrayed as the standard for womanhood. We got other priorities, I promise you! Plus,
these women don't want to be wives and mothers, they are DESPERATE for it. It's embarrassing.
Pro Tip: if you are losing your mind searching for some skeet, you will scare the baby batter makers
away. Ease up a bit. Number Seven (7): A mother's envy. Aren't all moms jealous of their youthful,
beautiful daughters? I mean, that's how it goes, right? “I made her. She's young and pretty! Now,
I hate the bitch.” I don't know how this became a thing in fiction. I don't know anyone who has
actually experienced this in real life. I've seen women jealous of younger, beautiful women, but not
ones who came out of their own body. I've seen stage moms. I've seen abusive moms. But jealous
moms 'cause their kid is pretty? Wouldn't they be proud they passed on pretty genes? That seems like
a more realistic response. I don't know, man, this shit sounds fake. Number Eight (8): Be a
man. (Sings) "Let's get down to business...to destroy a young boy's psyche." (Normal Speaking Voice) I see
a lot of shit in fiction where dads pride themselves on teaching their sons how to be
a real man. Be hard. Be firm. Be in charge. I'm gonna teach you this by beatin' the shit out of
you. Boys don't cry. Boys don't express emotion. They just bottle it all up inside until they
explode in a violent rage and end up on the news. I don't mind when this is depicted accurately,
as in the boy grows up to be the serial killer he was destined to be, but it gives me pause
when it's romanticized or treated like good parenting. If by teaching your son to 'be a
man' means turning his ego into a fragile, brittle shell of what it once was, then congratulations,
you've nailed it! Number Nine (9): The fix-it baby! Because nothing fixes a toxic relationship
like bringing a completely helpless third party into the mix. This trope is particularly prevalent
in the romance genre, especially if it involves an oopsie-baby. We had a one-night stand with
zero protection and you're a controlling asshole, but between your abs and the baby I don't want,
I have a feeling we'll be together forever. Muscle definition and shitty diapers solve all
problems! Statistically speaking, relationships tend to get weaker after a baby is introduced,
because well, when you can't bathe or sleep and your genitals are literally falling apart,
it's hard to feel appreciative toward the person who is directly responsible for the hellfire that
your life has become. And Number Ten (10): All in the family. When the fuck did romanticizing
incest become on trend? I'm not talking about fictional incest in general. Sometimes gross shit
is relevant to a story. I'm talking about legit shipping twins with one another, or
siblings. I've even seen an actual romance between a father and daughter. WHAT? Who's writing these
stories? Mountain people? Are they being produced through 'Deliverance Publishing?' Maybe ‘The Hills
Have Eyes Books?’ And who are the people consuming these stories so prolifically that it has become
an actual trend? My brain is bleeding, and I don't want to be on this planet anymore. So that's all
I got for you today! For those of you who find family time throughout the holidays to be an
absolute nightmare, just remember this video. Let these tropes serve as proof that shit could be a
whole lot worse! At least you're not fucking your brother. Unless you are, in which case,
what the fuck? Don't forget to subscribe to my channel! I post new videos on Wednesdays,
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Tumblr, Facebook–and of course, you can tweet me @JennaMoreci! Bye! (Male Voice) Hey,
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