What do you call a sleepy dinosaur?
-Sleeposaurus rex
A brontosnorous
*Rose laughs*
What do dinosaurs have, that no other animals have?
A history of extinction!
Dinosaur babies
*Buzzer sound for fail*
What is it that YouTubers have that other people don't have?
Fame
Face ready for camera
A well-worn sofa
Loneliness
Intro "group hug"
Hi guys, and welcome to the internet
This week, Rosie and I are drinking tea
and Rosie's drinking it through a dinosaur straw
to preserve her lipstick
What have you called your dinosaur straw?
A dinostraw!
That makes perfect sense
Now, talk to me about what you were talking about a minute ago, with the numbers
Ok right, I have a huge - like, I need to rearrange the numbers, like it's getting to me
So, I've realised why I get confused with numbers
Cause the other night I was like "oh 100,000 isn't 100,000"
*sighs* It's confusing
But anyway, basically
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...
*Rose interjecting* TEN!
*Rose sighs at Rosie's terrible math skills*
One-ty, two-
One-ty, one-two
One-three, one-four
Right, let me just quickly explain
Rosie doesn't understand why the number 11 is called 'eleven'
-But not 'one-ty-one'
When it could be called 'one-ty-one'
Right, and someone went "uh because 21 isn't called two-ty-one"
I said "yeah, but 41 is forty-one"
and so is 'sixty-one'
And 'seventy-one'
'Seventy-one' and 'eighty-one'!
and 'eighty'
So why isn't 11 called 'one-ty'?
No, 10 would be 'one-ty'
Then it would be 'one-ty-one'
'One-ty-two'
'Three-ty-one
No, one-ty-three, one-ty-four, one-ty-five, one-ty-six, one-ty-seven, one-ty-eight, one-ty-nine
Two-ty
Two-ty-one
Two-ty-two
Two-ty-three, right
*continues in this fashion*
Threety, right
*continues*
Okay, you're starting -
Wait wait wait! *continues*
FORTY!
But then if it's teen for ten, right
Twenty should be two times teen
It's just so confusing
So it should be one-ty, two-ty
So, for example, on my next birthday, I'm going to be two-ty-seven
You're gonna be two-ty-nine, but we don't speak about that
So let's just say that you're also two-ty-seven and I'm two-ty-five
So, 100 should be ten-ty
and then it will be - no, it'll be ten...ten-ty
Yep
*Rosie to herself* No, what's 100, Rosie?
Ten-hundred-ty
No, what is it?
Oh, yes, it will be ten-ty!
What would 1 million be?
I think 1 million's just 1 million
Just call it 'rich'
Why is the equator called the equator
when it equates to nothing?
Surely it should be called the circumference
Which makes absolute logical reasoning
Yeah, what does it equate to?
Nothing!
It's not like this x this = the equator
Or call it hotty-line
or the hotty-width
You know?
This is why I married you
because I like the way your brain works
It makes perfect logical sense
Why would they be like, right, there's this line that goes round the globe
which, by the way
I'm still not sure if that's a physical line
If I wear lipstick, does that make me a lipstick bisexual?
The only category of bisexual is flighty
Now, that's not part of the number
You're thinking of one-ty
It's not flighty, it's ninety!
Let's get into the real core of this video
Okay, one-ty-one, one-ty-two, one-ty-three
Oh my god, can you imagine if you're playing hide-and-seek
You're like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
TEN-TY!
No, it's one-ty, I'm so confused!
And it should be a two-ty pence
How much cuter is that?
Can you lend me two-ty pence?
Rosie and I have been thinking
about how characters
are always killed off if they are gay
Yeah, that's actually a theory we learned about in University, did you know?
It's actually a theory
It's no theory, it's reality
Yeah, well some guy, can't think what he was called
Might not be a guy, might be a woman, let's not be sexist, it probably was a woman
someone said
the only way the mainstream media can have gay characters
especially central characters
is if one of them dies
AKA Brokeback Mountain
What happens? He dies
Also, they're never really the central characters, they're always the side character
or the friend
Well, that's the only way they can survive, if they're just someone who it's not about
but if it's the main character, they have to die, right?
But do you know what I was thinking about?
What?
I thought of a main character who doesn't die who's gay
WHO?
And then I had this thing
Right, do you remember when we went to a party
and there was someone so young there
that they didn't know who the Spice Girls were?
I know, horrifying
Well, I remember this great lesbian thing, I had an epiphany while I was brushing my teeth today
I was like fuck, young lesbians aren't gonna know about this
and everyone's like "watch Supergirl, watch The 100"
And I'm like "bitches, do you even remember Tipping the Velvet?"
Because that is incredible!
Okay yeah, the L Word's old
but people go back and watch it
because it was the only thing we had
apart from Lip Service, which I would rather call Shit Service
So, Tipping the Velvet, am I right?
Also, Fingersmith, am I right?
What's better than a period drama?
A lesbian period drama
which is literally called Fingersmith
AM I RIGHT?
Even though that refers to the theft, I'm pretty sure
But it's a double entendre
I have never seen The 100
which is what number?
Tenty-ten
No, TENTY-HUNDRED!
Okay, we've never seen the one-ty-ty
We've never watched it
But we realised that they killed off Clexa
Was it just one part of Clexa?
I imagine so
Okay, I'm going to review this, knowing nothing about it
Yeah and I'm also going to try and find some clips of Supergirl as well
I've also read, even though I haven't watched it, but serious spoiler alert
But I'm really wanting to watch The Handmaid's Tale
which is based on a book
Now, that's this thing which has pages
It's B O O O K
*Buzzer sound for fail*
We're gonna dive in and look at this lesbian death
Okay
But look, in my opinion
as long as it's not lesbian bed death, it's cool
How are you saying that physical death is better than lesbian bed death?
If they're physically dead, they can't have sex to begin with!
Twilight
I know, but she's not technically a lesbian in that yet
He's more of a lesbian in that than she is
Yeah, and he's dead
so lesbian bed death
Do you know what?
Our friend texted me the other day
and said "are you registered to vote?"
and I was like "yeah"
and then she was like "not gonna lie, I didn't think you were registered to vote"
and I was like "mate, I'm not as dumb as I appear online"
and then, wait what did she say?
She said something like "yeah, you are"
Look at Buffy
Joss Whedon was like "right, what can we do, how can we mix this up?"
Kill the lesbian
Let's kill her, it's gonna piss off all the lesbians
It really hurt, I thought she was gonna come back for a bit
but she didn't come back
It's like, I'm sorry, but you literally live in the Buffyverse
you could have easily brought the lesbian back
It's like, you brought Buffy back!
Right, let's react to Clexa!
The death scene in Clexa
I've never ever watched this
I have no emotional attachment to these people
But I know that I would if I'd watched it all
So I'm speaking for all of you guys
Actually, I think we watched the pilot, if it's from The 100
Can I say, I typed in 'Clexa death scene'
and what's come up is 'Clexa death scene: is not the end!'
So we're going to watch this death scene completely out of context
So...I feel like we're almost fraudulent for doing this
because we haven't lived through this
No, cause it's good that we're doing this
Let me tell you why
Go on
Cause we're looking at it
Is it objectively or subjectively?
Objectively
Either way, we're non-biased
We don't know whether it's a good show or a bad show
But we're going in and we're gonna kinda narrate this lesbian not bed-death
Fuck!
She's speaking another language
She understands her even though she's not speaking the same language
Why's her girlfriend dying?
Why has she got mascara around her mouth?
WHY HAS SHE GOT MASCARA AROUND HER MOUTH?
Could they not, like, clean her mouth?
Why is she on the shag rug as well?
When she's not getting shagged
Okay, there's no time for poetry, I mean that's a little gay
NO!
She's not going to find another love!
She's going to love you, and you only!
No!
Aww
Stop saying bye!
Oh my god!
I wouldn't say bye
I'd be like "no, hold on!"
"Let's shag one last time"
It's upsetting me!
Shag her now while there's still time!
There's still time!
Get the men out the room
Yeah, fuck off men!
So she can at least fingersmith her before she goes
Aw, she's going for the kiss
Yeah, she's kissing the sicky mouth
The men are loving it
FUCK!
Is she dead?
Yeah, it looks like she's dead
Fuck
WHAT KIND OF LESBIAN SNUFF FILM IS THIS?
All the men could have left the room so she could at least lay next to her
And licked it?
I'd leave her eyes open so I could look at them for a bit longer
No, cause they might start hazing over
Do they do that?
That man needs to fuck off and let her have that moment
Do you think we should start watching this, cause I think they're both pretty fit
Yeah, they are really fit
Which one do you think is more fit?
Rosie, you can't play off women against each other
Smash or pass?
Smash both
He's crying too, do you reckon he secretly loved her?
Maybe he's her dad
Fuck, are they already moving her around?
No point putting her in recovery position now
Flashback!
*Rosie making crying noises*
That looked like their first kiss
Oh my god!
She's always had mascara around her face!
Do you think they'll meet again?
I think she's dead
I love a good blonde and brunette story
They're both blonde, aren't they?
No, that one's clearly a brunette!
Alright, chill out
That one's clearly blonde!
I bet the blonde one's bi
#1: Supergirl lesbian kiss scene, Season 2, episode 6
Okay
That means there must be some kind of like Season 1 build-up
And then below, it says "Alex and Maggie kissing"
Let's watch it!
She's fit
Hey
LESBIANS!
She's being too straight
*Both gasp*
Oh, she's not into it
That's so brave, but I don't ship this in any way
No
"I'm straight, you didn't do anything wrong"
They're in the same place!
Oh my god, they're not cool
Well that was a horrible thing I just watched!
I'm not watching that!
That girl's basically straight
Right, I found what I want you to watch
What?
Every lesbian kiss on PLL
11 minutes worth!
Sold!
Yeah, so I love PLL
I've watched it all
Actually I think I've got one final episode to watch
Fine. I've never seen Pretty Little Liars
because every time I see it, there always seems to be like a dramatic event
It always ends on a cliffhanger every second
No no, in every conversation
It will be like *dun dun dun dun DUN!*
And then it's the next scene
*dun dun dun dun DUN*
It's like how many *dun dun duns* can you actually have?
Very accurate, right
Let me decide for myself whether I'm gonna ship anyone who's anyone in PLL
Show me some gay!
I'm one of those lesbians
who has to be like
emotionally attached to the storyline to really enjoy the kiss
so show me a kiss out of context and I can only find it a certain degree of hot
but if I know that it's like "oh they've had such a rough, emotional journey"
"oh they used to be in a band together and one of them left but they still love each other"
Think that's their first kiss
Why are they at a movie theatre on their own?
Because they went on a date
*Rose gasps*
They spilled the popcorn, fuck!
Yeah, I'm in!
I'm into the Shay Mitchell babe, who's this?
This is her first girlfriend
That's her mum
*Rose gasps*
*Both gasp*
Ugh, she made her jealous
I hate Paige
She's aggressive, I'm not into it
I'm not into it at all, I hate her
Does she ever kiss Ashley Benson?
No
Why?
Well, because Ashley Benson's straight
That's stupid
That was good, right?
That was really good
Am I right?
I'm 100% watching it from Season 1
Are you really?
No
Pretty Little Liars is pretty gay
It's really gay!
And has any gay character died on Pretty Little Liars?
One
Let's talk about all the films that have a heterosexual protagonist story arc
That they missed out on a lesbian story arc
Right, so films that would have been better if they were gay
Right, first of all: all of them
All of them
Titanic
Because that was a little gay, wasn't it
Yeah, oh my god
Yeah, that would be so good if she the ship and met a girl
and they did the dirty in the carriage
And no one died because that's not allowed in our lesbian films
Yeah, and maybe her boyfriend would be less controlling
Because she would be like "I'm just off with my girlfriend to walk round the decks"
I love it
And they'd be, like, fingersmithing
Oh, and when they go to the lower deck
where all the cool Irish people are dancing
they'd all be cool, fit Irish gays
Or she'd meet an Irish girl
Oh my god what if she met a Galway girl
Passengers
Lesbian, lesbian
So she wakes up a woman
Yeah
Which is more forgivable
Thelma and Louise
Well, that was a little lesbian, wasn't it? Come on
Well it was a little bit, but there was no-
They died for each other, did they not?
Well, you say it was lesbian, but she shags Brad Pitt
Yeah, well, every lesbian shagged Brad Pitt
Look at Angelina Jolie
Die Hard!
DIE HARD!
Okay, right, so basically
Lesbian wives are going through a divorce
Yeah
And they've like, she's moved
They've separated
Yeah, and then lesbian, kind of like
Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider
comes in, saves the day
and they Gay Hard
GAY HARD!
They get back together and they gay hard
Gay Hard
Also,The Sixth Sense
That could be The Gay Sense
Or it could be Gaydar
And he's like "I see gay people"
and he just has this gaydar
and he just sees gay people everywhere
There's so much we could do with this!
Why aren't we filmmakers and directors and producers?
I don't know Rosie, one day I think it's gonna happen
Maybe after our stint on Orange is the New Black
Ah, you're right
You know, then we'll be like "we've been in some films"
We're going to kick off our career
Alright guys, that's it from us
If you can think of any films that would have been better gay films
then leave us a comment below
Don't forget to like and subscribe
Yeah, let's get this video up to one-ty-ty likes
Alright, take care of yourselves!
BYE!