- DID YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND?
[cheers and applause]
ARE YOU EXCITED THAT IT'S MONDAY?
all: YES!
- WOULD YOU CHEER NO MATTER WHAT I SAID?
all: YEAH!
I HAD A REALLY GOOD WEEKEND.
I MENTIONED BEFORE, PORTIA AND I MOVED RECENTLY.
WE SPENT SATURDAY UNPACKING, AND--
WELL, PORTIA UNPACKED AND I POPPED BUBBLE WRAP,
BECAUSE THAT IS-- THERE'S NOTHING MORE FUN
THAN POPPING THAT.
AND WE SPENT ALMOST THE WHOLE DAY
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT THE COUCH,
AND WE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT IT,
SO ON SUNDAY, WE PACKED UP EVERYTHING--WE'RE MOVING AGAIN.
'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT IT.
I ALSO SPENT SOME TIME OVER THE WEEKEND WATCHING WEB VIDEOS,
AND I WANT TO SHARE SOME WITH YOU THAT I ENJOYED
'CAUSE IF I SEE IT AND I THINK IT'S CUTE, YOU SHOULD SEE IT.
SO HERE'S AN ADORABLE BABY WAKING UP FROM A NAP.
[upbeat music playing]
[cheers and applause]
AH.
SEE, NOW I WANT A BABY.
SHE'S NOT GONNA LIKE IT, BUT PORTIA WAKES UP THAT SAME WAY
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
HERE'S A GUY GETTING SCARED BY HIS FRIENDS.
BEST EPISODE IS DEFINITELY ONE WITH--PISS OUT BY--
[gasps]
WHAT THE [bleep]?
[bleep]? [laughing]
DUDE. [laughing]
[screams]
OH!
[cheers and applause]
- OH.
[sighs]
THAT GAVE ME AN IDEA.
HEY, ANDY-- NO, I'M KIDDING.
I'M NOT GONNA SCARE YOU. [laughter]
NOT YET, BUT I WILL.
[laughter]
ALL RIGHT.
NO, I'M NOT GONNA SCARE YOU.
[laughter]
ALL RIGHT.
HERE IS A VERY, VERY PATIENT CAT.
audience: AWW!
- AWW.
NOW I WANT A BABY, A KITTY, AND A PUPPY.
[cheers and applause]
HERE IS A DOG GETTING OUT OF A DOGHOUSE.
- OH, MY GOSH.
IT'S A CLOWN CAR.
OH, MY GOSH.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE.
FIVE DOGGIES?
audience: AWW!
[cheers and applause]
- SO TO YOU PARENTS OUT THERE,
IF YOUR KIDS COMPLAIN ABOUT SHARING A ROOM,
SHOW THEM THAT VIDEO.
HERE IS-- I'LL SHOW THIS TWICE, 'CAUSE THIS IS AMAZING.
THIS IS AN AMAZING GOLF TRICK.
click! whack!
audience: WHOA.
- THAT WAS COOL.
[laughter]
- YOU CAN SEE THE GUY IN FRONT,
THEY'VE TRIED THIS MANY, MANY TIMES,
'CAUSE THERE'S A BUNCH OF BALLS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM,
BUT LET'S SHOW IT ONE MORE TIME.
click! whack!
audience: WHOA.
- OH, MY GOSH.
THAT WAS COOL.
- THAT'S-- [laughter]
I CAN DO THAT, BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.
[cheers and applause] I CAN, THOUGH.
[cheers and applause]
HERE'S SOMEONE BEING INTERVIEWED ON THE NEWS.
- THAT'S THE MEDIA/ENTERTAINMENT SIDE.
- OKAY, DR. WAYNE HOPE,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING IN THIS MORNING
TO ENLIGHTEN US ON RUPERT MURDOCH.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
WELL, STILL TO COME, WHO'S BEEN SLEEPING OUT IN THE COLD
TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HOMELESSNESS IN NEW ZEALAND.
AND WE'LL BRING YOU MORE ON THE KIM DOTCOM SAGA
AS HIS LAWYER TELLS FIRSTLINE
THE NEW ZEALAND AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN OVERREACTING.
BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO LOOK AT THE SPORTS STORIES
MAKING NEWS THIS MORNING.
HERE'S SAM.
- THANKS, SIMON.
[laughter] - [sighs]
HE DOESN'T KNOW CAMERAS WERE ON.
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS NOT ON THE INTERNET YET,
AND THE ONLY REASON IT IS
IS 'CAUSE IT JUST HAPPENED RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW.
[Nicky Minaj's "Super Bass" playing]
[cheers and applause]
ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
IF YOU HAVE A WEB VIDEO YOU THINK I SHOULD SEE,
PLEASE SEND 'EM TO ME.
RIGHT NOW LET'S ALL TRY TO TOP THAT DANCE THAT THEY JUST DID.