Well, here it is.
I must say, the idea of placing my member into this hole
to be pleasured by some mystery woman
has me excited, yes,
but also pretty nervous.
Here we go. [clears throat]
[zipper unzips]
[exhales]
So far, uh...
nothing to report.
♪ ♪
Oh, sorry. Just using the glory hole.
(Forrest) I had arrived a bit early,
but once the sun went down
and the park was officially closed,
the glory hole was officially open.
The name was right. It was glorious.
The woman behind that stall had a talent
well beyond anything I had ever experienced...
Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
(Forrest) Well beyond anything my ex-wife
had demonstrated on any of my birthdays.
Wow.
(Forrest) I returned the next night
and the night after that,
and on each occasion, the glory was equally glorious.
There was etiquette to consider...
Whoa, excuse me.
- I'm next for the glory hole. - Hey, man.
(Forrest) But in general, I found no downside to the glory hole.
Myself and the other men enjoying this woman's talents
were experiencing sexual intimacy at its best.
I was completely satisfied
without having to cater to my partner's pleasure.
I knew it would be a violation of the spirit of the glory hole
to meet the generous woman on the other side
of that partition,
but wasn't it equally unforgivable
to let the chance to meet her pass?
Yes, it was.
Oh, I'm sorry.
The woman who was just in here, did you see where she went?
No.
(Forrest) I began spending all my spare time in the park
searching for my mystery mouth.
And then, it happened.
- Hey there. - Hi.
I've been seeing you here a bunch lately.
- [laughing] - It's funny.
Yeah. I'm Forrest.
- I'm Lynn. - Her name was Lynn.
(Forrest) She was a PhD student
and exactly the sort of sweet-natured person who,
it seemed to me, would selflessly pleasure strange men
through the partition of a bathroom stall.
Hey, I got a crazy question for you.
Hmm?
Are you the woman in the glory hole?
I have been putting my erect penis in that hole
for the past week, and I just thought I recognized you.
Wait, hang on.
(Forrest) Was she the wrong woman,
or was she indeed the maven of the stall?
I would never know.
In most relationships, there is a wall of some sort
keeping two people from truly seeing each other.
A glory hole makes that wall literal,
but it doesn't make the experience
any less meaningful.
Glory holes, 4 1/2 stars.
You never did find the woman
behind that glory hole, did you, Forrest?
Sadly, no, I did not.
I have a feeling you never will.