- Ed Sheeran has the voice of an angel and I will.
(beep) anyone who says otherwise.
(jazz music starts)
(typewriter keys clicking)
(jazz music fades)
- Let's see how well you know your fellow compatriots,
thanks to these closeup photos
of previous Marvel superheroes, okay?
- Okay.
- Are you ready?
- That's Sebastian Stan. Winter Soldier.
- That is Sebastian Stan.
- I could tell by the position that it was most likely
the winter soldier being put through one of his um
- It's a spa day for winter soldier.
It's a, it's a strange set of abs.
- Did you just give me a hint?
- I'm helping you out, buddy.
This is your first goal.
- It's not an absolute shred. It's like a
- [Josh] Wow.
- It's like, more of like an approachable, like relatable.
(Josh chuckles)
I would say Benedict Cumberbatch.
- [Josh] Yes.
- Dr. Strange.
- You just called him out of shape.
- I called him in a very relatable shape.
(Josh giggles)
Oh my!
Okay. Okay.
- What's going on there?
- I'm gonna have to say Anthony Mackie.
- That is Anthony. Is it the belt?
How did you know?
- It's this pectoral region. They're just like killer packs.
Interesting. Interesting.
I'm gonna say Peter Quill.
(alarm buzzing)
- It is not.
- [Simu] Oh no! Oh no! Damn it.
Yeah. Yeah. 100%.
- It's okay, don't beat yourself up.
- I should've gone with that one.
- Time for redemption. Next one.
(enticing jazz music plays)
- The most handsome fellow in all the land, of course.
That would be myself. That would be myself.
- That smile just couldn't escape your face.
(Simu laughing)
You were just so happy to see yourself.
- Ooh, that's pixelated.
- Yeah. It's hard.
- [Simu] Okay. I feel like it's Robert Downey Jr.
I feel like that's Ironman, no?
(alarm buzzing)
- It's not. It is Loki himself.
- Oh no!
I don't know my abs as well as I should.
I was doing so well.
- You did start very strong. Let's finish strong.
Ooh. There's an injury here.
- That's a lot of abs.
- Unlikely abs. There's your hint. Unlikely.
- This Peter Quill?
- Nope. Let's do the reveal.
(alarm buzzing)
It's the little guy. It's ant man.
- Oh my God.
- [Josh] No, funny man. Funny man done good.
- Paul Rudd. My goodness.
There are a lot of abs in the MCU.
Okay, I know this one just by the sheer size of it.
- [Josh] Yup.
- That is none other than Chris Hemsworth, AKA Thor.
- The gold standard.
- Oof!
- It's hot in there. It's hot in here.
- That is a hot piece of pie.
Um, I'm gonna have to say, no, wait.
Wait, no, I changed my answer.
I had thought that maybe it was Mr. Chris Evans,
but I do believe I have the wrong Chris.
Third time's a charm. Chris Pratt.
Peter Quill. Star Lord.
Yes.
Yes!
- Okay. We'll end that there on that high note.
Amazing. Well done.
I wanna pose some situations,
some uniquely superhero MARVEL-ous situations.
And you give me the best advice
that you'd give these superheroes. Okay?
- Okay. Okay
- [Josh] You ready?
- Yep.
- Okay. Bruce Banner, AKA The Hulk.
He can't control his temper.
He keeps having to buy new shirts.
How would you advise him to relax?
(Awkwafina chuckles)
- One word, polyester.
Okay, they make these things called jeggings, Hulk.
Jeans and leggings combined into one.
And what happens is, as you expand,
the fabric goes with you.
What Hulk needs is a full body spec.
- Rest of the guardians of the galaxy is starting
to get sick of Star Wars music choices.
Now, how do you tell a friend you hate their music?
- Every time the song comes on,
just talk over it really loudly.
- Right. What else is going on in your life right now?
- Do you have "Les Quotes?"
Or just say, "I hate this song," while it's playing.
(Josh chuckles)
- Shang-Chi very proud of his body,
but unfortunately, he just ran into Thor at the gym.
What do you say to your buddy?
- There's only one way to really kind of solve this debate,
and that is a game of UNO.
(Josh chuckles)
Because I wonder who would be
the person that throws out the wild +4 at the very end
and then just kinda walks away.
- Do they even have UNO in Asgard?
He might not even understand the rules.
- I think they have a version of it
and it's a very ubiquitous game.
- You're good friends with both the Falcon
and the Winter Soldier.
They have sadly had a horrible falling out.
How do you sort this out?
- Again, I think a game of UNO, metaphorically,
I think would really
would just, would really do that.
I don't know. I think that they should maybe look into NBTI
because it's possible that that one's in the STP
and one's in the NFJ, and one is on INFT.
Don't quote me on that.
I'm not an NBTI specialist. I'm just here.
(jazz music plays)
- Some "Would you rather" questions, Shang-Chi inspired
Okay?
- Yes.
- Cool. Would you rather be the world's greatest karaoke-er
or bus driver?
- Would that mean like, kind of Evel Knievel,
being able to drift, being able to kinda
(Josh chuckles)
- I think it's just like you're super competent, reliable.
- Best karaoke.
- Yeah.
(Josh laughing)
- Would you rather, Simu, get hit in the face
with Captain America's shield or Thor's hammer?
- Oh, an unstoppable force or an immovable object.
That's interesting.
I would have to say, I'll take the shield, but not sideways.
I'll take it flat on, I might break my nose or something,
but I just feel like a hammer would annihilate me.
- Yeah, that might be the end.
- I probably wouldn't have a face after that.
- Would you rather win an Oscar
or never have to go to the bathroom again?
- What?
- Where does it go?
- What does science have to say about that one?
- I'm working on some stuff here.
- Where does it go?
- I don't know yet.
- God, if we don't have to go to the bathroom,
things would be tight. It is, yeah.
- [Josh] Yeah, it's worth dreaming about.
Okay, would you rather be eaten by Rocket Raccoon
or an actual raccoon?
- I'll take actual raccoon.
Rocket just feels so much angrier.
Now that being said though, that raccoon
does that raccoon have rabies?
- Yes. Let's say that this is a rabies infected
- Okay. Well then, I will say maybe Rocket.
He might spare me a moment of mercy.
- Would you rather your closest confidant be
your grandmother from Northern Queens or Shang-Chi?
- I think both. This is the anti-point of "Would you rather"
but Shang-Chi I think will give me advice on certain things
that maybe grandma want to understand and vice versa.
- Simu, would you rather forget all of your lines
in a scene with sir Ben Kingsley
or lose all of your bowel functions
in a scene with Michelle Yeoh?
- Wow. I would rather lose all of my bowel functions
in a scene with Michelle Yeoh.
I have had the unfortunate circumstance
of not being able to pick up a line with Sir Ben Kingsley
and I could tell you, it felt awful.
I also know Michelle to be the kind
and non-judgemental friend that she is,
that if I were to evacuate all of my bowels while in a
doing a scene with her, that she would not judge.
- Aww.
- She would simply point me in the direction
of the nearest bathroom.
(Josh chuckles)
and I would be on my way.
- What a consummate professional and glorious woman.
Just as important, just the substantive,
would you rather be four feet taller or four feet shorter.
- Four feet? So if I'm 5'3", what's the math on that?
- Then you're 15 inches tall or you're 9'3".
- 9'3".
I would just love to see just at one concert.
- At one specific concert just or general?
- Fleetwood Mac or Doobie Bros.
I'd love to be nine three at those concerts, yes.
(jazz music plays)
- Part of the challenge of being a superhero
is to make anything sound bad-ass.
We're going to give you a couple of lines.
Let's see you and your best Shang-Chi bad-ass voice
deliver this aggravates. Ready?
- Absolutely.
Can someone please tell me when the next season of
Bridgerton starts? I'm dying here?
- Wow. There's a lot there.
- I aggressively like Bridgerton.
(Josh laughing)
I just played Animal Crossing for three hours.
My island is thriving.
- I'm frightened of your island. Ed.
- Ed Sheeran has the voice of an angel and I will
(bleep)
anyone who says otherwise
- Don't look at me.
- 'cause I'm self-centered because it's
bad-ass to be PG 13.
- Nailed it. My new friend, Sima Liu,
the newest bad-ass on the scene.
Congratulations on all your success, man.
- Thank you, Josh. And you watch Shang-Chi
and the Legend of the 10 Rings
in theaters on September 3rd.
- He's got a movie trailer voice too.
- I know. I know.
(Josh laughing)
- Look at my bad-ass movie trailer voice.
(ending credit song plays)