Hey, girls. Janice, is that really you?
Wow, you look amazing.
You must have had 75 different expensive surgeries over the course of many years to get a great look like that.
Nope, I just called Dr. Ron and Cut 2 The Chase.
Aren't you tired of plastic surgeons
who tell you to slow down or think about what you're doing,
forcing you to undergo one surgery after another
till you get the look you want?
Who has the time or money for that?
At Cut 2 The Chase, we do it all
in just one affordable, apocalyptic procedure.
Would you like to look like a human-cat hybrid
who eats bees?
Of course you would.
You have crippling body dysmorphia,
and no one can talk sense into you.
(woman lisping) I used to hate people knowing if I was happy or sad.
Now my face and labia look the same.
Thanks, Dr. Ron.
My college-aged daughter is really cute,
and that was threatening to me.
But now, my face is the one threatening her
and all children.
Thanks, Dr. Ron.
When I was a human, I hated it.
Now I poop in sand.
Thanks, Dr. Ron.
(meows)
With my patented Hail Mary technique,
I can perform five divorces' worth of surgery
in one easy procedure.
Hmm.
Don't you owe it to yourself
to look like you fell into a tank of chemicals
while fighting Batman?
Come to Cut 2 The Chase and get your first and last procedure.
Cut 2 The Chase.
Because you're (bleep) shattered.