At fine restaurants, it's considered rude to butter yourself.
[audience laughing]
If you're telling a guy a story and he starts to choke,
don't say, "look dude, I'm right in the middle of my story."
Cancel one good meal. That'll be eight bucks.
Here's a hundred dollar bill.
Whoa! Thanks, lady.
[audience laughing]
I would like change, please.
What's wrong with the way things are?
Is something bothering you?
- Oh yes. - What is it?
Well, Kik, there's only two things on this island.
- Uh-huh? - There's sand and you.
See if you can guess.
Let's play catch!
[audience laughing]
Yeah, I ordered a bowling ball from this department store.
And you people accidentally sent me this bowl instead.
[audience laughing]
And you have a complaint?
Yeah.
Don't you see me standing here?
Complaining, about the bowl.
Is it a trumpet?
[buzzing]
No.
Paula, we've told you that it is not a musical instrument.
And that it is a fruit, and that it is orange.
As in a fruit that is orange, or an orange fruit.
[audience laughing]
Do you use it in a bathtub?
[buzzing]
[gasping]
[crying]
What is it doc?
I really can't say, I'm not a corn specialist.
All I can do now is watch.
What kind of a doctor are you? Do something! Do something!
[all yelling]
[audience laughing]
[crying]
What if he wakes up and I'm not here.
It's okay, it's okay.
[whistling]
Ssh!
Just study.
Quietly!
[audience laughing]
Pop! Pop my corn!
Dance with me cowboy!
Well, all righty Miss Fingerly.
Let's go. Dance with me.
Fentiss, hit me with some of that old foggy-nog, grassy, fiddle funk!
Whoo!
[piano music playing]
Yee-haw!
Whoo! Whoo!
Please welcome the Maroons.
[audience applauding]
[screaming]
[audience laughing]
Now the rules are, I ask some questions and you guys answer them.
Whoever has the most points wins.
[screaming]
Stop it. Quit the screaming.
[music playing]
- It's a bird. - It's a plane.
You two couldn't be more wrong. It's Superdude.
[telephone ringing]
- Oh, I'll get it. - Don't touch that phone!
I'll get it.
Detective Dan.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Are you the Wiffles?
Oh yes, that's what we're named.
Ah-hah! Why would someone call you here
unless you told them you'd be here robbing the house?
[audience laughing]
This is our house! We live here!
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
The dandruff on my uncle falls mainly on his spaghetti.
[audience laughing]
Ethel, look!
There's a strange man on our couch.
He must be a burglar.
[audience laughing]
Good job, girl!
What you making for supper, Nana?
Your favorite, butter and gravy.
Butter and gravy, oh my.
I just love butter and gravy.
You know, the only thing I like better than butter and gravy--
Shut your coughing hole!
Yes, Nana.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Watch.
[audience laughing]
Diagnose this, quack!
[audience laughing]
Go on now, get!
[audience laughing]
Thank goodness you're back. Hey, I need some help. I need some help.
All right, we know you know Keenan and Kel more than anybody.
Oh, yes.
What about your experience on All That with these guys?
I had so much fun with these punks when they were little teenagers.
- Young little punks. - Little punks.
Kel is endlessly entertaining.
[laughing]
Keenan though,
I think Keenan's probably the one that would make me break up the most.
- By being silly. - Yeah.
They say, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
I say, people who wear glass underwear should never, ever sit down.
Goodbye everyone, may all of your information be vital.
[audience laughing]
[air horn sounding]
I said quiet! You're still yapping!
[audience laughing]
This little piggie needs a trim.
[audience laughing]
This little piggie's too long.
[audience laughing]
This little piggie looks infected.
[audience laughing]
Ew.
Did you get my letters?
I wrote you every day.
[audience laughing]
I know this is corny, hehe...
[audience laughing]
But I never got over you.
What's that you say? Marriage!?
He's getting down on one knee!
What knee? It's a corn!
[audience laughing]
Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!
[audience laughing]