>> This episode of the Modern Rogue
brought to you by--
Did you see that Veritasium video?
>> DEREK: Veritasium.
>> Oh, yeah. He did the video on
what makes a video go viral.
>> Yes, correct, and it's 20 minutes long.
Everybody should watch it.
It's a deep dive into how the algorithm works,
and why you can be subscribed to something
and still not see it in your feed.
Long story short,
number one everybody watch it, it's in the notes.
But, at the end, spoiler-alert,
he says you got to ring the bell.
>> He turns into a YouTube guy--
>> No, no, no!
He tries very hard not to.
>> You have to, though.
>> That means we have to as well,
he's smarter than both of us put together.
>> Absolutely, and as we get closer to a million,
we need you guys to mobilize, and not only subscribe, but,
>>> BOTH: ring the bell, please.
>> Look we're those guys, ring the bell,
true fans ring the bell.
Fake fans subscribe.
True fans also subscribe and ring the bell.
[vhs ejection] [birds chirping]
[frustrated sigh]
>> Okay, I know what's going on here.
Sick of this [bleep].
Brian?
Da--
[keys jangling]
Are you--
[declaratively] I'm coming in to get the fans.
[resigned] Okay.
[sharp inhale]
[sharp exhale]
[whoosh] >> Desperate defense! [Jason screams in horror]
[thump] [deep synthetic rumble]
[electrical pop] [gentle vinyl static]
[rising chime] >> All right Jason Murphy,
Desperate Defense Week continues. We did a wallet,
we did a two-by-four...
What's next?
>> A billiard ball!
>> Does it matter, stripes or solids?
♪ [slow jazzy beat] Is the cue ball slightly smaller?
>> Everyone knows that the eight-ball
is the best way to defend yourself.
>> Of course, yeah. You say,
"I'll give you an eight ball if you please don't attack me."
[laughter] >> BRIAN: [descending] ♪ Da-da-dat, da-da, dah ♪
>> So, what would you imagine you would use this for?
>> First and foremost you would
imagine throwing it, right?
>> That is actually the last ditch thing.
You can do that but, imagine how hard it is,
and you're probably not going
to incapacitate them with your throwing arm.
>> Sure, but I guess if you're looking
to harry them and distract them,
maybe you can-- maybe just the threat
of it being thrown at them is enough
to get them to flinch or something.
>> Well, that just gives you a chance to get away.
>> Correct. >> Right?
>> But not necessarily defend yourself, because you're right
your ammunition
and the weapon are the same thing.
>> Yeah. >> And you got one shot.
>> Yeah, and you got to be a good shot,
and then you've given away your weapon.
>> I'm going to see if I can-- If I can hit Dave.
[Jason laughs gleefully] So if he's this far away--
>> JASON: I would like to first say, before you throw that,
you're going go get it. >> That's fine.
Go away bad guy! [thwack]
That's not bad.
Oh, I hope I didn't lose that.
[Jason bursts out laughing]
[in disbelief] It really seemed to go far away.
Dude!
I heard a clang!
[yelling from the woods] >> BRIAN: There's a can of Foster's!
It hit the can of Foster's
and that's how I knew it's right here next to it. >> JASON: Nice.
You kind of clipped him.
I think that would give you time to get away, maybe?
>> So if you're not supposed to throw it,
I assume you use it as a blunt force instrument, like--
>> Exactly.
>> Because we measured kind of the impact of a fist.
[rattling thud]
[impressed laughter]
>> Yeah.
Yeah, you could hurt somebody.
>> That's the end of the fist right there.
Wow.
I wish I could just break this.
[smack]
But--
[smack]
>> Feels like you're going to smash your fingers though.
>> Exactly. You want to hold it like this,
with your thumb wrapped around it,
but then you are just going to break your own fingers,
whereas if you keep it kind of cupped,
then you can... [thwack]
like that--give that a try.
Feel that, feel that. >> Okay, I got ya.
[smack]
>> Yeah, that would work.
>> Here, see if you can dent this.
>> Probably not.
I mean that thing lived through Thermite.
[clang]
[gleeful laughter]
>> Did it dent? Oh it did! >> BRIAN: You definitely dented it, yeah!
>> JASON: It totally did!
>> BRIAN: Dude, that's great.
[clank] [bouncing across concrete]
That's a big dent though.
>> Oh that is--that's nice. Yeah!
>> BRIAN: In no universe does my fist
dent this the way that did.
>> JASON: Absolutely not. >> BRIAN: That is a tremendous difference.
>> Yeah, I think this is the best method.
One of the other methods
is actually using it as fist-filler,
to give you hand some extra heft.
>> That just seems like a really good way to break to your fingers.
>> You are going to break your fingers like this.
If you hit them without it,
you're probably still going to break your hand.
>> Right. >> If you punch someone,
this just gives you a little extra weight, but,
once you do that-- >> No,
I'm telling you the cupped palm method,
just being able to go crack, crack, crack, on the--
and do they say aim for the head, or anywhere else?
>> The head is good.
You're going to want to go for, like maybe behind the ear,
or the back of the head, or the temple.
>> Yeah, that's much more powerful than I would have thought.
>> Yeah.
This one is my favorite method. >> All right.
>> If you have a long sleeve shirt,
or something like that-- Here, knot that up at the end.
>> Sure, all right.
>> Now this is kind of Steven Seagal style. [excited laughter]
>> Knot that up at the end, tie it really tight,
and then you slip the ball in there.
>> So it becomes a giant sap?
>> Yeah!
>> Huh.
♪ [music fades out]
[slightly muffled thwack]
>> Whoa!
You can feel it all through your arm,
now that you've extended it,
you're getting all this momentum
and it just cracks,
[crack]
right on top.
So I'm going to--
[metallic clonk]
♪ ♪
>> Yeah.
>> Is that--is that any more? >> I don't think it's any different, no.
It was about the same as hitting it--
>> Yeah.
>> But I think you're getting more momentum,
I think that is going to be more effective. Right?
>> Yeah, I guess, let's try one more time.
>> Okay.
[clank]
>> That sounded louder.
[disheartened] >> Yeah.
Not as big of a difference as I would have expected though.
On the flip side there's padding around it now.
I don't know how much that effects it.
>> JASON: Oh, yeah, yeah that could be.
[table rattling thwack]
>> Huh. I think for the time investment
it takes to set this all up-- >> Tying the sleeves off and everything?
>> Yeah, I think you're better off
just grabbing it and going to town.
>> Well, a better way could be if you have a towel,
set it in the middle of a towel, grab the corners, and go.
>> Or pull off a sock, down at the bottom of a sock
I'd imagine it would really crack them. >> A sock would definitely work, yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Efficacy of the eight-ball,
I would say, pretty good.
Less than the two-by-four, more than the wallet.
>> [laughing] Much more than the wallet. >> [emphasized] Much more than the wallet.
>> But also much less, turns out there's a big gap
between a wallet and a two-by four.
>> There's a--yeah. >> And this is right there in the middle.
>> Yeah, but again,
you know if you're at pool hall or a bar or something like that
this is an effective weapon.
>> Yeah, if you just need to triple your punishment power,
then I think that's a good way to do it.
Don't throw it, though. That's a bad idea.
[through laughter] >> Yeah.
Then you're wandering through the woods.
-- CC BY BIZARRE MAGIC --
[quieter] >> JASON: I don't think it did-- >> I'm going into the woods, aren't I?
>> I don't think it did.
>> That's the only one we've got.
That's--
Oh boy.
[Jason snickering]
Who saw that coming? ♪ [Brian whistles jauntily]
[radio static, wind, and thunder]
[gentle clacking across concrete]