Once every semester in high school we would have a mandatory "Spirit Assembly."
I've been told that it was about supporting our sports teams or something, but based on
the title, I'm not entirely convinced that it wasn't about ghosts.
Anyway, my friends and I would usually get our parents to write us notes so we could
leave after lunch instead of having to sit in those uncomfortable bleachers for two hours.
But one time, I forgot to get my note.
I was resigned to my spooky fate until 5th period when I found my golden ticket.
Someone had left a printed staff-only email ~in plain sight!~ It listed who was supposed
to guard which door after final attendance was taken to be sure that students couldn't
skip the assembly.
Armed with this email, and a map of the school, I began to hatch my escape plan.
I crossed off every exit in the list and found that one was to be left unattended.
For some reason the assembly was in the gym, so the auditorium - and its backstage door
leading outside - would be unsupervised.
Which would have been perfect if the entrance to the auditorium wasn't locked from the inside.
Luckily, I just happened to have some electrical tape.
When the lunch bell rang, I ran to my locker and hit my first snag.
Kyle noticed me taking things out of my locker instead of putting them away and immediately
knew.
"TimTom!
How are you getting out of this?"
With no time to explain, I got all Terminator-y on him and was like "Come with me if you want
to live"
So Kyle grabbed his bag and followed me to the the auditorium's side door, in plain view
of an exit that would soon be guarded.
I knew that the side door could be unlocked if you pulled up on the handle real hard,
but for the sake of the story pretend that I picked the lock because that's way cooler.
"What are we even doing?"
Shut-up Kyle, I have a plan.
We made our way to the back of the auditorium and stashed our bags.
Then, I covertly disabled the entrance's locking mechanism.
Doesn't that sound cool?
I put tape on the latches.
After lunch everyone headed to take attendance before the assembly.
It was then that panic set in.
The entrance to the auditorium may be unlocked... but it's raised above the cafeteria floor...
walking up those steps would be suspicious.
We needed: a credibility prop.
For those of you not versed in The Art Of Doing Things You're Not Supposed To, a credibility
prop is something that makes it look like you belong where ya don't.
When I reached my class, I saw it.
A fifty foot Ethernet cable coiled on a table by the door.
Perfect.
I was the first out of the room, and when I saw Kyle I threw him one end of the cable
and let it all unfurl.
Now if a teacher saw us walking up the steps, it would look like we were working?
I guess?
Look, it made sense at the time, ok?
"It didn't."
Shut up Kyle!
We grabbed our bags and headed backstage.
Kyle opened the door blinding me with sunlight and freedom before retreating immediately.
Someone who had made a break for it was getting hauled back inside by a teacher, and she had
almost seen us!
Dang it Kyle, do not blow this operation!
I opened the door more cautiously this time.
The coast was clear, and we bolted in opposite directions.
Rob, my getaway driver who remembered his note was waiting in his car, engine running.
It was hard to believe, after what must've been whole minutes of planning, we were finally
free.
*eagle screech*
My fifth period teacher actually overheard me discussing my plan, and was like "TimTom,
why don't you just go to the assembly?"
and I remember really dramatically turning around and saying something like "It's not
about the assembly, it's about the plan."
and he was like "... alright" and went back to playing solitaire.
One time I skipped school by hiding in someone's backyard when the bus pulled up to the stop,
and then I walked home after my mom left for work and used her email to let the school
know that I was sick, and I deleted their reply.
Which is horrible, but it was the only time I've ever impersonated someone, and I wanna
pretend that makes it better.
I never told her that though, so... you know, sorry mom.
At least I had a good reason!
Ok?
There was a physics test that day and I wanted to play Minecraft instead.
And before I go, I want to thank James from The Odd1sOut for the cameo.
You might not have heard of him, he's a pretty small channel.
"Hey, thanks for the exposure!"
Oh, anytime!
Who knows, one day you might be as popular as me...