And a picture of Sidney Poitier by the bed, okay
And we offer two double beds separated or a queen bed. I'm assuming y'all would want the queen bed since
(Laughter)
We're not a couple this is a business trip, we're keeping it very professional what separate yes professional professional professional
Every
Hotel
Ever
Dude I'm so afraid to touch anything in hotel rooms
Hey, don't people use those black light things to see how dirty a hotel room is? well It's funny
You should say that because yes, they do, let's see what we're working with. Oh, I don't think you want to do that
It's not necessary. All right, we're going for it cool
It's a lot cleaner than i anticipated, don't you think
What the f-
Why are these towels crunchy?
C'mon, we're gonna miss the free breakfast
Excuse me, where's the complimentary breakfast? Oh, it's in the breakfast hall to your left
But you guys already missed it, sorry. Wait, but it's at 5 a.m to 6 a.m.
Free breakfast.
That is correct
However, that is only for Gold Card members, you guys are regular guests
Which means breakfast goes from 2 a.m to
2:15 a.m. With proof they've slept for at least three hours
Who has proof that they slept?
Who doesn't?
Are you a real doctor? No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night
Oh
Finally some time from the kids. You know, it's crazy, we're literally paying good money to be away from our children
Yeah, we're essentially paying for sex which is technically prostitution
Hmm
I feel weird about it now.
As you should
Freeze. Don't move
You're under arrest for the solicitation of prostitution. What I thought you were my wife. You thought wrong, scum
But I loved you! you love wrong, dirtbag!
We have children together
Guess again, pervert
Sarah? Bradley?
You disgust me sicko. You're going away for a long time DAD
(Laughter)
(Laughter) Noooo
Hotel
Motel
Holiday inn
Can't believe you spent $800 for three nights in this crappy hotel room.
Oh Don't worry, I got this. See I figured out a way to recoup our costs
Shampoo conditioner? Yeah, I figure we spend, what? Ballpark big year rounding down roughly
$4,000 a month on shampoo and conditioner, and this will get us through the next three weeks
So we spend one week a month at a hotel, cutting our costs in half
You're a f***ing genius
Should get those, cuz we don't know if those two go to waste.
I want to rent this movie for $26.99
Man, I'm starving, should we just order room service? imagine how expensive that'll be. Lets just door dine. Door dine? Yeah
It's where you eat other people's room service. Oh, that sounds good. Leftovers, you eat other people's leftovers. It's mostly ketchup napkins
(Hiss)
No running in the lobby
(beep)
Damnit
(beep)
(laughing)
He only lasted two minutes, I win. I thought he had more in him. Well alright now whose key card you gonna deactivate now?
Double or nothing all the same guy?
Oh its on!
Every
Hotel
Ever
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