what if episode 1 was good like really
good what if I were a story exec at Fox
and George Lucas came to me and was like
this is the film I'm directing and I was
like no let's go through this right now
and let's see all the point that work
and don't work and I'm going to rework
it right now with you so here bearing in
mind what George Lucas presented to all
of us we're going to get my version of
episode 1 so here we go with what if now
the big thing whenever making a sequel
or prequel whenever you're revisiting a
franchise things need to feel old and
new at the same time now George made the
misstep of thinking that familiarity met
characters however the same can be
accomplished through theming and
parallels it also helps to have a main
character episode one was very muddled
in that regard you aren't really sure
who to point to and it is really
apparent who it should be
it's obi-wan story much as the way as
the original trilogy's were all about
Luke however the overarching story will
be about Darth Vader with that in mind
we open in similar fashion with obi-wan
and qui-gon jinn going to Naboo however
they aren't stopping directly at the
Trade Federation because right now it's
peacetime obi-wan is wistfully looking
off into space and reminiscing about the
days of yore where they were brave Jedi
Knights fighting the ultimate evil the
Sith whereas now they're going from
routine checkups from planet to planet
kind of like galactic sheriffs and quite
on who still is masters like dude just
be happy that the Sith aren't here
anymore those were very dark times in
this moment we get to see that obi-wan
is naive like Luke was at the start of
his journey
but we don't have much time to think
about it because what's this the Trade
Federation they see that the ships are
all going to the palace and they divert
course so they landed they find out from
some Native Duncan's but not Jar Jar
because it's not important that this
invasion has been taking place over the
past few weeks only one gets excited at
the chance of action welcome I go does
along with the Galactic Senate and the
Jedi Council knew nothing about this
what was once a routine check-up is now
a rescue mission for the Queen
so this rescue and subsequent escape is
now our first real burst of action and
since we've spent more time getting to
know our characters we're going to be
more invested in this action as opposed
to meeting two strangers who then
immediately take out their lights
and from the escape the same beats can
play out as we lay it on Tatooine so
they need parts and they need to go down
and get the pieces now this is where we
start to deviate a little more because
in the released film obi-wan stays on
the ship while qui under Padme go out
into the desert but obi-wan is our main
character so obi-wan qui-gon and Padme
now all go just like the actual film
qui-gon can voice some concern about
taking a hand-made now to Tatooine and
Padme can respond that she can take care
of herself just fine and maybe qui-gon
should be more concerned about his
servant taking care of himself
referring to obi-wan and we get have a
fun back-and-forth bit of verbal
sparring as they walk out into the
desert and that bickering would remind
us of that's one of the big things that
the film was lacking a sense of
playfulness among characters rather than
just giving poop jokes to Jar Jar and
then they get to Anakin and again more
tweaks are gonna happen he's not a boy
he's a teen or young adult and he's not
a mechanical genius so he definitely has
it built c-3po it's great that you want
to give people fanservice George but
these characters can show up later
obi-wan in Tatooine are familiar faces
enough for episode 1 however it is
wonderful that you're showing us a
different side of Tatooine the pod
racing is kind of cool and the whole
idea that there's like scrap junkyard
and that you know whatever that's fun
again old and new on a side note the
whole idea of - I dare Ian's being the
trump card to Jetta is kind of weird
because you did kind of create Superman
in that so to create a creature that can
be like no no I don't fall for that does
work but it also is like why didn't the
Empire just like you know get a bunch of
twins to always deal as stormtroopers
because then Jedi would never be able to
anyway so qui-gon jinn meets Anakin is
like holy the force is strong with
this one and obi-wan is like wait what
are you talking about and qui-gon jinn
is like no no the force it's really
strong because he can just feel it since
midi-chlorians aren't a thing you know
and quite cons like oh man I have to
train him and only ones like dude I'm
right here so an upset obi-wan wanders
the streets of Tatooine and maybe stops
at a bar you know if George wants to
reference himself and being in a not so
pleasant mood he gets himself into a
skirmish with a podrace Padme shows up
and they manage to make it out alive and
we see a mutual respect developing
between the two and the hints of a
blossoming romance so they return to the
podrace training but oh my god wouldn't
you know it why who's podracer manages
to get himself injured and qui-gon is
like oh I can test my hunch now oh hey
why don't you
manikin race and everyone's like uh
Anakin's like I've never done that
before we're dealing with a more
sheepish Anakin he's a slave so he
wouldn't have a ton of confidence but
why I tells Anakin as long as he uses
the force all will be well
from there the same bet goes down we get
to see Anakin's confidence grow when he
wins my gun's hunch is proven and yeah
Anakin's free it gets to be a Jedi so we
got the parts and we're going back and
OSHA Darth Maul and they have that brief
encounter and they're like wait what's
if so they get on the ship they fly up
they go to Coruscant and Queen Amidala /
Padme is in the Senate and she's like
look the Trade Federation is really
up in Naboo and everyone's
like what are you talking about
bureaucracy is amazing she's like I'm
just gonna have to do this myself
meanwhile mace windu is chastising
qui-gon jinn about taking on Anakin
because Anakin is too old that you know
completely flies and again when we meet
the Jedi Council we don't meet Yoda we
just hear about how awesome he is
because that's a good reveal to the
character of just hearing Master Yoda
Master Yoda really great master Yoda and
we all know Master Yoda's really great
cuz we've seen episode 5 and Mace Windu
raises the point of like what about
obi-wan Kenobi he hasn't fully learned
and qui-gon says well when I was
teaching obi-wan as a Padawan I learned
a ton from him and obi-wan will learn
from whoever he teaches meanwhile right
outside the doors Anakin and obi-wan are
sitting waiting for qui-gon to get out
well they're sitting out there
Palpatine sets out now Palpatine is no
longer a senator but is the intermediary
between the Senators and the Jedi
Council so he actually has more strings
to pull because he's the one who sent
them to Naboo to get Queen Amidala and
everything this also allows him to be
friendly with all the Jedi so he shows
up and he's like hey where's Master Yoda
and obi-wan like oh you know he's off
doing amazing things cuz Yoda is amazing
and this is Anakin and Anakin like hi
and Palpatine zayed you don't seem to
like Anakin very much and obi-wan
confides in Palpatine he's like well I'm
a little jealous and Palpatine's like be
careful jealousy can lead you to the
dark side
intent before we can even realize what's
going on they're on their way back to
Naboo so they all go down and they can
meet the Gungans if they want at that
point Padme can reveal oh I'm
Amidala and they're like what that's
crazy and that really you know works
because the Queen wandering around
there would be less reason for her to be
talking to obi-wan so we'll hold on to
that and she'll have her big reveal and
George Lucas will be very happy because
he loves his reveals and the gunman's
offered to give them their ships to
travel then surprise the Viceroy blah
blah blah so the big thing is we aren't
having four different battles going on
when they need to get to one point the
Viceroy and reclaim Naboo the Jedi Padme
the Gungans they're all going to take on
one person it's streamlined and
simplified and I know a lot of you were
like but wait where where's Anakin well
Anakin's back at the Jedi Council where
he should be because why the would
you take a kid when I mean they
established that the Jedi's have a
training center so just like Georgie
wanted they're all going straight to the
vise right in oh Darth Maul's back
again but instead of getting separated
and going off in the light bridge
generator room or whatever that the Jedi
and Sith wind up and they're going to
stay pretty close to the action in fact
Padme and her dealing with the Droid and
the Sith and the Jedi battles are gonna
be you know both kind of headed towards
the same place where the Viceroy is and
right before they run off to take on
Darth Maul Padme gives a little like
take care to obi-wan and obi-wan now is
like oh you you are interested in
me that's cool and runs off with the
power of love fueling him to take on
Darth Maul we get our cool lightsaber
battles we get our cool blasters we
don't need any space battle again cuz
who would we even care about going up
and dealing with that I mean they
somehow got onto Naboo anyway so the
blockade wasn't doing anything
so the Gungans and nami dollar like
facing off on droids and they're like
black law class class class and they get
to the Viceroy and they're about to like
be like Viceroy you're finished and at
that exact moment dark milk I got an OE
one stumble out of the room and
everyone's like what and the Viceroy is
like blam and pom is like ah and Obi was
like oh I'm gonna go run take care
of that away from qui-gon and Darth Maul
to Padme who he cares about of course in
that exact moment
he's now directly responsible for when
Jar smells like slice and Obi was like
wait what what
so everybody starts blasting it
mole and Maul runs away obi-wan runs
over to qui-gon and it's like hey uh
Master oh and Clarins like yeah
dude please just promise me you'll
take care of Anakin
nobody was like well she'll grow and
learn to be friends with one another oh
and if I ever see Darth Maul yeah I'll
really kill the out of it grade and
qui-gon dies now to me the way that
Darth Maul was handled in Episode one
he's the greatest mistake of the prequel
trilogy 'he's honestly if there was only
one thing that I could change it would
be the Darth Maul would not die
obi-wan needs a motivator and Darth Maul
is an embodiment of evil form all two
best obi-wan and then kill his master
there's plenty of room for growth there
and the next time they meet it's going
to be epic in the film we got all that
obi-wan had to do in the subsequent two
films was basically play clue for the
Jedi Council it's not a personal affair
but if he's trying to find Maul
oh you can bet he's gonna put his heart
and soul into it
and even if we did allow for him to get
cut in half in Episode one and the Star
Wars universe we can have robotics
replace things and he sliced them
perfectly in half
so he's entire lower half is robotics
that's the perfect opportunity for
obi-wan to be haunted by this nightmare
he'd show up again and obi-wan wouldn't
know what to think in this instance Maul
would be stronger and even if some
serious beef against obi-wan and oh look
at that there's some crazy foreshadowing
of Anakin's fate
cuz he's like half robot half man Oh
funny that and it just makes sense to
have a long-term villain that's known to
the protagonist Luke sees Vader kill
obi-wan Kenobi and they finally meet an
empire the stakes are super high and
every time they meet the relationship
just gets more and more complex but god
yeah this this one really bugs me let's
get back to the story so meanwhile back
in chorus on Darth Maul's like yo
Sidious really sorry I didn't you know
hold Naboo and Darth Sidious is like
it's okay does Mel's like what and our
cities is like hey it's okay you killed
qui-gon jinn now obi-wan is full of rage
and you know he's gonna go after you and
kill you and then he'll be my apprentice
because you know I was sensing a really
strong thing when I ran into him with
the chamber but what he doesn't know is
it's actually Anakin that he was sensing
so Darth Maul is like wait so you're
going to pit everybody and our cities is
like that's why I'm the Emperor I pull
strings all the time and so
we're like oh
this is kinda dark Obi Wan's gonna turn
and before we can even really think
about it we're back to Naboo where
they're all celebrating because they
think everything's hunky-dory because
they've freed the place and just looking
back from the start of the film so much
has happened to obi-wan and he's grown
so much he's no longer the Padawan he's
been pushed from the nest and has to
learn to fly and we're excited to see
where he goes as the world is becoming
more complex as other relationships
around him we're excited for the next
movie but that's just a what-if so
listen my ramblings on Episode one leave
your ramblings of what you would do with
the prequel trilogy z' in the comments
below and if you'd like to hear more
what ifs please let me know because I'm
not really sure if anybody's gonna enjoy
this or not and of course if you want
you can check out previous reviews as
for me it's time for a public reading of
some Star Wars fan fiction Chewbacca
smiled at Anakin and slowly reached up
and grabbed his lightsaber he made sure
that the saber was firm between his
hands c-3po c-3po Oh
Sebulba advance towards the pit droid I
understand if you get hit on the nose
you go damn something hard any chance
you'll service something other than a
ship so young Jake Lloyd walked into
that 50s diner from the second film and
saw that fat dude with four arms