Nothing was going on Chirstopher! I should have made you walk home! I swear to God. You know how
this looks? Don’t talk to me! Shut your mouth! I’m the Boss, Michael! What you have belongs
to me! Even the girl I loved? What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is mine!
Christopher Moltisanti wasn’t too bright. In a universe filled with dimwitted Mobsters who
were generally driven by short tempers, a lack of moral standards, and an uncanny blend of greed and
short sightedness, Moltisanti was quite possibly the most dimwitted Mobster of them all. Indeed,
Moltisanti was a complete and total moron, a unique combination of delusions of grandeur
and addiction that resulted in every disaster from sitting on a dog to the death of his fiancee.
Right at the beginning of the series, Christopher was portrayed as a fiery hot head who wasn’t too
bright. Oof madone! That stunad didn’t even know how to say “Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes”.
Tony always had a sentimental weakness for his nephew Christopher, who was often talking when he
should have been listening. Christopher was never afraid to speak his mind and had an opinion on
everything from the mob to the “human condition.” As a result of the way he was spoiled by Tony,
and frequently given a pass when others of higher status may have been reprimanded,
Christopher had an inflated ego and an inexplicable sense of self-entitlement. His
connections paid great dividends, as Christopher was on the fast track to becoming a made man and
having the accompanying privileges that come with being related to the Boss who favored him - even
after he later became a full-fledged addict. At various points in the story, other Mobsters
were envious and resentful of the favorable treatment Tony afforded his nephew. Paulie, Patsy,
and Junior all resented Moltisanti at points, and in one particular incident, Silvio was even
defiant of Tony and ordered Patsy to ignore orders with regards to the theft of expensive fiber optic
cables. Moltisanti’s quick rise and the favoritism he received were already points of contention,
but the fact that Tony was grooming Christopher as the future of the family was often too much
for their envious short tempers to handle. At later points in the story, it was Chrissy who
was becoming jealous of Tony’s close relationship with his cousin Tony B,
and then again later in the series when Bobby and Tony started becoming closer. In part Tony
began distancing himself from his nephew because he knew that Chrissy was evolving into a junkie.
But deeper below the surface was the Adriana situation - both in terms of the car accident
Tony and Ade were involved in while they were on a late night hunt for llello, and then again
when Moltisanti informed Tony that he discovered Adriana had been working with the FBI. But the
Tony-Adriana rumors represented the breaking point in the Tony-Christopher relationship,
and that breaking point was never again mended. This is best represented in his revenge fantasy
portrayed in their movie production of Cleaver - Saw meets The Godfather Part 2!
Well that’s the kind we’re doing here! Saw, The Ring - they made
millions! And that’s not even including The Godfather angle, which we got here!
Originally known as the Pork Store Killers, Cleaver was the brainchild of Moltisanti
and Carmine Lupertazzi Jr. It is a story about a young man who goes to pieces and then manages to
pull himself together again. For Moltisanti, this was probably his life’s crowning achievement.
His roots as an aspiring writer, actor, and artist began early in Season 1, when Christopher wrote 19
pages of a script, before recognizing his own limitations and becoming depressed. He also had
that moment where he toyed with the idea of becoming a player in the music industry, but
ultimately Chrissy was wise enough to trust Hesh’s judgment over that of his girlfriend Adriana,
who like Christopher, was someone who believed she had greater artistic inclination than was
really the case. She did-dent. A hit is a hit. 2x5 Adriana is inexplicably impressed by her man’s
writing prowess, so she decides to enroll him in an “Acting for Playwrights” course. Unlike the
case with his terrible writing skills, Moltisanti actually displayed some potential when it came to
acting. But he was unable to cope with the vulnerability that comes with the territory,
so the next week he beat up the poor fella who was playing his father in their skit which earned
Moltisanti the ire of his peers in the class. Christopher also had the experience with his
cousin’s fiance, who got him on the set with John Favreau, where he had a brief working relationship
that involved unethical behavior that upset Moltisanti. After learning that Christopher was
sharing inside knowledge with the filmmaker, Tony was mighty perturbed and provided his nephew with
an ultimatum - a courtesy he would not extend to Eugene later in the series when he wants
to move to Florida. Christopher had seemingly devoted himself to Tony, thus apparently ending
his aspirations in the movie business. But like a phoenix rising from the ashes,
Moltisanti couldn’t resist the temptations. And he did-dent! His inner artist wanted to flourish,
fate would see that he met J.T., and the foundation was in place that paved the way
to Cleaver. There is also little doubt that Moltisanti’s motivations were far more than
a pure artistic impulse. On the contrary, he was immediately enthralled by the money and power in
Hollywood after meeting Sir Ben Kingsley at a Los Angeles Hotel to discuss a potential role
in Cleaver. In his life up until then, a Don was the highest rung on the ladder. The man
who everyone in his social circle wanted to be, but the Hollywood elite functioned on another
level entirely. It was a world he could scarcely imagine, where he was a nobody and had no power
and no status. By comparison, Sir Ben Kingsley had no need to steal anything or run the petty scams
that dominated mobster existence. Companies simply gave their stuff to them because they were famous,
a situation Moltisanti is immediately jealous of, knowing he is excluded from that action. In
a rage, he mugs Hollywood legend Lauren Bacall in a hilarious sequence. Cleaver thus becomes
a vehicle for his artistic impulses, however misdirected, and an aspiration
to be in a world far superior to his own. Typically, once the movie gets off the ground,
everyone wants in on the action. A taste. The chance to get their beaks wet, and so the entire
mob goes into the movie making business based on Moltsanti’s fantasies and Carmine’s experience
making porn. Silvio, for example, becomes an expert on the slasher genre, all fired up
screaming that Michael Myers is an escaped mental patient. Moltisanti and the rest can never be
anything but mobsters however, and petty, jealous, vindictive ones at that. Thus when we finally see
the movie, the pivotal scenes we are shown give us a glimpse into how Christopher viewed Tony in the
aftermath of rumors that Tony had an affair with his fiance. Literally how trapped Moltisanti is
emotionally by the mafia world, revealing how he has no chance of escaping even should a big wig
producer write him a big check. “What’s mine is mine! What’s yours is mine!” And the scene where
Sally Boy seduces the fiance. Carmela was quick to realize that Sally Boy was meant to be Tony.
She was likewise quick to recognize that this was a revenge fantasy which displayed Chissy’s
true feelings over the Adriana ordeal. Miss eat your manicotti herself, Rosalie, also picked
up on the obvious meaning behind the scene. Cleaver is tangible proof that Christopher never
got over Tony’s perceived betrayal, which was in reality based on a logical conclusion from
Christopher, despite the grapevine rumor mill. Adriana got caught giving the big guy a blowjob.
And when the paramedics found him, she had his cock still in her mouth.
Apparently, he came all over the sunvisor. It didn’t matter that Tony and Ade didn’t actually
have an affair, they both intended to screw under a coke-fueled bender regardless. The only
reason they didn’t was because of the automobile mishap when they were on the hunt for supplies
so they could have a ski-fueled romp. The premiere of the film also results in a
dramatic change in AJ’s relationship with Blanca. They break up in the aftermath,
suggesting an obvious parallel between Chrissy and AJ. Both are largely incompetent and not too
bright, but have high opinions of themselves as Tony’s relatives and potential heirs.
A.J. however never had the stomach for the mob, lacking the mean streak required to inflict pain
or even kill people. Moltisanti has both of those traits, but lacks everything else.
Meanwhile, Tony himself remains largely clueless of all these dynamics lurking just beneath the
surface. He enjoyed the film at the time, seemed to bask a bit in a little Hollywood glamor,
seemingly forgetting that the movie only got made because Motlisanti pressured him after coming out
of a coma, and didn’t pick up on any of the obvious subtext. It was Carmela who ultimately
filled Tony in on the shallow meaning behind the entire movie - that it was Chistopher’s revenge
fantasy that revealed his true feelings towards Tony. Moltisanti found out, he threatened JT to
fess up to writing those parts, and Tony saw right through the charade. It didn’t exactly
take Sherlock Holmes to piece the puzzle together at this point. By the time Cleaver was released,
Christopher’s sense of self-entitlement became more profound. In his view, sacrificing the love
of his life to Tony was something that should have resulted in one free pass after another,
with Christopher always playing the Adriana card, often in conjunction with his addictions,
recoveries, and relapses. Not many guys have had to make the
kind of sacrifice I did. How many times are you gonna play the Adriana card?
Even when Christopher was ultimately sleeping with the real estate woman who rejected Tony (after
Tony regretted stopping his initial advances over guilt for his wife who stood by his side
while his life was in the balance). Sleeping with the fellow addict who rejected Tony was
never enough to overcome the betrayal he felt, because even here, as Christopher explained:
It’s just weird, you know, being where he’s been. He hasn’t been anywhere. Nothing
happened! I told you that. It doesn’t matter. He’s been
there in his mind. Yuck.
Christopher knew deep down, that even if Tony and Adriana didn’t actually sleep together, that they
intended to. He knew all too well of her out of state dealer in Delaware, and he knew them getting
into an accident that far away at that hour could only mean one thing. Tony of course, had some
degree of plausible deniability, but even Tony knew his justification was weak and shallow.
At the end of the day, Moltisanti was a stunad of the highest order for the shallow symbolism and
inspiration behind the characters in his revenge fantasy film. By the time Christopher was married
with child, and deep into his addiction, Tony knew all too well where he stood - he knew his
nephew - the junkie he groomed to become his #2 and the future of the family - despised him.
I think he fucking despises me. It’s pretty obvious, he wants to see me dead.
And this is ultimately why Tony Soprano killed his nephew when opportunity knocked. It provided
sociopath Tony a way to remedy the biggest blunder in his extraordinary criminal career.
Thanks for watching everyone, I hope you enjoyed, and have a wonderful night!
Louis Brasi sleeps with the fishes. Luca Brasi. Luca! Whatever.
There’s differences, Christopher. Okay? From the Luca Brasi situation and this.
She said I could sell my life story and make fucking millions! I didn’t do that! I stuck it
out with you! I’ll fucking kill you! What are you gonna do? Go all Henry Hill on me now?
What do you think? About the script? Babe, I can’t like give an opinion every time you add
a sentence. I’ve gotta have the whole story flow. I’m starting with the dialogue.
Adriana! It ate my whole script now! A hit is a hit! And this my friend is
not a hit! Why? Christ! For reasons we couldn’t comprehend or codify, you pathetic schlepper!
Un-freaking-believable! God, you were really good. Great
job Chris. How’d you make yourself cry like that?
A! Stop! Christopher! This is inappropriate.
Yeah! I hit a fucking wall. 3rd Act shit. Vicky King in 21 days to how to write a movie in,
she says that’s not uncommon. But these aren’t 3rd Act problems, they’re in the 2nd Act. Get
the fuck outta here! You fucking D-Girl!
Excuse me! Excuse me I’m a Vice President! You fucking asshole!
Fuck him! I tried so hard to be supportive with his art and getting
his screenplay made. His SCREENPLAY? If you’re not here I’m gonna assume that you
went to look for whatever the fuck it is that’s calling you out there, and I will never see you
again. If you are still here then I’m gonna assume that you have no other desire in the world than to
be with me, and your actions will show me that every fucking second of every fucking day.
Christopher! She’s not breathing! Her neck feels broken! Oh my God!
She’s dead! She must have crawled under there for warmth.
Are you fucking crazy? He sat on her while he was high.
Oh Jesus Christ! I fell asleep. She got suffocated or something. You killed little
Cosette? I ought to suffocate you! Still this thing with the dog! How could
you not see it on the chair? You’re getting emotional Tony. That’s because I know what
it’s like to lose a pet! It was a fucking horse!
What are you a vegetarian? You eat beef and sausage by the fucking carload!
It’s 2 O’clock. Cross eyed Billy probably left the Bing already. I know a guy Andre, he’s always up.
Cancel the car I’ll give you a ride. Adriana got caught giving the big guy a blowjob.
And when the paramedics found him, she had his cock still in her mouth.
Apparently, he came all over the sunvisor. Nothing was going on Chirstopher! I should have
made you walk home! I swear to God. You know how this looks? Don’t talk to me! Shut your mouth!
Remember that time, Lake George how you loved it? We can live some place like that, maybe. You could
start writing again. I can do my memoirs finally.
Frankly, all due respect, I think you owe me this, because I came to you about Adriana.
Michael Myers is an escaped mental patient! Jason and Freddy, different kind of movie. Well that’s
the kind we’re doing here! Saw, The Ring - they made millions! And that’s not even including
The Godfather angle, which we got here! That Luxury Lounge thing, can you get me in there?
I don’t know. My publicist handles all that stuff. So? Can you call him? I don’t know how
MY publicist can help you, you know?
Get the fuck away from me! What are you doing? Somebody help us! Those guys!
I’m not gonna give a big speech here. I just wanna give a shout out to the man who, without him,
this whole thing would be impossible. Anthony Soprano everybody!
Whatever else happened you made a movie, Christopher. Nobody can take that away.
100 years from now, we’re dead and gone, people will be watching this fucking thing!
You know I gotta be honest. I’m very disappointed in what you did. What are
you talking about? Your movie. The Boss sleeping with the other guy’s fiance. What? Please. Like
that wasn’t based on Tony and Ade? What? No! Why did you put it in there? It was an idea! I
don’t know. Who knows where they come from? Isaac Newton invented gravity because some
asshole hit him with an apple. It’s a movie! It’s fictional! It’s
a revenge fantasy, Tony! Which ends with the Boss’s head split open by a meat cleaver!
I think he fucking despises me. It’s pretty obvious, he wants to see me dead.
I’ll never pass a drug test.
What? You gotta get me out or I’ll lose my license.