Guys. It's been a while.
I need a, I need a hit.
Let's catch up.
Yeah, let's start with you, Dan.
Do you mind if we take a little stroll
through all the different characters?
Yes! Can you give us
a little Homer, maybe?
Yeah, boy, little Homer.
Then of course, there's Krusty the clown.
All right, Krusty.
I love late night, you can say anything!
Grandpa Simpson, what are you people doing in my room?
And of course, there's Mayor Quimby.
Not to be confused with
a certain politician from Massachusetts.
Right. Right.
And uh,
What about Groundskeeper Willy?
Don't forget Groundskeeper Willy.
Yeah.
Everyone clean up after themselves when they leave.
Now, Harry, of course, when I was there,
our favorite character to write for probably is Mr. Burns.
Mr. Burns. C. Montgomery Burns.
Yeah.
You all work for me now.
Yeah. (laughs)
Smithers. I've got a rocket in my pocket.
Yes sir. I know, sir.
But of course I also do Principal Skinner.
Principal Skinner.
There will be an assembly after school
and you all must attend.
I do Dr. Julius Hibbert.
All right!
And uh, this just in. Conan, I do Kent Brockman.
So in case there's a vacancy downstairs
in the news department.
I've covered my share of fires.
Very nice.
I, now,
I'm curious.
If you don't mind,
I thought maybe we'd try a little scene work here.
Okay. You guys are so good
playing off each other.
What about Dr. Hibbert examines Homer.
Dr. Hibbert?
Yes, sir?
I'm sorry. I, I ate all your tongue depressors.
I thought they were popsicle sticks!
That's all right, Homer.
You just take your pants down now.
Well, I already have.
Oh, all right.
It's just that my legs are blue.
And they're a bit billowy. (laughs)
All right. Now, bend over.
All Right.
I don't want this to get dirty, or anything.
Doo doo doo doo doo.
I'm gonna need a rubber glove. Now just,
Oh, I think I'm gonna need a backup rubber glove. (laughs)
Woo! Your hands are cold, doctor!
And deep!
What about Mr. Burns firing Homer.
Oh, Mr. Burns. I'm sorry. I all your tongue depressors.
It's all right, Homer, I didn't have any.
Oh. Doh!
Now,
Simpson, Simpson, what is it exactly you do
at the nuclear power plant?
Well, I make sure everything's safe.
I make sure people safen up and be safe in a safe way!
I don't think we need that anymore.
The regulatory noose has been loosened around us.
so I think we can dispense with your services.
You can consider yourself downsized.
What does that mean?
He's so scared.
I, I think it means you're dismissed, Homer.
Oh, good. Woo! Can I go back to work now?
You would think, there was a point on that show.
This is actually all stuff Conan wrote
that never made the show.
Yeah. Right. Thank you.
I remembered one of the most fun things
about working on that show was the amazing guest stars
that would come on the show.
Oh yeah. Johnny Carson
was a guest voice when I was on the show.
That's right. Sometimes it was Harry actually.
Sometimes it was, that's weird.
Yeah, it was very good. Very good.
We actually did have the actual Johnny Carson.
You had the actual Johnny Carson
and I hear that the Rolling Stones were on recently.
That's right. We had Mick Jagger
and Keith Richards and Elvis Costello, Tom Petty.
What were the Stones like?
Well, it was very interesting.
It was a particular rock and roll hierarchy.
It was like, first of all
like in terms of lateness,
you would have Mick Jagger
and Keith Richards come in about 45 minutes late.
And then like Elvis Costello, 30.
Tom petty maybe 25. Lenny Kravitz, 23.
Brian Seltzer right on time.
Right. Right.
Michael Bolton came early and
And hung around.
He wasn't even on the show!
Yeah. Eating tongue depressors.
What were Mick and Keith like?
I've never met them. Well,
you've heard of contrast between those two guys.
Right.
You could see it. I mean, you know, Mick came in,
he was very nattily dressed and very quiet
and nobody was in the room to record with him, you know,
and he would do his lines and then immediately was gone.
And in comes Keith Richards,
"Where's my (beep) microphone?"
And he had a big tumbler of vodka and orange juice.
Yeah. Yeah.
And he goes,
"Oh, okay"
And we're like,
are we gonna have to put subtitles underneath? You know?
But he was actually very, very good.
And, and the thing of it was he sign he'd sign all
"Sure, I'll take picture with you or whoever I don't
know is someone next to me right now, I'll take picture."
And he signed, he signed my wife's album cover.
And it said, "Old band, old party, 2002."
And she said, why'd you put down 2002?
He says, "I never thought I lived a see 2002."