What happens when 800 of the world's most elite footballers
and their managers live together under one roof?
Players stop being polite
and start getting Re-al.
This is
The Champions.
-People say all I do is score penalties…
but I also dive to win those penalties.
-Oh, yeah! First American to wear the Barca jersey!
America!
-You think it’s so easy for Bayern to win the league?
It takes a lot of careful planning
to buy all the best players from all the other teams.
-When the weather gets colder, it’s a good time to reconsider Florida.
We’ve got loads of hot spots.
(Coughs)
-Hurry up, mate!
The ladies will be here any minute.
-Hello, lads, we brought you some lunch.
(Gasps)
What you doing?!
-Relax, bruv, we’re diggin’ a contraband tunnel.
-Jadon, if you want to play for Manchester United one day
you can't be breaking the rules all willy-nilly.
That’s how you end up slippin’.
- Slip on this.
(Farts)
-Eww, that's a stinker.
-(Laughing)
-That’s it. You need to learn some respect.
Right now you have it pretty good at the mansion,
but you never know what next season brings.
Time you see how the other half lives…
on a tour of Europa House.
-No! I can’t go back!
You can’t make me!
-Have a good ebening.
-Hello? Anyone here?
-Here's Vardy!
-Oi! Do not sneak up on people like that!
-Welcome to Europa House.
Sorry about the exploding light bulbs...
They're incandescent!
As a former juvenile delinquent,
I’ve developed a process for getting through
to young players and settin’ ‘em straight.
I just scare the s--t out of them.
Right this way, up-and-coming talents!
Let me be your ghoulish guide through this house of Meh.
We start every day here with a free breakfast buffet.
-Oh, that's not so bad.
-But it's also not so good,
because there's no eggs.
-(Yelling) -Where do they get their protein?
-Here we have our all-inclusive community fitness center.
-Oh, nice.
-But it's just one elliptical!
-(Gasps)
-That’s not how you’re supposed to use that!
-Want to take a dip in our Stadio Olimpico-sized swimming pool?
Well, too bad, because there’s no towels!
-(Yelling)
-Oh, no, they’re cold!
-Check this out!
-(Shouting) -(Screaming)
-Bloody hell! -What happened to those guys?!
-Oh. Nothing, that's just their away kits.
I was tryna show you how small the rooms is.
-(Gasps)
-I don’t like it here. It’s scary.
-Pshhh. What’s scary? This guy?
Scariest thing about him is his caffeine addiction.
(Laughing)
-I'm sorry, you think I'm funny? I'm funny how?
I mean, funny like a clown?
I'm not a clown. This guy's a clown.
-I do birthday parties, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs,
Quinceaneras, and I've even done some football games.
-Look, mate, you can’t scare me, so stop trying.
It's just embarrassing.
-Oh, you don't think I'm scary?
Alright, then, I'll show you something scary.
-What is this place?
-It's a sauna...
But it never gets hot!
Go ahead, take a look-see.
-(Hissing)
-F--k me,
what was that?
-Anyone fancy a loan to Leicester?
-You know what... -Oh, hell no -I'm out
-Hell no -I must not -No, thank you
-Behold. My envelope of doom
shall reveal your fate.
Ah, Phil Foden. Hope of England,
like so many talents before you.
Till a little injury will become a persistent one.
And before you know it, your contract is up for renegotiation,
and you find yourself smiling through the pain
as you hold up a West Ham shirt.
-No!
I don’t like people blowing bubbles at me!
-Ansu Fati.
They call you the next Messi.
But like Bojan before you, it all goes wrong.
You ask for more playing time, but instead
you’re sold to a Portuguese club with a buy-back clause.
And you’re never bought back.
-(Screaming)
-OK, Brendan, I think that’s enough.
They're just young lads.
-And you,
Jadon Sancho.
Your fortune is just three letters long.
M... L... S...
-No! -(Laughing)
-(Laughing) -Please, please -I'll be good. I promise.
-Call us an Uber back to the mansion, -Oh, no!
-I hate it here.
-I said that's enough!
-(Yelling)
Mommy please!
-Phew!
Thanks, mate. You really showed me I need to shape up,
so I don’t end up like you.
-Ah! Another successful role-modeling by Jamie Vardy.
Bon voyage, lads!
Don’t forget to write to your new mentor, Jamie Vardy.
I’d come closer if it weren’t for me ankle bracelet!
-Here!
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